Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AMA
Original poster

I'm a radical unschooler AMA

999 replies

OutOfControlSpirals · 26/07/2018 15:22

I'm a radical unschooling mum, which basically means I've taken the principals of unschooling, where a child is free to learn what they want, when they want, and applied it to every aspect of our lives. So my children have the same freedoms that I do when it comes to eating/sleeping/learning etc.

OP posts:
Greenyogagirl · 26/07/2018 21:26

Of course not tabatha and as I’ve said before I don’t class myself as a radical unschooled but I do know people who radically unschool and the philosophies behind it.
There are also decent parents who say ‘brush your teeth because I say so/you have to’

Tabathatwitchett · 26/07/2018 21:26

They are measures of an education that can be backed up by data green which is what I asked for. It's hard to measure happiness, that's not to say I don't value it.

multivac · 26/07/2018 21:26

(That was the point from which I didn't take you terribly seriously, btw)

Greenyogagirl · 26/07/2018 21:29

If you actually met unschooled people you’d have more insight perhaps.
Is someone who is an artist worth less than a lawyer? Someone who is miserable earning 100k a better advocate for education than someone who is happy and earns 20k?

Tabathatwitchett · 26/07/2018 21:29

We are discussing education multi and my comment was pertinent to the conversation as 11 year olds had been mentioned (the fact that a 10 year old who had just started reading could, apparently, catch up with an 11 year old). My post was to explain that I didn't believe that to be so.

Beeperbird · 26/07/2018 21:29

Hi, really interested in this way of bringing up your children. Don’t think it’d be for us but DH and I have just talked through a couple of scenarios and one we got stuck on is bedtime and where they sleep?
For example, if one of your children fell asleep on a sofa or floor (particularly when little) do you move them to bed? Or leave where they are? If you leave them, what if you want to use that room whilst they are sleeping? I’m assuming continue to use the room and they then learn going to bed is better option?

multivac · 26/07/2018 21:29

Also, tabitha - you say you've worked in schools; are you a teacher?

DuckingMel · 26/07/2018 21:29

Green yoga: If you've ever experienced poverty, homelessness or simply surviving from month to month hoping that no appliances suddenly stop working, income levels do concern you. I hope DS gets a descent education and income. Education is important, because it's the only thing that universally opens doors to higher paid work (at least in STEM areas). Education is the one thing that can never be taken from you even if you become physically disabled or need to work until an advanced age +more and more common/likely).

multivac · 26/07/2018 21:31

My post was to explain that I didn't believe that to be so

And your evidence was a) neglible and b) boasty....

Tabathatwitchett · 26/07/2018 21:32

But again green, as I have said, happiness is key, of course it is and we all (well most of us) want a happy future for our children don't we. But I asked for something measurable. Actual data that suggests that unschooled children have the same life chances as schooled ones.

Greenyogagirl · 26/07/2018 21:32

Unschooling is a relatively new term so I’m not sure where you would find stats. However there are plenty of actors, Olympians, U.S presidents etc who were home ed. From the first female Supreme Court justice to julian assange to Louisa May Alcott. Which show it’s not neglect or not actually educating a child

SuburbanRhonda · 26/07/2018 21:32

But if living in harmony is not something you've experienced I can see how not having a rigid timetable to adhere to could make you nervous

Oh, OP, you really are the gift that keeps on giving!

ladyvimes · 26/07/2018 21:33

I might as well start an AMA ‘I parent my children sucessfully’. Whilst this approach sounds like it’s working for OP she is lucky she has NT children who are obviously naturally intelligent and able. I conventionally parent and I set boundaries for my children but I still listen to them and consider their views and feelings.
This is all just a bit crunchy for me. Well done Op for being a good parent. Just like thousands of others are!

adaline · 26/07/2018 21:33

So it’s not letting them do what they want, or buying noodles every day because they want them. It’s listening - why don’t they want to brush their teeth?

And you don't think other parents' do that as well?

My question is - what if, even after all the talking and cajoling in the world, they still refuse to brush their teeth. I've read lots of threads where toddlers have refused to brush their teeth and the advice is to pin them down if necessary and do it because a few minutes of upset is better than a lifetime of dental issues.

So, in OP's/your situation, would you step in and prevent them from a lifetime of dental problems, or let them get on with it? If you would step in, at what stage and why? And how would you explain that to your children when the rest of your life revolves around them getting to choose everything?

SuburbanRhonda · 26/07/2018 21:34

Julian Assange is being held up as an example of why home schooling is a good thing?

I’ve heard everything now.

ScrumpyBetty · 26/07/2018 21:34

This thread has not convinced me. All of the HE's on here sound a bit....superior in their choices, and patronising of all of 'conventionals' who cause mental health problems in our children because we send them heartlessly to be educated by strangers everyday, and tell them to 'hurry up ' in the mornings. Instead of letting them sleep in until 3pm and then watch YouTube videos and read books.
My question for you OP is do you believe in homeopathy? (All of the home educators I know are anti vaccine, and into homeopathy. Which tells me they don't have a very good grasp of Science. )

Greenyogagirl · 26/07/2018 21:34

tabatha no child has the same life chances as another, there are so many variables. A child who likes school and gets on well with have better life chances than a child who is bullied and riddled with anxiety. An unschooled child given opportunities and resources has better life chances than one who is abused. Even if on the surface everything is the same too many factors can change the outcome

Tabathatwitchett · 26/07/2018 21:34

I haven't "worked in" schools multi, I do work in schools and have done for a very long time. All sorts of schools with all sorts of catchment areas from selective schools to schools in incredibly deprived areas. I totally get the issues with education. Completely, and I know that the system is not perfect but it is in a different league to what the OP describes.

Icecoldchilli · 26/07/2018 21:35

Fucking hell, Julian Assamge was home schooled? Well that’s 1 million points in the ‘never ever ever home school your child’ box

multivac · 26/07/2018 21:36

Are you a teacher, tabitha?

Tabathatwitchett · 26/07/2018 21:37

An unschooled child given opportunities and resources has better life chances than one who is abused. Well of course, that goes without saying surely.

But what about an unschooled child compared with a schooled, non-abused NT child. Is there any data on this that you are aware of? Have any studies been done on it to allow the OP and others to have something concrete to back up their decision?

Greenyogagirl · 26/07/2018 21:37

adaline I’m not a radical unschooled and as I said before some parents don’t do that. I’m simply saltating the radical unschooling philosophy. The child doesn’t get to choose everything, their autonomy ends where another begins.
For me personally I think I’d get the chewy toothbrush and talk about/show what happens if teeth aren’t brushed, speak to a dentist and go from there, I’d like to think I wouldn’t pin a child down but I’ve never been in that situation so I don’t know.

DieAntword · 26/07/2018 21:37

I don’t think of myself as super crunchy or anything but I’d never hold my toddler down and force a toothbrush in his mouth. My parents did that to me and guess what - I was more stubborn than they were and I got bigger and the completely hostile feelings I’d developed toward toothbrushing (which did and still does make me gag) resulted ultimately in me only getting in the habit of regular toothbrushing in the last couple of years (I’m 32) and mostly that’s because I’ve had to model it to my toddler.

He RUNS upstairs to brush teeth because I don’t shove the brush in his mouth. He basically just chews it a bit. And it’s fine. He’s getting the toothpaste fluoride. He is getting used to a regular routine of “brushing” and when he is old enough to learn good brushing technique he’ll be in a great position to slot it into his routine. Traumatising kids with a toothbrush is not going to help them with long term dental hygiene.

Icecoldchilli · 26/07/2018 21:38

Also, DP is a teacher - teachers tend to have a dim view of home schooling. Do says that the teachers who leave teaching to home school are generally shit teachers who can’t cope, who want to prove a point about how ‘terrible’ schools are

Greenyogagirl · 26/07/2018 21:39

I don’t think there has. Dayna Martin is the lady who labelled it although I’m sure, particularly before schools were the norm, that it’s been happening a lot longer.