I'm a traveller- AMA

[Pinkyyy]

I was actually asked on another post to start this thread, I've been debating the idea for a while but usually decide not to because I've seen threads like this turn sour before. Hopefully I can avoid that and actually provide information and educate people on a way of life they may well know very little about.

I invite you to ask any questions you may have, and I will do my best to answer them all honestly. I ask that you don't bother to comment if you're going to bombard me with racism and ignorance. If you'd like to question a common stereotype, by all means go ahead but I will not respond to those who are simply here to be hateful. I also hope you'll respect that I don't like to share too much of my personal details on here, so I'm aiming more to speak about travellers as a a whole and not so much about me personally.

So.... AMA

....or even a brain surgeon!.....

@Mishappening I don't necessarily agree with what she said about them leaving school to learn the travellers' ways. This is something you learn right from the day you are born and are brought up with, so I can't see that it would be a reason for leaving school.
Not wanting their children to be around the drugs etc is definitely a large factor, so is not wanting them to receive sex education. It's a shame that the support you mentioned isn't more common because with that type of help, there would probably be a rise in travellers staying in school longer.
I think the education issue is one of the largest cultural differences between travellers and non-travellers and I don't think either side are wrong in their views. It would be wonderful to see the culture represented in some way in schools, but I think this is very unlikely to happen in all honesty.

@pinkyyy I’ve enjoyed this thread so much. Thank you.

I totally agree educational attainment isn’t everything, and for some people learning a trade is much more beneficial than staying in school.

Would travellers get a will written up by a solicitor? Would you/do you work in a regular PAYE job or cash in hand? The money side of things is so interesting, I think the impression is the travellers only work cash jobs to avoid tax. What does your budget look like? Do you think you spend less on food or travel etc than the average? How many kids do you have? (Nosey cow, sorry!)

I live in very working class/impoverished part of wales and see so many parallels between travellers and scrubbers like myself

Do you think the flash cars the modern version of horses?

@pinkyyy I’m sorry my last comment might have come off as insulting. I’m making fun of my own background not yours/travellers.

I have worked with a lot of traveller children in my area as I work in a primary school. I definitely agree that they seem very grown up. Self-sufficient and confident, particularly the boys. All have been polite and most enjoyed learning and tried hard. They tended to have hobbies like boxing etc outside of school.

Some of the traveller mums couldn’t read so had to come in and ask about letters containing important information. A few have been very protective/ anxious too, especially over younger children, but you also get this with non-traveller parents.

This thread has been very interesting. It’s a glimpse into another way of life.

@Villanellesproudmum The difficulty with tracing records in Ireland is that virtually all parish records were lost in a fire in Dublin in 1922...whole histories of parishes wiped out. It's a shame and terribly frustrating for anyone looking to trace family.

@RedrumMurder thank you, it's not usually necessary to get a will written up by a solicitor but some people may well do. I work a PAYE job, not a cash one. I like to work because I enjoy it, not because we need the income. My DH is a very high earner so we travel a lot (holidays not travelling in caravan). I'm not sure cars are seen as a modern day version of horses, just something people like to own.

@conversationdiva I'm glad they come across that way, upon leaving primary school boys would be expected to start working within the next couple of years alongside their dads so this would explain why they seem more grown up. Not being able to read and write is now becoming less common, though the standards of some people's literacy varies with lots of people not being great at spelling

I live near a traveller site (and we don't have any antisocial behavior issues, for the record), and there's a very well used laundrette nearby. Judging by the cars outside (sorry), I guess that it's pretty well used by the travelling community - the site is a settled site, with people living in a mix of trailers and bungalows. Would travellers have washing machines in their homes/trailers? If not, why not? Given how much some of the cars cost, those families could certainly afford a washing machine, so I don't think it's an economic issue.

@pinkyyy thanks, sorry for being nosey. It’s so interesting to have someone speak openly about your culture.

Are you worried about this thread? Eg. If you were found out would you get in an arguement?

Where do you think the community as whole will be in 100 years? Will most be settled in brick homes? Will your kids/grandkids consider themselves traveller do you think?

@SheepyFun some will have their own washing machines and for some it's a case of not having enough space. They could easily afford one but it would take up a lot of their space so they choose to use a launderette

Thanks for the thread Pinkyyy.

So are all the travellers with "Irish" sounding accents, Irish travellers, or are you saying that Romany have a similar sounding accent?

There's a permanent site near me and they all have the "Irish" traveller accent, so I wondered!

@BowiesJumper you're welcome! All travellers don't have an Irish accent, but this is the closest accent I can really compare it to. It has a similar sound but depending on where in the country you are from, it tends to be a sort of mixture of the Irish traveller accent you can probably recognise, and the accent of the region in which they live.

Pinkyyy - at what age did you leave school and where you encouraged to stay or leave school before 16?

One of my in-laws is a settled traveller she's lovely her whole family is. Her house is much cleaner and her kids much better behaved then my own. If anything happens to myself and DH whilst DC are still young she would be guardian.

She does still experience racism despite us being from an area with a lot of traveler families and no problems. My nieces christening venue was cancelled after they found out her background it went ahead somewhere else, no trouble and no damage. The school's headteacher once told her all her "type" were the same.

Things like that shouldn't be allowed to happen and I'm sorry you have experienced it.

The difficulty with tracing records in Ireland is that virtually all parish records were lost in a fire in Dublin in 1922...whole histories of parishes wiped out. It's a shame and terribly frustrating for anyone looking to trace family.

It was mostly civil records that were destroyed in the Four Courts, not church ones (and certainly not Catholic Church ones).

The NLI has digitised parish registers up to about 1880, freely available.

TCD are also digitally recreating the old Public Record Office, at www.beyond2022.ie

@zzzzz what you said is exactly right. In terms of the 'inspections', I'm not even sure these still take place, but they used to. Someone would come out probably once a year (if they turned up, they often didn't bother) to check whether any work was being completed. It was never looked at closely or analyzed, it felt very pointless at the time.

@Jens303 I left when I was 12/13, I wasn't encouraged either way but felt I no longer wanted to stay in school

@Pandamodium sadly venues cancelling if extremely common if they find out that a party being held is for travellers, it's especially sad when it's days before a wedding. That was such a nasty, racist comment and I can't believe a headteacher of a school could be so openly discriminatory. Thank you for being supportive

Apologies if asked already, but why are men not present at births? < genuinely curious!

Im loving this thread BTW, it's taught me a few things!

I have a question and apologies if this is my misunderstanding - the impression I have is that travellers generally marry very young. What happens if a woman doesn't meet anyone to marry? I had an aunt who never married and lived on her own into her 90s but I'm guessing that wouldn't be seen as appropriate?

@Omzlas it's just a huge no-no, it's basically women only allowed to be present. Glad you're enjoying it!

@INeedAWittyNameChange they usually do marry quite young, although it's now becoming normal to wait slightly longer. If a woman never marries then she will just live with her parents, possibly until they die, then live alone. It's not really unheard of but it's not very common

@zzzzz do you mean breastfeed? If so then, no not usually. Yes large families are pretty common. Birth control isn't really discussed (other than by the couple themselves) but can be used. There are travellers all over the world and there are some similarities but also quite a few differences, though I'm no expert on this

@zzzzz majority tend to bottle fees as far as I'm aware. People are incredibly happy when someone falls pregnant (though we wouldn't say the word pregnant, we would use 'expecting' instead) but the details of the pregnancy are only ever discussed around other women, not in front of men. They don't get any special treatment as far as I'm aware, but I have noticed that non-travellers expect not to have visitors for a while afterwards, when we expect visitors within the first few days. Periods once again, are only discussed by women and also would be described using other terms

In what way are you still part of the traveller way of life and community? Apart from your ethnicity being Romany, I mean.