@nicea
I had been with F1 for 5 & 1/2 years. It was during this relationship I got my SCI which he used against me, "you're lucky I'm staying with you etc, nobody else will want you now". He became slowly, steadily and cleverly more abusive, psychological at first. I fell pregnant by accident after having my implant changed when it expired. It escalated during the pregnancy to violence and I left when Ds was born. He was behind closed doors, jeckyl and Hyde type abuser but sly and everybody thought he was so nice. It was a horrible time. I did not feel guilty for leaving at all, I felt I was doing what was best for ds.
When it came to moving on it was far too soon. I was asked out on a date and didn't want to go, I felt too vulnerable but all my friends were saying to me go just for the night, treat yourself, you deserve a nice night, so I did. I didn't feel guilty for moving on but I didn't feel ready either.
I struggled as I wrestled that with a feeling of not wanting to feel damaged, I didn't want to end up bitter and unable to trust. I was desperate to trust somebody just so I could tell myself he hadn't destroyed me as a person or my ability to love and trust.
That date was with df2. He was charming, lovely, vibrant, educated, he had a good job, he didn't ring any alarm bells at all and was lovely to me. I introduced him to ds after about 8 months which was too soon. So yes I feel guilty for moving on too soon with him
He couldn't keep up the perfect man act for very long and just as I got pregnant he unraveled with problems he had apparently had all of his life. I chose to separate due to his issues which I don't feel guilty for. He had a multiple personality disorder which I had no idea about until then. He was an extremely dangerous individual and after I split with him and got ss involved and safeguarded appropriately he went to prison for assaulting me and breaching restraining orders. I can honestly say I did the best I could to protect us all.
Df3 I did feel massively hesitant with. I wasn't looking for a relationship, it was a case of bumping into him everywhere I went every day and us both wanting to spend more time together. I was very hesitant and I think it was a case of right person wrong time. We spent the first year just chatting and having a coffee here and there, catch ups, being friends and it went on from there, there was always something more I think but we weren't in any rush and he has been in a relationship where a woman has treated him badly before too so we're very respectful of each other. I don't feel guilty for moving on with him as it has only had massively beneficial impacts for all of us