I'm a traveller- AMA

[Pinkyyy]

I was actually asked on another post to start this thread, I've been debating the idea for a while but usually decide not to because I've seen threads like this turn sour before. Hopefully I can avoid that and actually provide information and educate people on a way of life they may well know very little about.

I invite you to ask any questions you may have, and I will do my best to answer them all honestly. I ask that you don't bother to comment if you're going to bombard me with racism and ignorance. If you'd like to question a common stereotype, by all means go ahead but I will not respond to those who are simply here to be hateful. I also hope you'll respect that I don't like to share too much of my personal details on here, so I'm aiming more to speak about travellers as a a whole and not so much about me personally.

So.... AMA

I sat up when both Mum and Dad died, it wasn't a custom or anything I just felt like it.
This thread is showing quite a few similarities to my own views and experiences, it's kind of freaking me out, none of it has been done consciously. My dh reckons there is a side to me that doesn't add up from my upbringing

One tradition I have read is the burning of The Vardo and all the deceased belongings.
My family are quite traditional and I haven't heard that they still do it, though.
I know my family have several huge plots for graves, they are said to own half the cemetery and you can see the huge stones from the gates.

Pinkyyy
Haven't forgotten you, I will get on with it soon x

@Pinkyponkcustard perhaps that isn't just a traveller thing then, I do think it's a wonderful tradition.

@RomanyRoots perhaps somehow things are just ingrained in us, that would explain why you find so many similarities, without having been brought up in it. The burning is not as common, but still happens quite often, my family still do it. Families usually try to buy a few plots in the cemetery so they are able to bury family close to each other, and like you say they will buy large gravestones.
No rush at all, don't worry! X

Hope I didn't offend with my question.

@AhhhHereItGoes I can't remember which one it was, but I'm more than sure you didn't!

@Pinkyyy there is a series called Nomads in BBC 4 currently. They will feature The Romany Gypsy community in the UK. Might be interesting for you to try to catch that.

Thank you for this thread.

@OVienna thank you very much for the heads up, I'll definitely try and catch it, you're very welcome!

@@Pinkyyy it was about Brexit. Maybe you missed it by mistake just wanted to check you weren't offended.

@AhhhHereItGoes I do apologise, I must have somehow missed it, but will answer it now for you!

Some travellers do indeed register to vote and most recently there was a large increase in votes from the travelling community, to support Brexit. There is certainly no rule against voting, but many people don't know/care enough about politics to actually use their vote. I have never been very knowledgeable about politics and have recently been trying to educate myself on it as much as possible, especially with Brexit as I had no idea (and admittedly, still know very little) about the effect it will have on us as a country

That's okay @Pinkyyy I'm glad more people in the traveller community are voting as it's also their country too and they care what happens in it. :)

www.smithsonianmag.com/smart-news/new-archive-roma-narrative-180971368/

@Pinkyyy

Wow thank you for that link @OVienna how amazing!

How old are you?

@peachypetite I'm in my 30s

Me and my OH we’re just talking about living a nomadic lifestyle, so I’m glad I found this post. How do travellers earn money whilst on the road? Do you need to know a trade? Does a mobile home/caravan cost a lot to run? Would the travelling community interact with people who aren’t a traveller by birth?

Sorry for all the questions, I just admire the travelling community so much and their way of life!

Pinkyyy thanks so much for this thread it's one of the best AMAs I've read. It stands out that your a lot of your traditions are probably how most gorjas used to live too in days gone by. I'm not refering to the travelling but the things like women only to attend childbirth or the traditional roles of men and women. I also think we could also take and learn from the way families support each other more in your communities.
I have loved your patience in answering so many different questions and I think you'd make a wonderful spokesperson for the traveller community.

@Historydweeb so sorry, I didn't see your comment. Thank you so much that's extremely kind of you. Haha I'm not too sure about being a spokesperson but I tried my best with this thread at least!

Whoops, sorry to you too @Lunacake

Usually when on the road, the men will earn money by doing a trade- landscaping, driveways etc. The homes are very cheap to run, but this varies on the season as more gas is needed in the winter. Travellers definitely interact with people from different cultures on a daily basis, I'm not sure it would even be possible not to!

General comment and a question

• in the 1970’s my dad had someone knock on his door and offer to tarmac his drive- he is pretty sure they were travellers - to this day he still raves about the quality of their workmanship- he is very picky and often calls people back to redo bits of work- he says no-one else has ever come close to their work

Question- if a woman stopped me in the Bull Ring and in an accent that sounded Irish and sold me lucky heather- is she likely to be a genuine gypsy as she claimed- she told me if I bought it I would have good luck by a certain date and gave me a crystal to keep in my purse. Something amazing did happen when she said. I still have the crystal and the heather

Thanks for the thread, it’s great. There was a poster quite some time ago who spoke of being humiliated by a teacher at a young age because she was a traveller - it was upsetting to read. This thread made me think of her.

@Nishky of course the quality of the work completely depends on the individual, but these days people take pride in their work as their reputation and online feedback counts for a lot. I'm glad he had such a good service!

Selling lucky heather and crystals is very very uncommon now and I would imagine that if someone is doing it, they'd have learned from a long line of women doing the same. My bet is she was genuine.

It's so sad to see children recieving the backlash for things completely unrelated to them. I like to think that teachers now are much more accepting than they were years ago and quite a few (some on this thread actually) really go out of their way to help.

I grew up in the 70’s and whilst we do still have a long way to go in many areas I can see that we are a more tolerant society in many ways.

This has been a really interesting thread, I've got a couple of questions if you don't mind answering them.

You say that men don't attend for childbirth, is it ok for males to attend during childbirth? Male obstetricians, paediatricians etc? How hands on are most male travellers with childcare etc?

Thanks @AngelOfDeathNix I don't mind at all.

Yes that's correct. Usually we would object to there being any males at all in the room and would ask that we are only assisted by female staff. Of course sometimes there are emergencies and in those instances, that rule will not be more important than the life of the mother or the baby.

Father's are not usually very hands-on, but obviously this varies in each family. They love and adore their children, but the mother is the one who does the vast majority of the work in terms of feeding, changing and nursing.

Romany and Irish travellers are very different I think but perhaps I'm misinformed.

What an interesting thread.
Thank you!

What if a non-traveller woman really liked the idea of the lifestyle, and hoped to marry into it? Would she be looked down upon for having already received a formal education and worked? Would traveller met be uncomfortable with a woman who had more education than him?

(Hypothetical: I am happily married, but I can't think of anything nicer than devoting myself to my family and home, and keeping house. Reading this thread, I feel like I might have gypsy values but be stuck on the outside!!) How would a woman wanting to "marry in" even find a traveller man?