I'm a midwife AMA

[Jemima232]

Community Midwife with four children of my own.

Also worked as an Independent Midwife.

Breastfeeding Counsellor and Sleep Consultant.

@Hothotcoldhot

If you're already 3cm dilated your cervix is very favourable for induction of labour.

With any luck it shouldn't take too long. You've had some contractions already to have got to 3cm.

I hope it goes well. Looking forward to an update.

@megan25

Loads of women have bleeding in early pregnancy and nothing bad is found. In fact, there are plenty of women who bleed a lot and still go on to have a healthy pregnancy.

If you start to bleed more, and fill a pad an hour, or have pain, go to A & E.

Also, if you start to feel shaky and cold, dial 999.

Some women need blood transfusions when they have miscarriages.

I'm sure you're really worried about this but the chances are that everything will be fine. Bleeding doesn't always mean you're losing the baby, by any means.

Will you update tomorrow after your scan?

I really hope you get good news. There was someone further back in the thread in your position and her scan showed a developing baby with a heartbeat.

Thank you for saying that, it's a relief haha I've had some cramp like feelings for days but didn't notice any hardening of my stomach so good to know I've not had too bad a start! :-)

Will definitely update when he or she is here :-) thank you again for your help!

@Jemima232 thank you so so much for this. I haven't bled that much however I juts passed something that looks like a placenta (might not be) but after that I haven't bled much or passed anything else what could this be. I'm hoping everything will be fine and will let you know. Xx

Hi! I'm 34wks with dc4. I'm just wondering what your opinion is on trying to turn OP babies before labour?

I ask because all of mine (this one included) have settled in an OP position. Dd2 and 3 turned either shortly before or in labour, but all were over due, didn't engage. Dd1 and 3 were induced at 42wks.

I'm just wondering if there is any point trying to get him to move into a better position, mainly in the hope that he will then engage and I'll go into spontaneous labour at some point before 42wks. Or should I just accept that's the way I'm built/carry babies?

By trying to turn I mean spending time on all fours, balls etc.

How frequent is a brow presentation in a back to back birth? At what stage should this be picked up.

I have fast labours so was 8cm when I arrived at hospital with dd2. I had only been in pain for an hour but it escalated fast. Waters broke soon after I arrived. I was refused gas and air after about an hour as I was told I wasn't pushing effectively. I pushed for 1hr 30 mins with no pain relief before a doctor was called. She immediately realised dd was brow presentation and I was rushed for a c section.

Could this have been picked up earlier?

@megan25

How are things going with you today?

@MadeForThis

Brow Presentation

This is rare. It may not have been the case that your DD's head was presenting as a brow when you arrived at the hospital. It may have been an OP and was gradually working its way to a face presentation.

I cannot answer your question, unfortunately. Yes, it might have already been a brow presentation when you got to hospital, but there is no way to determine this now.

I'm not trying to dismiss your question or defend someone who should have been able to tell that your DD was presenting as a brow. The fact is that the mechanism of labour with an OP is such that some babies' heads will deflex (as yours did) rather than flex more, which is what the vast majority of them do.

@EverythingNow

Absolutely do your best to get your baby to turn to OA. Yes, spend time on all fours and on your ball.

You may, of course, just have a pelvis that encourages OP positions (as I do) but give it a go.

Acupuncture and homoeopathy have sometimes been successful in getting babies to adopt more favourable positions.

Let us know the outcome.

@Jemima232

Thanks for the response. I was assured that my 2 midwives were very experienced. I can't fault the care as it was a busy Christmas night and I had 2 midwives with me throughout. Was only actually there for about 3 hours before the section.

Poor DD's forehead came out very bruised and to be honest I was glad when the decision was made to do a section as I was in so much pain from pushing.

My main complaint was the refusal of gas and air as this was blamed on me not pushing effectively. This made me feel like I wasn't doing it right. I had a normal vaginal delivery with dd1 although she was also back to back. The midwives encouraged me to push in a variety of positions. Including on a toilet.

Is it likely that I am just a disaster at the pushing stage or could it have been due to her bow presentation?

My other query was could dd2 have been hurt by my pushing while she was in this position? Was she ever at risk?

@Jemima232 My daughter is 15 months and goes to sleep in her cot fine with me sat by the cot but after 45 mins ish she wakes and has an absolute meltdown she doesn't even look fully awake sometimes but the crying she does is awful and she's really hard to calm unless I pick her up and take her into my bed. Then she will go back to sleep. Does this sound like night terrors and how do I help her stay in her cot?

@Jemima232

Thank you! Will do!

@MadeForThis

Your DD was not at risk because she was a brow presentation. Her heartrate would have been monitored and any deviations from the norm would have been acted upon.

No, you're not a disaster at pushing. Midwifery textbooks tell us that there is no mechanism of labour for a brow presentation, so there was nothing you could have done other than carry on pushing.

None of this was your fault at all.

Some women, with very large pelvises and smallish babies, who have had several babies, can push out a baby who presents as a brow, but this is extremely rare and I have never seen it.

Refusal to give you gas and air

Refusal (by the midwives) to give pain relief has come up many, many times in this thread.

It is never acceptable for a midwife to refuse to administer pain relief to a woman. I said it before and I stand by it.
Pain is subjective and needs to be treated as the woman reports it, not as the midwife perceives it to be.

So I can safely say that I would have both given you gas and air and massaged you and talked you through your contractions. It will help you to make sense of your labour if you have a debrief (also suggested many times earlier in the thread.)

The powers that be need to know when their staff's clinical decisions go against a woman's needs for help.

@Hothotcoldhot

How are things going?

Hi, I'm 34 weeks 2days with my first and on Sunday night/Monday morning I had really bad Diarrhea with stomach cramps (I'm sorry tmi and gross) total of four time throughout the night and today I keep getting cramps in my lower belly and feel like somebody is squeezing me, I'm also so uncomfortable the only place I can get comfy is in my my bed and even then I'm not amazingly happy.
I also am struggling to eat I don't feel hungry and when I do eat I feel nauseous but I've got hg so not sure if it's just rearing it's ugly head again?
Should I be worried? Is there anything I can do to make this sick less?
I'm so miserable at the moment. I do have my midwife tomorrow but don't really trust her as she ignores anything I say and fobs me off a lot and is really forgetful (she had someone else's pee sample and thought it was mine last time)

@Gorillaand me

Sorry - I've only just noticed your question

Sleep Training

Now this is a very emotive subject. Your DD is 15 months old. It sounds like she has got used to you sitting beside her as she falls asleep. When she stirs (45 mins later) and realises you're not there, she panics. As you say, she has a meltdown and only calms herself when you take her into bed with you.

I would suggest that you need to teach her to fall asleep alone, without you there by her side. It isn't an easy thing to do but if you stick with Controlled Crying and are absolutely consistent, you'll break this habit by night three. Your DD will then be happy to be put down in her cot alone and awake, and will have learned to fall asleep. Therefore, when she stirs, or wakes, she'll know how to get herself back to sleep.

www.amazon.co.uk/Solve-Your-Childs-Sleep-Problems/dp/0091948096/ref=sr_1_1?s=gateway&keywords=ferber+sleep+book&tag=mumsnetforu03-21&qid=1562083415&sr=8-1

This book will tell you all you need to know about sleep training.

@avocadooo

Gastro-enteritis
How absolutely miserable, and in this heat, too.

You need to keep well-hydrated. If you're not already doing so, drink plenty of dioralyte (re-hydrating sachets).

As you have HG you probably have some tablets lying about for the nausea. I would take them. If you've run out, get a phone consultation with your GP and ask for another prescription.

Your midwife doesn't sound much cop. Is there any way you can ask for another one? (It should be possible.)

I hope you feel better soon.

@Jemima232
Hi Op. So glad I found this thread. I gave birth to my daughter 5 days ago and we are attempting breastfeeding. However my milk hasn't come in yet and she has lost 10.9% of her birth weight. Apart from skin to skin is there anything else I can do to get my milk to come in? I lost almost 1L of blood at birth. I just want to succeed in this and don't see the light at the end of the tunnel at the moment. Thanks in advance x

@Jemima232

Ok this this will be a weird one...

I'm 38+1 and a month ago, I stupidly had a cosmetic procedure done on my face. Something went wrong, either the procedure or the healing, and I've been left with a scar on my nose. In some mirrors I can't even see it, but in others it's like a big indentation, or a patch of white :(

My due date is rapidly approaching and I've convinced myself that the midwives are going to be wondering wtf has happened to my face, and be thinking what a shame it is that I could have been a nice looking woman but have been "ruined" by this, and that they'll just be staring at me in horror rather than delivering the baby!!

Views?

PS I know this sounds extremely self absorbed, but my anxiety has been sky high throughout this pregnancy, and I was brought up being told I'm disgusting etc!

Hi! After a very traumatic birth my son and I are finally home and both well 😃

I would love to thank the two midwives who looked after me, the theatre staff and nurses on the ward.

I was thinking of writing a card to each midwife, one for the theatre staff and one for the ward. It's awful as I was so out of it I never got the chance to thank the theatre team for saving me and baby.

I was also going to get the midwives a gift card each? Probably for the Costa on site at the hospital or can you think of something better? And maybe a voucher for the theatre team for a local takeaway? Is that a good idea? Or would just sweets etc be easier for them?

I know a card is always nice to receive but they really did save us and I would like to send a gift too.

I'm probably overthinking it but I am so grateful and would love to thank them in some way :-)

Thank you!!!

@mrshadders

Breastfeeding

Have confidence in yourself. Losing 10.9% of her birthweight is (almost) within normal parameters.

Feed frequently.

DO NOT EXPRESS YOUR MILK

Give your baby five minutes a side. Swap sides this often.

Do not have a pile of visitors. Chuck them out if they are there, taking up your time. Get your DH to put a sign on your Front Door - New Mother and Baby - Need Rest - No Visitors by Order of the Midwife.

Get in touch with a local lactation consultant and ask her to come round. You need positive encouragement.

Don't let them weigh your baby before feeds. Make sure you've just fed the baby before you let anyone weigh them.

Believe in yourself. Your milk supply will gradually increase.

Have a breastfeeding sit-in. Do NOTHING other than feed your baby. No housework/cooking/tidying.

Sleep as much as you can. Eat and drink lots. I remember my HV telling me that your body will make breastmilk out of anything (and it's true) so eat what you like.

Get in touch with another successful breastfeeding mother.

If your baby's weight continues to drop (and I don't think it will) come back to the thread. You can PM if you prefer.

In all my years of breastfeeding counselling I have only met two women who actually didn't produce enough milk.

Two.

@BirthdayKake

Nobody but you will be noticing the blemish on your nose, I can assure you.

I actually have a similar issue. I had skin cancer removed from my nose and a small skin graft. I always think it looks awful but it's gradually becoming less obvious. Yours will, too.

@Jemima232

Your response has almost made me cry! I am so sorry you have similar and that yours is from a much more serious reason. But rather selfishly I'm glad I'm not the only one, and that you can relate. Thank you so much xx

@Jemima232 hi OP again! Another question if I may? I know you're not supposed to sleep on your back in pregnancy, but Is that just completely flat? I sometimes get uncomfortable on my side and lie on my back, but propped up on loads of pillows. Or I stretch out on the sofa or in the bath - but never flat, always with my head up and my back on a bit of an incline. What is acceptable and what is dangerous? I'm plus size so not sure if that makes it even more dangerous?

Just wondering how everyone baths if they can't lie back?