I'm a radical unschooler AMA

[OutOfControlSpirals]

I'm a radical unschooling mum, which basically means I've taken the principals of unschooling, where a child is free to learn what they want, when they want, and applied it to every aspect of our lives. So my children have the same freedoms that I do when it comes to eating/sleeping/learning etc.

Hattie Your situation is different and I do understand that. My relative would eat other food with coaxing. But could not be left to make free choices.

I came on to this thread because I genuinely would like to know what “radical unschooling” is, I’d never heard of it before and I’m v interested in learning about alternative educational routes than the standard state school one (partly because I worry a lot about what the state school system is becoming and how it’s going to affect my DC.)

I would love to read responses from the OP to some of the very interesting questions that previous posters have asked, such as:

how do you deal with higher levels of subjects that you or DH may not be skilled in e.g. languages, maths, sciences? Or are you skilled in all these things so that doesn’t worry you? Do you pay for tutors?

How much do you share the time spent with your DC with your DH?
If this time is not shared equally, how do you model or ensure your DC learn about equality of roles in society?

Did you and your DH go through the state education system yourselves?

What made you decide to go down the radical unschooling route for your own DC?

Do you feel that radical unschooling is a choice for the rich or the highly educated or the privileged?

I’m sorry you’ve faced some insulting and aggressive posts on here OP, but I think a lot of us here are genuinely interested to hear what you have to say.
It is a controversial topic so will of course attract controversial questions - which surely lead to the most interesting discussions?

Scraping the barrel, turtle.

Unschooling is one style of home education. It's not a separate thing. There's a spectrum from radical unschooling to school at home with curricula. Most people are somewhere in the middle.

Romance - are you able to explain the difference between radical unschooling and “standard” home educating?

Radical unschooling is a philosophy and a holistic lifestyle. It says that children are naturally curious and if that curiosity is nourished (instead of squashed/burnt out/dies of boredom) then children will seek to learn. They may also learn whatever they like better because they feel ownership of their own education and are able to delve into topics according to their interest. Unschoolers usually use a 'strewing' method - putting lots of interesting resources and experiences in the children's environment for them to have interest sparked.
Sometimes unschooling families can look very schooly - if the children are interested they might choose a textbook/traditional resource. Sometimes unschooling families can look very different from schooly - especially when the kids choose to learn through more hands on tasks. I know a young teenage boy who chose to tackle algebra because he needed it to advance in his thriving metal work business.
The radical part takes this philosophy outside of just educational subjects but means the approach to family life and parenting is informed by this worldview.

I don't unschool myself, doesn't suit our family - we homeschool using a more classical pedagogy, but I have met some unschoolers that I greatly respect.

I’m sure there are plenty of alternative educating styles that work.

I think where the OP went wrong was posting on the AMA board, then ignoring most questions and only answering in depth to home schoolers.

And posting in a very faux-disingenuous style to anyone who didn’t think her lifestyle choices sounded challenging in any way.

Also the OP made remarks about other people's supposed parenting styles that were dismissive and not very helpful to any kind of discussion.

Fortunately the many posters were interested in and understanding of the choices the OP has made which encouraged debate

Don't want to hijack too much, sorry op!

cantseemtohaveitall
higher levels of subjects
In homeschooling, the parent isn't necessarily the only teacher. There is an absolute abundance of quality resources these days. There are some subjects that we learn together. Generally we find a tutor/mentor when we hit a ceiling. There are a surprising number of mentors within the homeschooling community. Online classes, private tutors, work experience/mentoring from professionals etc.

share time with dh
I'm not really sure how to answer this. Dh works shifts and would see the children much much less if they went to school. I am the main teacher though, primarily because I'm the one at home. It is a sacrifice, we do end up looking like rather traditional roles. We try to compensate (I believe successfully) in other areas, for example, there are no boy/girl subjects here, no peer pressure to conform. Pros and cons to everything! They see women and men in all sorts of societal roles, women as doctors, politicians; their world is not confined to our 4 walls.

Did you and your DH go through the state education system yourselves?
Yes we both did.

What made you decide to go down the homeschooling route for your own DC?
A lot of reasons that boil down to - we fell in love with the idea and decided it was worth a try. So far (8 years) so good!

Do you feel that radical unschooling is a choice for the rich or the highly educated or the privileged?
I don't, though I do understand why it looks that way. I know many homeschoolers who are not middle class. However, like anything, privilege certainly makes it more doable. In my experience, most of those homeschooling in really difficult circumstances are doing it because the system already failed them.

Hth!

As I've said, there is no standard form of home education. If you spoke to 10 different home educating families, you would find 10 different styles. As I said, it's a spectrum, with radical unschooling at one end, structured school at home with curricula at the other, and most of us somewhere in the middle. The whole point of home ed is that it can be tailored to what suits the child and the family. There is no standard method.

I do not believe the majority want jobs in the creative industry

FGS the majority of people are not working I thei dustry they want to work in.

I wanted to be a gardener but ended up in the financial sector. That is life sadly.

"Radical" unschooling is incredibly judgypants. Case in point: sandradodd.com/screwitup. If you want to know why lots of radical unschoolers are a bit prickly when questioned, see how the modern leaders of the radical US movement tear people to shreds when they, for example, ask a question on their forums like "My 3 year old is grumpy, she went to bed at 3am and has eaten 9 bags of M&Ms today for breakfast, should I make her take a nap and eat some healthier food?" It is heresy to question "the leaders", something a bit North Korean about it all.

"Still, there are enough radical unschoolers conveying a message of intolerance that it becomes offputting, especially to people who are interested in unschooling/homeschooling. What’s sad to me is that many people could really benefit from leaving school and homeschooling with a curriculum or not (a.k.a. unschooling). But I’ve heard stories of people almost scared away from the whole idea of homeschooling because they had negative experiences with radical unschoolers. And I’ve also met radical unschoolers who insist that the only real unschooler is a radical unschooler, and that you shouldn’t bother to homeschool unless you’re going to unschool."
eligerzon.com/blog/2012/05/radical-unschooling-the-negative-post/

FGS the majority of people are not working I thei dustry they want to work in

Well exactly. I wanted to be a ballerina and ended up in financial services . DH wanted to be a vet and also ended up in financial services!

Scraping the barrel, turtle.

You do realize anyone following the thread will see that you clearly missed my first post and are doubling down rather than admit you look silly?

@likesanimalpark thanks for sharing, that was a really interesting post.

I think a lot of people in this thread are conflating unschooling and hone education.

I’m quite interested in the idea of home ed, if I had the money and the patience I’d be tempted to try it with DS as I do think a vast amount of time at school is spent on crowd control instead of learning and bullying can make it a miserable environment. However, I’d want to follow a curriculum at least approximately. I think just following your interests with no broader background can mean that even if someone ends up working in their chosen field they ‘don’t know what they don’t know’ - there might be a much quicker or easier way to do something if only you knew about it. Imagine someone who loved plants and gardening learnt loads about plant biology, ecology, weather, soils etc but never did any maths, they could waste time measuring how long fences or borders were for example when knowing a couple of lengths and an angle might save them time if they’d learnt trigonometry. If they hadn’t ever been taught that they wouldn’t know it was a thing they could even apply.

That questionnaire was a bit odd. If they’re asking about employment fields shouldn’t they be asking about different fields? Such as creative/technical/caring/ manual skilled/manual unskilled/legal/scientific/medical/engineering?

They only have one category and that’s creative industries. I’d be interested to see how many such kids end up in numerate/technical/STEM type roles.

Hmmm I don't like a lot of school from my own experience and what I'm seeing with DS - the large classroom sizes for one. I was worried about him starting school as he does have some complex needs but he LOVES it! He is learning things I wouldn't even think about.

Everyone is indeed different - I struggled at school at the end due to problems from outside of school. Although I got gcses I dropped out of a levels. My biggest experience at starting education late is how expensive it is. Just something to consider, I couldn't (and can't) afford to do any further education after leaving school as it was too costly.

Tbh a lot of the things you do, I do - not the staying up/food/playing games for hours side of it but the extra activities, taking time to explain to them why saying something (I have never said "because I said so", I always explain even if it will go over his head), DS helps with food choices/shopping. If there is something extra special happening (like when there was a meteor shower) he could stay up late for that. If he gets really into a subject we encourage that outside of school. I don't see why all those positive things are anything that is special to home schooling or unschooling.

If he was unhappy at school I would look to change schools or indeed pull him out if that was the right thing to do. I'm not against HE but I don't see why the positive aspects of unschooling are not achievable with conventional parenting.

As an aside I've only known one unschooled adult (know a few children and they are sadly badly behaved), his parents were hippies. He rebelled in his teens by becoming incredibly conservative. His brother however became a drug addict. I'm not saying that to prove any kind of point, that is a single example not any kind pattern etc. Just to say that's my only experience so I can't comment on what happens as adults.

Just remember the point about cost of education as an adult.

Oh and I am curious - are your kids fully vaccinated?

Unschooling IS a form of home education - we're not conflating two separate things - it's one of the ways people choose to home educate. We're a home educating family. My children are unschooled.

CaughtinABadRomance
I am aware the Unschooling is one form (among many) of Home Education. However, as I’m sure you are aware, it is a subset not equivalent to the broader term of ‘home education’ which can include people following a set timetable and curriculum at home. I think there are several people on this thread using the terms interchangeably, i.e. conflating the two terms.

One child refused to brush or their hair for 2 years. I was fine with that. Their body, their choice. They didn't like washing it, but understood the smell wasn't appealing to others so asked me to help them find away to fix it without having to wash it. I did. When one of them was 4 they ate nothing but instant noodles every night for 6 months. Their body, their choice

Allowing children to go unwashed and teeth unbrushed for years is neglect. Allowing a 4 year old to eat nothing but instant noodles is neglect. Not teaching children anything they aren't interested in is neglect.

This is not a different parenting method, its abuse.

If you are letting a child smell, you are creating an unnecessary obstacle to their social development. They become "the smelly kid". If you don't guide them away from that pretty quickly, they remain "the smelly kid", that no one wants to hang out with. Doesn't sound like being fair to the children.

Allowing children to go unwashed and teeth unbrushed for years is neglect. Allowing a 4 year old to eat nothing but instant noodles is neglect. Not teaching children anything they aren't interested in is neglect

Good job that the OP did none of that then, isn't it?

FFS.