I'm a radical unschooler AMA

[OutOfControlSpirals]

I'm a radical unschooling mum, which basically means I've taken the principals of unschooling, where a child is free to learn what they want, when they want, and applied it to every aspect of our lives. So my children have the same freedoms that I do when it comes to eating/sleeping/learning etc.

feeding her children only noodles, and not brushing their hair, letting them play computer games 6 hours a day is lazy, neglectful parenting

This is such tabloid nonsense. A - her kids didn't eat 'only noodles'. B - there are ways to care for hair without washing or brushing it. C - they played Minecraft for 6 hours one day, when a new update came out. IIRC, mine probably did about the same.

You may or may not agree with the OP's approach. But whatever it is, it is not 'neglect' - and to say it is, is to do massive harm to those thousands of kids who have experienced neglect today.

Can you point out when I said ‘I wouldn’t have to waste time on anything else’
Your daughters life sounds exhausting to me and the same as the sats comment you posted, if that’s what works for your daughter great but nobody said radical unschooling provides ‘a broader extra curriculum life’ you seem very defensive and I don’t understand why? You do what works for you but that doesn’t give you the right to attack parents for doing what’s right for their children.
Various interests and topics are vital and again I think a home ed child gets just as much if not more than a school child doing whatever all of their peers are doing at the exact same time.

How many state educated 11 year olds would choose to go to school daily given the choice?

Mine would. In fact she's currently reading the brochure about her new school for September for the millionth time

multi I have worked with neglected children for a few years now, and homes where children have matted hair and eat noodles are considered neglectful. However you dress it up.
I can’t believe the acceptance of a diet which is dangerous for the child, they’d be anaemic for a start, where’s the iron coming from? You need vitamins and mineral to function, it’s shocking.

Then apologies onlyliving it just drives me mad that some people think if you don’t go to school you must be illiterate with no future

I think if it was monitored but accepted that education takes many forms and we don’t have to replicate school then it could me a good thing 

I agree with this. I think dictating how to do home ed defeats the object but someone should be able to come and speak to the child.

My daughter's fine Green. Very happy and yes, busy, but she loves it that way. No sitting on bloody Minecraft for 6 hours here though. She does miss out on that you're right, poor child that she is.

redrunbluerun

Again, the kid did NOT eat 'only' noodles. That's rubbish. And yes, of course matted hair can be seen as a sign of neglect. But dreads, for example, might not be.

tabatha I think you’re getting me and op confused, I’ve never said anything about Minecraft?
Honestly if your daughters happy that’s great but her lifestyle won’t make every other child happy. So if someone does something different you don’t have to be mean about it

Green. You said: If a child decides to be an engineer they can access resources and study 10 hours a day if they want

Presumably not much time for anything else then.

IF THEY WANT, I’m sure most wouldn’t want to. Given getting ready for school and after school clubs is around 10 hours your argument is pointless anyway.
Why is the topic making you so angry?

Op stated “When one of them was 4 they ate nothing but instant noodles every night for 6 months”.
I give my children a varied and balanced diet, it’s crucial for their micro biome, their development- both brain and body, and as they progress in life their propensity for obesity, heart disease and even their mental health.
We’ve obviously got very different styles of parenting.

I’d never chose to unschool/home school myself but I’m open to it as an idea. I can’t believe how riled up some people are getting. Conventional schooling is not appropriate for many children. Remember school as we know it is just a system someone made up in times gone by, who’s to actually say it’s any better than any other way of educating? The people I know who have had either homeschool or had an unconventional education (Steiner) are actually very successful. One decided to take their exams and they are now a doctor! The other has trained as a blacksmith and is also doing well.

I am not being "mean" and yes I know you didn't refer to Minecraft- although you didn't argue against it in principle. My comments sound aggressive I'm sure because I am passionate about education and how important it is to young people, particularly in this world where getting a job is hard enough. I think parents who make choices like this are seriously neglecting the education of their children and that saddens me. They are not my children and thus it is not up to me, but in the same way as I would have an opinion about any other form of neglect, I have an opinion about this.

*Theonlylivingboyinnewcross
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So all women must be in paid work from leaving education to retirement, to be free from the patriarchy?! Partners can't come to an agreement where care is valued as highly as paid work? I don't want any type of feminism that tells me I must be in paid work to have equal value to men, that I must join the patriarchal structures rather than have the freedom to make other choices.
See it's that complete devaluation of anything other than paid work (because traditionally care has been done predominantly by women) that we have the patriarchy to thank for.

I'm sorry, I totally understand it's your choice but there's no way I wouldn't let my not child wash her hair for that long. It's just dirty, also eating super noodles for that long. It doesn't boil down to their body their choice at that point. You are the PARENT! You're surely meant to guide them to make better choices? Choices that may affect their health. Sorry if I'm sounding harsh I'm not meaning to it just baffles me

Op stated “When one of them was 4 they ate nothing but instant noodles every night for 6 months”

Ah, I see you haven't RTFT. Fair enough, it's quite long, and you probably wanted to jump straight in. The above was hyperbole. The OP later explained this was one meal a day, and that the child's nutritional needs were fully met by the rest of their diet.

Do you never just want some peace. What if you want some time alone with your dh. And they decide that they are staying up late? How do you ever have the time or space for a private discussion, or even a quickie if the kids don't go to bed at a set time.

Not dead set on bedtimes here but il be honest some nights I'm counting down and I would become very grumpy if I didn't get some downtime

I came late to this thread and haven’t seen anything about Minecraft before now.
As I have said my parenting and home educating philosophy varies.
Saying home ed is not an education and is neglecting children is mean.
Going to school to get an education is the norm, that doesn’t mean it’s the only way to get an education though.

I believe that home schooling in the right environment can be fantastic for some children but from the op's perspective it just smacks of lazy parenting.

How on earth can it be ok to allow a child to dictate when their hair is washed? I can only imagine what the hair looked and smelled like, and why? So you could proudly state that you children are heard, are respected etc etc. Balls!

Children certainly all don't need to be conventionally schooled, I agree.
What they do need is routine/structure/rules and guidance and bloody limits.
6 hours on Minecraft? I'm sorry but that is just using the Xbox or whatever as a babysitter for you.

I think you need a reality check here.
Your children will really struggle as adults due to how you're bringing them up.
Imagine when they're in relationships and just do whatever the hell they want with no regard to the other person.
Staring work and not wanting to conform to rules/break times etc.

It's good to give some choice, I do with mine, but to the extent that it doesn't affect them more than it needs to. Chicken or fish for tea? No problem.

I wonder how much say your husband has in all of this? Not very much I imagine.

You couldn't have put me off your lifestyle more.

Anyway, that's derailing the thread slightly. Just can't stand the perception that all women who take time out of the workforce are forced into caring for their children, when the important issue is choice. Forcing everyone into paid full time work as nobody would surely choose to care for others is the real shit side of patriarchy. I'll bow out now!

I still disagree with a main meal every night being noodles. I disagree with no bed time, considering how important sleep is for development.
But like I said we’ve got very different parenting styles.
The health of my children, physical and mental, is put above everything else in this house.

ginandnappies a radical unschooling approach to a child not wanting to wash their hair would be to look at why people wash their hair, shorter hair, different ways to keep hair clean. Just like with brushing teeth, taking on board their concerns and trying to find a way to guide them to making the best decisions (with regards to hygeine and health etc)

Well I opened this thread thinking I couldn’t think of much worse than Home ed/unschooling and the thread hasn’t done anything to change my opinion.

parents who make choices like this are seriously neglecting the education of their children

No, the OP is simply not outsourcing it.

I'm no flag waver for HE. I am immensely grateful for our state education system, even with all its flaws - and even more so for our teachers, who are largely incredible. I know families where 'HE' (or 'unschooling', or whatever groovy name they want to call it) is very much a mask for opting out of any kind of responsibility, and being determined to believe that their own child is considerably more special and marvellous than any other). I also know families where HE has been a desperate and flawed response to a system that has failed specific young people.

But I don't get that from the OP, at all. Her family - her children - are immensely privileged (cultural/social/knowledge capital); and she is using that privilege in a positive way, imo. And in the process, bypassing some of the necessary evils of a system designed to educate en masse, for the requirement of industrial civilisation - and political expediency.