I'm a traveller- AMA

[Pinkyyy]

I was actually asked on another post to start this thread, I've been debating the idea for a while but usually decide not to because I've seen threads like this turn sour before. Hopefully I can avoid that and actually provide information and educate people on a way of life they may well know very little about.

I invite you to ask any questions you may have, and I will do my best to answer them all honestly. I ask that you don't bother to comment if you're going to bombard me with racism and ignorance. If you'd like to question a common stereotype, by all means go ahead but I will not respond to those who are simply here to be hateful. I also hope you'll respect that I don't like to share too much of my personal details on here, so I'm aiming more to speak about travellers as a a whole and not so much about me personally.

So.... AMA

@Pinkyyy how does the community deal with mental health concerns ? Can you get access to anti depressants/ counselling / crisis management ? Is it a big problem ?

Her family and friends would help her and support her.

That’s good to know.

@Pinkyyy I love catching a glimpse of weddings coming out of churches to see the style, Midsummer Fair reminds me of that! 😄

@Schmoobarb I have not failed my own children. I don't think there's much point me further explaining it to you as I can't see us agreeing on this one so we may be best to agree to disagree

@windowWAG people are free to go to the doctor's and access medication as they please but I don't think many people do. I'm not sure I'm in a position to comment as everyone deals with things differently but families are extremely supportive of any health problems and I imagine this would extend to mental health

@ANutAsBigAsABoulder weddings are big events so we usually dress up quite fancy, I love looking at other people's outfits too

OP, I don’t know what his educational history is but one of the most inspirational primary headteachers i have ever met has a traveller background. And I’ve had great traveller colleagues.

But I’ve also suffered recently from the playground issue. What’s the answer? More portaloos, pending more sites?

Interesting thread thanks pinkyyy and well done (not meant condescendingly) to not rising to the barbs of some.

@Pinkyyy you said earlier that a traveller can always recognise another traveller. What signs do you look for? Is it the accent/ behaviour and/ or visual clues?

I am really enjoying reading this, op.

I had a client once who was a traveller, she was brilliant and I learned so much from her. One thing she mentioned is that her family were incredibly racist and had basically outcast her for dating a black man. Is that your experience?

But why oh why would you allow an eleven year old child to make the adult decision to stop going to school???

Why are the caravan bathrooms not used??

This thread has been fascinating!
I remember when I was little travellers came to the fields by where I lived.
They did this yearly or twice a year.
My friends and I used to get quite excited.
We made friends with a young boy.
Our parents used to moan about the travellers and would stop us playing with them.
We never came to any harm! The boy taught us how to make an amazing den!

A lesson for me was 'don't become an adult who discriminates and judges others, be that little girl who found a new friend.'

@OrlandaFuriosa how wonderful! I'm not actually sure I know the answer, all I can really say is that that way of life is dying out as it becomes more and more difficult to sustain and less appealing. Perhaps the issue will resolve itself

@myrtleWilson thank you, it's been difficult a couple of times

@conversationdiva I've never thought about this. The clothes/hair/make-up are a giveaway but in general you can just recognise other travellers. I wonder if it's the same for all races

@Grumpasaurus thank you, sadly yes that is quite true. Racism is quite common amongst older travellers, but less so with younger ones. I think they can be generally unkind about most races (not exclusively people of colour) and I see it as a retaliation due to them having been discriminated against themselves for so many years by other races. I'm glad that this is changing

@SusieQ5604 because we raise our children differently, by 11 a traveller child will often be a lot more grown up than a non-traveller one, that is not a judgement but more of an observation. They will at that age start learning life skills. The bathrooms are not used because ir is considered unhygienic

@MarilynSlumroe I'm glad you have found it interesting. I think because education plays such a huge part in non-traveller life, they sometimes really can't see how a person could be successful in life without it.

@Iputthescrewinthetuna thank you, that was such a beautiful way to learn an important life lesson

I really am so pleased that I was able to start this thread and that so many people have found it interesting. It has also been wonderful for me to hear about some of the great experiences many of you have had with the travelling community. Of course, I don't think we are by any means perfect, but then I don't think that can be said about any race.

@MarilynSlumroe that's interesting, I don't get it right every time either. I suppose it's just a case of people having a 'look' about them that you instantly recognise

Can I ask about inheritance and if belongings or your trailers are passed down through the family to children? I imagine space for travelling families is limited (although I know you said you had a house now).

@HumberElla inheritance is usually split between children and sometimes grandchildren. If they own any land or properties then the children will inherit these along with money. It's quite common for elderly people to promise belongings to family after they die, for example someone might say about an object they treasure "when I die I want you to have this".
Trailers are not usually passed down as it is tradition to burn a person's trailer when they die, if they don't still have a spouse etc who still live in it. If someone's husband dies and he is the sole breadwinner, leaving the family without an income then there are a few options too. Members of their family and community will help them with money, the son (if they have one) will support the family, or the family left behind will find work.

Great thread Pinkyyy Can I ask what happens when an older member of the family becomes unable to look after themselves e.g. if they develop dementia? Would they ever live in a nursing home, or do you care for them at home?

@RtHonLady thank you, they won't very often go into nursing homes as we see it as the job of the family to look after their elders. They will be looked after by their DC usually and will be moved to live with/closer to them

Another question... is there a traditional meal that you cook that someone who isn't of your race wouldn't? For example Americans make pumpkin pie, but I've never eaten it in the UK.

@RtHonLady there are quite a few traditional meals, most are quite simple but I don't think any are exclusive to travellers. A few of the most popular are meat pudding, boiled bacon and beef stew.

This is interesting OP, can I ask more on the class system. We have roots going back many generations to Irish travellers, I’ve done some research and not all births seemed to have been registered so after so many generations it thins out, only going back 100 years or so, story is someone married beneath them and they were banished and settled in England. Is this still an issue with today’s generations?

@Villanellesproudmum this one may be a bit tricky to explain. So what you described was probably the done thing back then, but doesn't happen in the modern day. Travellers like to marry into the same class (or above) and a lot of it comes down to the father's wanting the best for their daughters. Whilst a girl is at home she is seen as her father's responsibility and he will devote his life to giving her the very best he can. When she gets married she then goes under the care of her husband and a father would not want to see her quality of life worsen when she leaves. This makes it sound like she is a possession to be passed along, which isn't the case and that's why I'm struggling to explain it without making it sound terrible.

The education issue is interesting. I remember one Traveller lady vehemently defending that fact that her children are at home and not at school, saying that they are learning - "they are learning Travellers' ways." I could see what she was saying; and how some of the education in school might not seem of use to their way of life (as indeed to many gorja children), but the concern is that this limits children's choices - it may be that there is a Traveller lass who would like to be a brian surgeon.

The are also very concerned about negative influences in school (drugs etc. - a concern shared by many gorjas|) and also about how sex education is presented.

There are Traveller Education Services in many LAs and they work to help ensure that the children get help with their education. They also support Traveller children in school to make sure that their culture is represented - in the same way that black children now see their like in books and projects when at one time this was not the case.