I'm a radical unschooler AMA

[OutOfControlSpirals]

I'm a radical unschooling mum, which basically means I've taken the principals of unschooling, where a child is free to learn what they want, when they want, and applied it to every aspect of our lives. So my children have the same freedoms that I do when it comes to eating/sleeping/learning etc.

Most teachers home educate because of how the school system is

In twenty years I have never met a teacher who homeschools- largely because they're at work teaching others! To argue that "most" do is absolutely ridiculous.

There's plenty of unanswered questions OP can go back to.

So everyone gets up at different times, presumably eats breakfast at different times and as a result your activities can’t begin until after 3pm?

Sounds pretty flakey to me.

I think it depends on the type of person the child will grow up to be but this is unpredictable. For arty/musical/humanities types maybe it's fine but for those that are best suited to work in STEM (science, technology, engineering, maths) they need more rigorous preparation before university education. Plus with the job market being so competitive nowadays it seems like such a risk. Unless you're very wealthy and your children will have massive trust funds in which case crack on I guess.

Tabatha
Why is it so difficult for you to understand that this approach works for some people.
it might not work for you and your daughter, but for others it clearly does.

I'm sure H.ed dc and their parents would be aware if the course/ role they wanted to pursue all of a sudden changed.
They might not change their minds, and a broad education be a waste of time that could have been directed more constructively.
You don't have to attend a school to find other areas of study you want to pursue from a given subject.
You really don't have a valid argument in anything you have said.

tabitha go onto home ed groups and actually research and you’ll find hundreds of teachers that unschool or home school

Posters seem to have stopped asking OP questions a long time ago....

Possibly because she ignored and refused to answer quite a few of them, and called them ridiculous.

Personally I don't understand OP's outlook. She's all for her children making their own decisions, but where does that become neglect? If they refuse to brush their teeth, is that okay because it's their decision? What if they want to live of supernoodles for three meals a day for six months? Do you insist they take vitamins to ensure they stay healthy - or is that interfering in their choices?

I know neither of those situations applied to OP's children but I'm curious as to where, as a parent, you intervene for your child's safety and future health? If you force them to brush their teeth, are you not going against the whole "let them make their own choices" spiel?

So where does letting them make their own decisions end? How do you decide what's "okay" and what's neglect/dangerous/damaging for their long-term health?

No not as a result - their extra curricular activites tend to start after 3. Irs not flaky. Its harmonious. But if living in harmony is not something you've experienced I can see how not having a rigid timetable to adhere to could make you nervous

Based on that last comment: goady fucker confirmed

Can you outline your/your children’s typical day?

multivac This: What level of education do you have OP and how did you obtain it? was my first post, to which the answer was degrees, diplomas and post grad degrees, all obtained via, first, a school education (I assume as the OP didn't specifically reply but didn't argue when I stated that as fact).

Why can't you take seriously?

Nah, I'm the first to call GF. I'm the last person to condone the 'I'm so crunchy line'. I'm the first to call out an, 'AIBU to love my child SO MUCH'...

.... and despite all the evidence, that's not what I get from the OP. An open mind is helping me on this thread.

Whatsnew

I used to be on the H.ed boards here, there was a poster sorry if it's you omm whose children were into Science another one was engineering.
The opportunities they found for their dc were incredible, I was just starting out and was very impressed as to the education they were providing.
iirc the full curriculum, masterclasses at uni's, all sorts was happening.

adaline radical unschooling is about listening to and guiding your child. So it’s not letting them do what they want, or buying noodles every day because they want them. It’s listening - why don’t they want to brush their teeth? Is it the taste? Does it hurt their gums? Is it because they have more exciting things to do?
Guide them - maybe you could try this toothpaste. Maybe you could try a softer brush. Maybe you could play music while you brush.
Let them know why we. Rush our teeth, ask them not ‘do you want to brush your teeth?’ But ‘do you want your teeth to hurt? Breath to smell? Cavities?’ Etc

Do any of your children have special needs? I have DS (8) who is process to get high functioning ASD diagnosis. He is hyperlexic, having taught himself to read at age 2. He is at school and it is meeting his needs in a compassionate way.

I do a lot of the things you describe: I allow a lot of screen time (DS's special interest), am very flexible with regard to food (he knows if he has too much chocolate he will be sick from experience, hence chooses to eat quite healthily within his ability), activities, etc. However, die to his SN he needs to be gently pushed to do things he finds hard (socialising, some school work, hygiene), so a completely "equal" approach wouldn't work. I have to actively and gently enforce some flexible boundaries. I do so by engaging with him to explain my thinking and find mutually acceptable solutions. To be fair, I could not deal with him all day every day (despite two undergraduate degrees and two MScs - DS's DF has a PhD) as it can be emotionally draining, so school is a godsend. I think that your approach would only work to an optimum with NT, healthy and bright children with fully engaged, gentle, educated, mentally well parents.

Good luck - I couldn't do what you do!

Tabatha
Why is it so difficult for you to understand that this approach works for some people.
it might not work for you and your daughter, but for others it clearly does

Do you have any stats to back that up? What are the outcomes for unschooled pupils? What percentage go on to professional jobs? What is the average future income for an unschooled child?

@NerrSnerr thank you, I'm enjoying our off topic conversation :)

"I do think there should be some monitoring out there. To monitor the children who are 'home educated' but actually in extreme religious schools,"
I've got this one at my fingertips: FoI requests show that in May 2018, there had been 218 inspections, 52 warning notices issued to settings operating as unregistered schools, and 46 closed or ceased operating as unregistered schools. The remaining 6 are in the middle of court proceedings. In other words, the current law is already being applied to stamp out this problem. No need to attack civil liberties of home educators.

"the children being 'home educated' but are being isolated and abused like the mumsnetters who posted on the old thread." Yes, that's ghastly. Registration and monitoring won't fix it, though. Anyone can put on a show for some LA person who comes for an hour or two a year. The only way to fix that sort of thing is for members of the public to report to social services when they are concerned about a child, just like it is now.
NB more FoI requests reveal that, across the whole country, home educated children are twice as likely as the general population to be referred to social services, and more than twice LESS likely to be put under a child protection order afterwards. I can hoick out the link if anyone wants it.

In other words, as far as children who are out and about in society are concerned, this is a non-problem and, like I said before, the ones who are being locked in the cellar by some fundamentalist nutter are still going to be locked in the cellar and nobody know about them. Awful, but curbing freedom for the rest of us won't fix it.

"I don't want to cause home educators problems, I just want more safeguards for children at risk." I think we have about as many safeguards as we can reasonably have; while the state remains the parent of last resort (which it is very much better at than being the parent of first resort), we have - as a society - to leave the upbringing of children in the hands of their parents, which includes education, unless there are genuine grounds to intervene.

Thank you for giving me the opportunity to rant about this stuff :)

Maybe going through the school system is the exact reason op chooses not to put her children through it

Multi- it’s pretty strange you start questioning my mental/emotional health instead of debating like an adult?
It’s wierd you chose that route 🤔

Probably won’t be very harmonious when puberty hits....

Out of interest, how many homeschoolers on here have neurotypical children?

Most teachers home educate because of how the school system is
Does anyone have any evidence to back this statement up? I know many teachers and haven't met one who home educates. I can believe that many home educators are teachers but I don't believe that most teachers are home educators.

Having thought about it, with some SN home schooling would also be the best alternative (school anxiety, etc.), but it would look very different from what the OP described.

green don't you think decent parents do that anyway when brushing our child's teeth? Do you think we just grab our children and ram a toothbrush down their throats or something?

I find it really sad that the most important things to you are professional jobs and income levels tabatha

You're right, tabitha - sorry. I meant the first vaguely interesting thing you posted. I didn't notice your contributions until you were forced to post this, 'cos no one asked you about your kids.....

My 11 year old dd got full marks on her SATS reading paper. Do you think she'd have got that if she started reading at 10 OP? Actually she started reading at 3, before she attended school