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AMA
Original poster

My DP is 26 years older than me AMA

98 replies

GidgetGirl · 14/04/2019 12:26

What it says up there. We’ve been together about 4 years.

OP posts:
NobodysBlackerThanMe · 14/04/2019 12:29

How did you meet?

Ellalovescake · 14/04/2019 12:30

What things do you like to do together? I split with my long term partner at the end of last year and he was 29 years older than me and that was always what people asked me when they found out our age difference!

Hoosey · 14/04/2019 12:30

Do you worry about the age gap becoming more problematic as your DP ages? Do you get negative reactions from people you know and people you don’t know?

Fairenuff · 14/04/2019 12:34

How old were you when you got together?

sittingonacornflake · 14/04/2019 12:36

How old are you both?

Original poster
GidgetGirl · 14/04/2019 12:37

How we met is a tricky one to answer without revealing too much. Basically I became aware of him and fancied him from afar, so I got in touch and started being a bit flirty. Thought a brief fling might emerge from it, but it didn’t even cross my mind that we’d be living together four years later.

OP posts:
Original poster
GidgetGirl · 14/04/2019 12:41

We don’t have any particular hobbies together, but we love the same kind of socialising. Pub and music based, with mutual friends of all ages. Lots of outdoorsy stuff too.

OP posts:
ahtellthee · 14/04/2019 12:41

How old are you both now?

Do you have/want a family?

Does it worry you that if the future lasts, you will be his carer?

ahtellthee · 14/04/2019 12:42

When you say you noticed him, did he have a partner or a family already?

MissLucyHoneychurch · 14/04/2019 12:42

How old are you? Do you have children or plan to?

MissLucyHoneychurch · 14/04/2019 12:43

X post with alltellthee!

Original poster
GidgetGirl · 14/04/2019 12:48

I’m quite an in-the-moment person (perhaps too much), so I very rarely worry about the future in terms of any decline in health with age. He’s generally fit and healthy now..

As for negative reactions - sometimes. My friends wee always totally fine and unsurprised because I’ve always preferred older men, but my mother was quite standoffish at first. She likes him now so it’s all fine my end.

On his end, his 3 kids (the eldest of which is about 8 years younger than me) had mixed reactions. The youngest (mid-teens) was generally fine, but the older two were horrified at first. Understandable.. They wouldn’t even consent to meet me for about 18 months. Once they did they realised I wasn’t some weird piece of fluff and we get on pretty well now.

Reactions from strangers I rarely notice. If people do object to it, it tends to be women of around DP’s age, but once they get to know me (and see us as a couple) they’re totally fine with it. The only on-going bad reaction is from his ex, but that’s another story.

OP posts:
Sarcelle · 14/04/2019 12:51

Your age?

ahtellthee · 14/04/2019 12:53

So was he married when you started flirting?

Fairenuff · 14/04/2019 12:55

How old are you?

TheweewitchRoz · 14/04/2019 12:55

Do you not feel odd dating someone old enough to be your dad? Do you understand that people might view it as a bit yuck or see him as a dirty or sad old man?

Billy02 · 14/04/2019 12:56

Do you have plans for a retirement together?
I have a family member widowed at 60, her dh was 79 and she had all sorts planned for the next 10 years. I'm not sure how long she expected him to live for.
Are you realistic that you know you'll probably be a young widow.

Original poster
GidgetGirl · 14/04/2019 12:56

He’s 60 and I’m 34.

I’ve never wanted kids and he’s had the snip, so it’s a good job.

He was in a very complicated situation when I first noticed him, which I didn’t know about. Had split up with his ex a couple of years before and lived totally separately, but they continued to sleep with each other on occasion every few weeks. He was using her as a reliable shag when there was nothing else on offer TBH, which is shit and I always told him it was shit. She’s got quite a few issues (alcohol being the main one), and went crazy when he met me and stopped seeing her. I mean got-herself-arrested crazy. It was all a bit middle class Jeremy Kyle. Anyway generally it’s all totally fine and calmed down now.

OP posts:
YippeeKayakOtherBuckets · 14/04/2019 12:56

Is he rich and famous?

OldAndWornOut · 14/04/2019 12:59

Do either of you ever get insecure about, for example, you meeting someone younger or him wanting an older partner at some point?

Snooper22 · 14/04/2019 13:00

My partner is 57 and I am 40, he has 2 grown kids and so do I. We've been together 5 years and very happy. It can work xx

Original poster
GidgetGirl · 14/04/2019 13:00

Do I feel odd dating someone old enough to be my dad? Not at all. I understand the yuk feelings that some people might have, but in purely sexual terms I LOVE the age gap. I find it a huge turn on. I couldn’t contemplate sleeping with anyone younger than myself, or even around the same age. I have absolutely nothing against anyone else doing it, but the thought of doing it myself actually turns my stomach slightly. I realise how odd that sounds..

OP posts:
Original poster
GidgetGirl · 14/04/2019 13:02

He’s not rich (I wish!) and he’s tight as a gnat’s arse. So at least I can say I’m definitely not in it for the money.

OP posts:
VampireSlayer19 · 14/04/2019 13:03

If your happy and realistic about the future I don’t see a problem.

Fairenuff · 14/04/2019 13:03

I know you said you don't think about the future so are you not expecting to stay with him into his old age?