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AMA
Original poster

I'm in an interracial, age-gap relationship - AMA

42 replies

Dreamzcancometrue · 21/04/2019 18:47

I'll try to respond to anyone who is genuinely interested. I apologise in advance for any grammatical mistakes in my responses.

OP posts:
Barbarafromblackpool · 21/04/2019 18:51

How big is the age gap and how old are both of you?

Original poster
Dreamzcancometrue · 21/04/2019 18:57

How big is the age gap and how old are both of you?

I'm 28 and he is 46 so an 18 year gap.

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Italiangreyhound · 22/04/2019 01:10

Dreamzcancometrue interesting, I am just watching the USA series of Bride and Prejudice. There are no age gap couples in the series but there is an interracial couple, ethnicity division or whatever is the correct term. A black woman and a white man.

Would you be able to say roughly what the ethnicity difference is. Please do not be too clear as it may be 'outing'! And also, does the age gap or interracial aspect cause any issues, or do neither cause any issues?

I hope not but I guess there may be some. Thanks

Barbarafromblackpool · 22/04/2019 06:54

Are you married?

Ullupullu · 22/04/2019 06:57

Do you have kids?

amandacarnet · 22/04/2019 06:57

How long have you been together?
And the interracial aspect - are you from very different cultures? That I think can be a real issue, inter racial fearless so unless your friends or family are racist.

Original poster
Dreamzcancometrue · 22/04/2019 10:00

Would you be able to say roughly what the ethnicity difference is. Please do not be too clear as it may be 'outing'! And also, does the age gap or interracial aspect cause any issues, or do neither cause any issues?

I am a black woman and my boyfriend is a white man.

I asked my Boyfriend to answer the second part of your question, as it is about us both and he said - I don't think our differences cause a single issue for us. It might to some other couple in our position, eg if there are big cultural differences or if one is interested in young person type activities and the other isn't. But luckily i act young for my age! And i have plenty of energy lol.
The only issues that we (you much more than me) worry about are possible negative reactions from others.

I hope this answers your question!!

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Original poster
Dreamzcancometrue · 22/04/2019 10:02

Are you married?

No we are not married.

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Original poster
Dreamzcancometrue · 22/04/2019 10:05

Do you have kids?

I have a 6 week old daughter (which isn't his) and he has two kids aged 12 and 15 from his previous marriage.

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Original poster
Dreamzcancometrue · 22/04/2019 12:26

How long have you been together?
And the interracial aspect - are you from very different cultures?

6 months we have been dating, knowing that isn't a long amount of time. We do speak every day and see each other as often as possible.

Culturally I am British born and so is he, the only difference is my roots are from else where.

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Opheliasgoldenwine · 22/04/2019 12:30

How long have you been together if you have a six week old baby that's not his?

memaymamo · 22/04/2019 12:33

How did you meet?

Opheliasgoldenwine · 22/04/2019 12:33

Sorry x post

BelulahBlanca · 22/04/2019 12:37

I was also in an inter racial relationship with an 18 year age gap- didn’t realise it was particularly interesting or unusual.

BlackPrism · 22/04/2019 12:52

If you've been seeing each other 6 months, but you have a 6 week old who is not his what on Earth happened there? Is he unable to have children? Were you not exclusive until very recently?

I hardly think a relationship less than a month and a half along can comment on the experience of age gap love... you barely know each other 🙄

BlackPrism · 22/04/2019 12:53

Ah, just realised you must have met when you were already pregnant.... doh!

Original poster
Dreamzcancometrue · 22/04/2019 13:35

How did you meet?

We met on the meetup app whilst I was pregnant. He messaged me thinking I was someone he knew already but hr then realised I wasn't that person so we struck up conversation and the rest is history.

Those wondering how we've been together for 6 months and the baby isn't his - reason being I slept with my ex bf once in June last year and I ended up pregnant from that one encounter. I met my new bf when I was already pregnant and told him how it was and he has accepted me and my newborn baby - He says he will help me raise my daughter..

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leatherflamingle · 22/04/2019 13:45

I wonder how much of a network and support you have beyond your partner?
How is your relationship with say, your parents?
How is your partners relationship with his own children? Are you financially independent?

leatherflamingle · 22/04/2019 13:48

Also I have another question .
Why did he ‘think you were someone he knew already?’ And if he knew them already , have you met the person in question that he thought was you?

TanteRose · 22/04/2019 13:49

Ohhh me too!
I'm white british, my DH is Japanese - he's 12 years older Smile
We've been together for 28 years - 2 grownup kids
We find that differences are really more to do with our personalities rather than our nationality or age

Original poster
Dreamzcancometrue · 22/04/2019 14:08

Why did he ‘think you were someone he knew already?’ And if he knew them already , have you met the person in question that he thought was you?

It wasn't someone he actually knew he told me that my face had looked familiar and he vaguely connected me with someone he met briefly once before and never had any further contact with.

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leatherflamingle · 22/04/2019 14:11

Hmmmmm
Did your profile state your age?
Or that you were pregnant?
I’m going to be honest.
I think he sounds a bit predatory.

Original poster
Dreamzcancometrue · 22/04/2019 14:20

I wonder how much of a network and support you have beyond your partner?
How is your relationship with say, your parents?
How is your partners relationship with his own children? Are you financially independent?

I get on quite well with my mum, she helped me out a lot with my baby, and i also have two brothers that I'm close too. I've got friends around me as well.
My partner has two school age children. They live mainly with their mum but he sees them three times a week at his house. He gets on fine with them and isn't really looking for a full time stepmother as he's a hands-on dad and anyway they already have their mum.
I am financially independent and so is my partner. Neither of us needs to subsidise the other one, though long term we'll probably both benefit from being able to pool our resouces.

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Original poster
Dreamzcancometrue · 22/04/2019 14:27

Ohhh me too!
I'm white british, my DH is Japanese - he's 12 years older smile
We've been together for 28 years - 2 grownup kids
We find that differences are really more to do with our personalities rather than our nationality or age

That's nice. I love seeing different types of people get together, it's one way to kick out racism.. But anyways its about the person inside not what age they are or how they look and my man treats me really well better than anyone I've been with in the past. All in all I see a long happy future with this person.

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Original poster
Dreamzcancometrue · 22/04/2019 15:37

Hmmmmm
Did your profile state your age?
Or that you were pregnant?
I’m going to be honest.
I think he sounds a bit predatory.

He wasn't deliberately looking for a young girl to prey on! It was just that we got on so well chatting, then it developed naturally.

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