I'm a germ hiding under the rim of your loo. Ask me anything

[roadrunner11]

I'm a germ hiding under the rim of your loo. Ask me anything.

Yeah the germs on the flush lever like to party hard. They end up getting washed down the basin with the hand washing on a regular basis so they party while they can

When I clean the bathroom this afternoon would you prefer I bleach the loo first and get it over and done with, or would you prefer me to leave the loo till last so you have to watch me clean around the bathroom killing all your germ friends?

Neither of those options please.

That option wasn't in my question. Bleach first or bleach last?

@roadrunner11 I don't believe that you're hiding under the rim of a Mumsnetter's loo since midnight.

Everyone knows that MNers would have Zoflora-d the life out of you in the intervening ten hours. No germ survives for ten hours in a MN house...

Speaking of which. Would you rather meet your death smelling of Fresh Linen or Springtime?

I don't want to be bleached though. I've heard it's awfully excruciating

Well under the rim I am. Perched up at an angle I hope gives me best hope of missing the bleach nozzle. I heard some germs downstairs being killed earlier but not the bathroom yet.

Why must you kill me? I'm doing no harm tucked up here

How do you feel about limescale? Friend or foe?

Oh my God treacle I was just about to ask the very same!

Limescale makes a good fallout shelter. None here though.

I'm so sorry that DS decided to lick the toilet seat with his horrible big tongue earlier. That must have been terrifying for you

Still not answered my question you're making me angry now germ

Yeah, that was a bizarre turn of events somebody

Feel like I'm being ganged upon now

Do you have any feelings about those rim block things? Do you ever get the desire to perch on the edge of the plastic cage thing as a metaphorical two fingers (assuming that as a germ you don't have actual fingers?) to the cleaning industry?

The advertisers are very keen to tell us that those plastic things are an out and out party zone for your lot.

Yeah the rim blocks are a good hideout. The ones that aren't antibacterial are however. I have 1000's of little fingers. It's how we cling onto the porcelain.

I get the feeling that the end is imminent for you now

(Leaves a pink bottle of domestos out in the thread)

Still lurking under the toilet rim

Do you prefer seat up or seat down a life in the dark.

Seat up.

What do you eat? Do you need to eat?

Getting too invested.

And how are you born? Do you remember being born?

I have no mouth so no need to eat. Mummy and Daddy germ multiplied and there was me and my million siblings.