I wear a niqab! AMA

[JamTea]

Hi everyone,

I am a regular MNer and NC'd for this :). As background, I have a successful career in tech, I am a Muslim and I wear niqab too. Since Boris's comments, I've seen quite a bit written on MN about burqa and niqab, and thought it may be useful to answer any questions people have in relation to niqab. I also know a large number of Muslim women and have lived in various Muslim communities, so can probably speak from my experience and relay other people's experiences too.

Just as a note: I don't know any women in the UK that wear burqa and I have never seen anyone wear a burqa in real life. The difference between niqab and burqa is illustrated here: cdn.images.express.co.uk/img/dynamic/1/590x/scarf-651554.jpg

AngelsAckiz You should to pop over to the Style and Beauty threads for a bra intervention! You shouldn't be in pain wearing one.

Why are people questioning my genuine. Do you know how hard for me it is to speak out against how I live my life. One side of me feels like a traitor and dis loyal and the other feels like I finally have a voice. I struggle with how people treat women within my religion/culture. I love my religion but a lot has been forced upon me so have my opinions and what I should as right or wrong . Yes I could get help but where would I go, not just my family who would shun me but a whole community

This thread is full of sweeping statements. Muslim women are as varied in their experience, lifestyle and opinions as any other group of women.

You cannot dismiss JamTea’s opinions because they don’t fit your stereotypical idea of conservative Islam. OP and Candy are different faces of the same coin. The oppressed woman is the familiar stereotype, but here it is interesting to hear from someone who has free choice.

lass I have full lips that's all. Maybe angelina jolie lips would be more accurate

@candysugar1

As I said upthread, I believe you.
I know this thread was started by the OP who is pro niqab, but it is important to hear both, or two of several sides of the argument.

I am not Muslim, so know very little about the religion but am very concerned about how it appears to strip women of rights.

Not trying to digress, but I have been watching the handmaid’s tale on channel 4 and the author Margaret Atwood has said that everything she has included in her book has happened to women in real life.
The series is more hard hitting because they are American women who have been stripped of their rights, so as western women we can relate more.

If @candysugar1 has found a voice, we should be supporting her.
OP, I find your tone towards her disparaging.
The OP is lucky that she has chosen of her own free will to wear the niqab, despite her family being against it, she has been allowed to continue with a full life.
This is the exact opposite of @candysugar1 ‘s experience where she is under social pressure, wear the niqab, not allowed to drive, had to secretly have an iud fitted to stop endlessly bearing girl children ( all from her previous posts up thread). Where is @candysugar1’s right to choose.

The same garment, the niqab, represents freedom (of choice) for one woman and is both physical and symbolic repression for another woman in the same religion.

I am interested in what JamTea would do if there were transgender women allowed into her indoor sports activities where she removes her niqab ie swimming?
I do follow feminist threads but don’t usually post before I get accused of having an agenda, I am merely interested in the views of a Muslim women regarding female only spaces, as there has been a lot of debate on this subject.

I am skeptical because CandySugar will not give the name of the school that is apparently in Birmingham and is forcing 5 year olds to wear niqab. I want to report this to Ofsted urgently so please provide it. If you don't want to place it here, DM me.

@candysugar1

Why did you de-register today and then re-register with a different account? Can you get Mumsnet HQ to verify please that you are the same person?

@PhilMitchellsBeard

I am interested in what JamTea would do if there were transgender women allowed into her indoor sports activities where she removes her niqab ie swimming? I would do nothing and would be more than fine with it, and would happily be friends.

@PurpleCrowbar

With regard to Candy stating that her dd at 5 would have to attend Islamic school and cover - I read this as a) she would be expected to attend a madrassa in addition to regular schooling & b) she would be expected, by family, to cover.

Candy specifically said her 5 year old would be forced to wear niqab , NOT hijab. I have never ever seen a 5 year old wearing a niqab, and if there is a school as she claims that gets 5 year old to wears niqab, I want to report it to Ofsted. So please give us the name and the media will be very interested in this school too no doubt. So spill the beans please ...

@PhilMitchellsBeard and welcome them too of course :)

There was a guest post on a similar subject 5 years ago, for anyone who is interested www.mumsnet.com/Talk/guest_posts/1883299-Why-I-wear-the-niqab

This thread is getting stranger and stranger, OP are you saying you cover up in front of all men except your nearest and dearest for your faith, but are happy to share a swimming pool with your face uncovered and wearing just a swimming costume with a person (who in most cases) has a penis?
(Have no axe to grind in either the burka or transgender arguments, it just seems very conflicting?)

I deleted my account as someone reminded me to delete my posts on here. I did not no how to do that so deleted account thinking I could reactivate but wouldn’t allow me too. So I came back as candysugar1.
Also I will not mention the school. If I do I will cause a massive witch hunt and probably cause myself to be exposed. Most Islamic schools require girls to cover the face and relax this only when inspectors come to visit. Jam you are being so pretentious here when you very well no this is what goes on.

@muttmad If someone says they are male or female or closely assign to one gender, I take that at face value. It is rude and none of my business what they are physically. I don't see what is strange about that.

Muttmad she means she can not mix with people who try to change their gender.

@candysugar1

You are anonymous on here. DM it to me and I will expose it - you don't have to do anything. In fact you could ask Mumsnet to delete all your posts (and this thread) and you could ask them to report it to Ofsted if you don't want to tell me. You are making it out like as if this really does happen and I am lying. I strongly believe you don't have the name because there isn't a school in the UK that makes 5 year olds wear niqab (the face covering). You said that so you could create uproar, not realising that such a statement is what is causing people to doubt the other sweeping statements you have made. I am not saying I doubt your experience, but I am saying is I don't believe everything you have said. And it doesn't seem like you want things to change, as you don't even anonymously want to out a school.

@candysugar1

Muttmad she means she can not mix with people who try to change their gender. Uou are digging yourself even deeper, so stop bull shitting. Of course I can and I will and I probably do already too. I don't go around asking people whether they've changed their gender or not.

@muttmad If someone says they are male or female or closely assign to one gender, I take that at face value. It is rude and none of my business what they are physically. I don't see what is strange about that

I assume muttmad is referring to a communal area where users of it are likely to be naked in front of other users. It therefore may be none of your business but is likely to be fairly obvious if one of the naked users has a penis. I understand that the majority of trans women do not have full surgery.

@candysugar1

If she came across a different faith member she would not converse with these people.

I have reported this post. What a load of crap! I have close friends from different faiths, forget just conversing. So stop making such crass assumptions about me - it is offensive.

@LassWiADelicateAi Honestly it still wouldn't matter to me. I don't personally use the public showers, I prefer the private ones.

JamTea thank you for answering, your view seems at odds with other women, Muslim and non-Muslim, re sharing their spaces with people with penises who have. Male appearance but identify as women - your tolerance is admirable.