I'm a radical unschooler AMA

[OutOfControlSpirals]

I'm a radical unschooling mum, which basically means I've taken the principals of unschooling, where a child is free to learn what they want, when they want, and applied it to every aspect of our lives. So my children have the same freedoms that I do when it comes to eating/sleeping/learning etc.

Are you worried your kids won’t have much incentive to grow up if they have all the freedoms afforded adults already as children?

I love the idea of radical unschooling in theory but in practice my kids seem to need structure. When we do have free, unstructured time (which we do have as much of that I can manage), they seem to get cranky and fractious after a while. They’re always happy to go back to school / preschool.

I wanted to ask, when did you start radical unschooling? I can see it would work at the ages you have now but with a 2, 4 and 6 year old, how did it work when they all need so much attention at that age? And how did you enforce / encourage the basics with kids that age, hygiene, eating well, sleeping?

My aunt and uncle were/are also radical unschoolers. They have four children. The two oldest chose not to attend school or college and both now have first class degrees, one in aeronautical engineering and the other in something like sports therapy. Child 3 chose to attend college and is just about to begin his degree. Child 4 also chose to attend college and is doing A levels.

No question really, just wanted to offer a perspective (small sample I know!) of those out the other side. As far as I am aware all of my cousins taught themselves to read, later than they would have if they went to school - by age 11 I think.

I’m self employed and I know that self regulation and complete lack of routine can wear me down (just too much flexibility and decisions to make). Do you and your kids not find complete freedom exhausting sometimes? Do you have any kind of routine at all in your week?

Once a year I ask them to do an online assessment that is inline with the national curriculum
so how are they learning things like computer science, and maths and etc are you an expert in all of those things?
(i have never home schooled, so i have no idea how homeschoolers/freeschoolers manage to teach everything??)

I think you are very brave! Would want to do this for my kids if I could but its the energy! Where do you get the energy to give them so much of your time and input? I love my children beyond anything but I still dont think I could scrape together the energy to be their mother AND their teacher in life! It must take a lot of emotional energy surely?

How to you give your children the opportunities to form the deep and independent friendships they would have made at school?

What do you think are the downsides of your approach?

Both my children have benefitted from being taught by people with very different skills and interests from me. How do you ensure they have other adult influences in their lives that teach them the things you might be less good at?

School only takes up about 25% of a child’s waking hours in a year anyway, so they could do all the “unschooling” stuff and benefit from the social aspects of school. Mine probably learn at least as much at home as at school but they have formed glorious friendships and made some wonderful memories (school plays, trips, playtime, sports day) .

Why on earth would they not learn to read and write?!?? Children are innately curious, the millions of questions a small child asks each day shows that. Any child raised in an environment saturated with literature will learn to read. All of my children were motivated to write once they realised that if some thing it was written on the shopping list, I would buy it!

Will they take formal public exams when they are older - GCSEs and A levels?

I just want to say that I in no way think my approach is superior or that I am a better parent than someone following a more conventional approach. This is just what works for our family.

What would you do if one of your dc decided to do something like have only pizza or toast to eat? Indefinately? Does your 8 year old ever seriously ask to know about the present imperfect tense?

How do you earn money? Are the children limited in how much they ask for, or spend?

At what age were they allowed to make their own diet choices?

What will you do when the curriculum exceeds your teaching abilities? Do you just plan to skip certain parts of maths, science, economics for example?

No not at all, if anything it takes more work, I have to be present with my children and engage with them

Do you think those of us who don’t follow this approach aren’t present with, and engaging with our children?

If exams are something that they want to do, of course I would support that. One of my children is loves marine life and biology, and attends a science programme once a week run by a guy with a phd in biology. We value knowledge in our house, so its only natural the children seek it out

What sort of things have your children chosen to learn about?

How do you manage the conflicting demands of children wanting to do different things at the same time and both needing you?

Did you know other unschoolers before you chose this form of education for your children?

I home educate too, but in a semi structured way.

I can promise you 2 of my children would have never learnt to read or write of it wasn’t forced. They’d stay up all night. Play. Spend too much time on technology. Eat too much crap. Depends on the child .

Will you be teaching them how to spell principle?! A principal is the head of a school or similar. Sorry, couldn't resist that; naughty, naughty!

I actually have a huge amount of sympathy with home-schoolers of any ilk. School is an abnormal environment and can be hell for some children.

Do I think that those who don't follow this approach aren't present with, and engaging with your children? I'm not trying to start a fight. I'm really not. However, you can't deny that saying "because I said so" is a hell of a lot easier than taking the time to listen to your child, understand where rget are coming from, help them to identify their emotions, and work together to find a solution that works.

I don't expect anyone other than myself and their father to take the time to do that with them, and the children know this. Which is why when their sports coaches say "because I said so", they don't get bent out of shape, they understand that irs not the time or place for a discussion.

If your children were playing around in a supermarket - shouting, knocking into people, touching the food- would you reel them in or let them have complete freedom to have fun and explore.

User- how much of that technology would they be able to use without being able to read? I've met kids who were motivated to learn to read by this- they needed that skill to play games, message their friends etc.

Why would you assume that people that send their kids to school don’t slso listen to and angage with their children?

Good point never abd I don’t know the answer. But my youngest managed minecraft pretty well without it!

How do they learn Maths? Sciences? Especially anything advanced? Music?

Can you teach anything to a decent degree if you don't understand it yourself?