I'm a radical unschooler AMA

[OutOfControlSpirals]

I'm a radical unschooling mum, which basically means I've taken the principals of unschooling, where a child is free to learn what they want, when they want, and applied it to every aspect of our lives. So my children have the same freedoms that I do when it comes to eating/sleeping/learning etc.

If a child decides to be an engineer they can access resources and study 10 hours a day if they want, rather than be restricted to a disrupted 50minute lesson which only covers what the exams need

But how will they know they want to be an engineer if they aren't exposed to a range of opportunities? And what if they declare at 12 that's what they want, meaning you throw all your time at it and by 14 they've gone off it? An education at that age needs to be broad and general to allow children to experience everything.

I totally agree with the pp who said her child missed nothing by avoiding days spent on Minecraft eating pot noodles and avoiding a hair brush. They do, however, have hobbies (their choice), free time (spent how they wish), lots of autonomy over hair/clothes choices. They are not robots- much as the OP and some others would like to believe conventionally actually educated children are.

SuburbanRhonda
There is nothing wrong with a man going to work and a women staying at home if that's what they want. I am a SAHM and bloody love it. I would hate for anyone to look down on me for it or feel sorry for me.

That’s not conforming, that’s making a decision to work in that environment and follow that environments rules. Like I said before everyone follows rules in society, we do most of it without thinking, just because we don’t run around naked stealing stuff doesn’t mean we conform.

Aw Spirals, you skipped my questions.

This thread Is just about awful neglect... a 4 year old eating noodles for months? It’s just so sad to read, poor kids.
It’s lazy parenting as well.
Dress up the parenting style all you want, neglect is neglect.

I completely agree that it’s fine for either the man or the woman to go out to work leaving the other to stay at home.

I just noticed the irony of the OP calling parents whose children go to school “conventional” while following a highly conventional path herself.

But they are exposed to a range of opportunities and I believe more opportunities than at school.
If they change their mind so what? How many people want to be a ballerina at 5, a doctor at 10 and a vet at 15, people change careers all of the time

@CurlyhairedAssassin when my children were smaller, I almost always had something I was worrying gently about, and trying to think of ways to coax them to overcome. While I was wasting my energy on that, they'd quietly get on with learning a million other things. I've pretty much learned to trust them now: they are fabulous at learning things that they put their minds to, and it takes hardly any time if they are genuinely ready to learn.

They also now have sufficient language and cognitive skills, and sufficient trust in their parents' wisdom, that if we nowadays suggest that it might be a really good idea to learn X because of YZ, they are usually willing to have a go, as long as we don't demand more than a few minutes of it a day (which is enough to get a long way, and often just getting started on something then gets someone immersed in it for ages)

@RosaMallory most people I know learned to read before starting school with no formal instruction. How is that possible if children need to be formally instructed in reading?

redrun I didn’t see that post having joined quite late in the thread but would like to say the philosophy of radical unschooling is the opposite of lazy, it’s incredibly hard work.

theonlyliving how is it? Do you think everyone reading this thread learned how to read at the exact same age?

Of course I don’t. But nor do I think that everybody on this thread can read at exactly the same level. Variations in spelling ability, punctuation, grammar, vocabulary, fluency of expression, all tells me that. And the point you were making was that everyone would be able to read at the same level at adulthood. Which is patently absolute nonsense. Some 10 year olds will have a higher reading age than many, many adults. 15% of UK adults are functionally illiterate.

You said you get your children to do an annual online assessment. Can I ask why? I’m presuming (and I may be wrong) it’s so you can see if they are in line with their peers which you say they are.
Has this always been the case, have they ever fallen behind according to the assessment? If they did what did you do (if anything). Would it be fair to say you do the assessment because you would be concerned if they weren’t achieving at the same level as their peers?

Not had time to read the full thread but I really admire you OP.

I apologise if I have come across as defensive. I have nothing against home ed and although school is our first choice I wouldn't rule it out if necessary (although I have no idea how we could cope financially).

I did find this thread frustrating though, the avoidance of the qualification questions, the assumptions that parents of school
children don't facilitate learning.

The neglect thing is worrying. There was a thread a long while back about monitoring home education and many home educators were massively against it even though two separate posters came on saying how 'home education' was used as a cover for their parents to abuse them and because it's not monitored they did not ever get any 1-1 time with other adults to speak out. I find this terrifying.

Oh my, some of the responses on here! Formal conventional schooling came about for specific reasons which some of you might want to research. It's really not a natural environment. Having said that, I use it and believe it has benefits. It's the narrow mindedness and sheer ignorance of some posters here that is mind blowing - the OP isn't denying her children an education! Plenty of home ed children later join school or college for formal exams. Ignore the haters OP, they have some serious issues! Well done to you for choosing a different path - the world needs more people who don't accept there's only one right way to do life, just because the majority choose it.

And as for @SuburbanRhonda - your earlier post enraged me most of all. It's not sexist if a person freely makes a choice - that's what feminism is, freedom from the patriarchy (that devalues care in all its forms) and ability to have choice. Guess what - some women actually don't have (nor want) hugely stimulating well-paid careers and are quite happy to spend a few years caring for their children. They're not all forced into it ffs!

I had to train for four years to get my degree in education. It's also a job where you have to do training courses as well.

You had to train for four years to learn how to teach a room full of children.

It is absolutely not necessary for someone to learn to teach their own children. Children have been taught by their parents, governess, or even mostly self taught since time began.

You also don't need to have a PHD in everything you teach to teach a child, or give them the tools to learn themselves. DO people think their child's year 3 teacher is some sort of genius who knows everything?

As for the OP's comments about engaging with her children, took that to mean that she has to engage 24 hours a day. Not between 6 and 8 when she gets home for work and before bedtime.

I don't take offence to that because I'm not looking to be offended. it's accurate. Home educating is hard work and I think that's why most people don't consider it. Certainly not because we prefer the education system in this country. There are probably a million threads ranting about the British school system.

Anyway, interesting thread OP, interesting to see how offended people get when someone perceives a slight against their parenting because they have chosen a different path.

onlyliving not would be at the same level but could be. A child who learns to read later but loves it will obviously be a better reader than a child who was taught younger but doesn’t like it.

people change careers all of the time

Exactly!! So why throw excessive time at one interest that they mention Green? I am responding to your words here- you said that if a child expressed an interest then you wouldn't have to waste time on all the other stuff that schools apparently force on children. The point is that a varied curriculum is really important and unless you point a child in the right directions they simply won't know where to look.

Again, my eldest daughter swims, dances, plays instruments, attends Guides, reads constantly (I could go on) etc etc. Please don't assume that you are offering a broader extra-curricular life than I am.

freedom from the patriarchy

How does the OP fund being able to stay at home radically unschooling?

Ommmward, this is how I was recommended to teach my ds to read by a dyslexic tutor. Just because your dcs picked it up by themselves doesn't mean all dcs will. I know this because I'm a qualified teacher. This is what the problem is. Just because it worked for you doesn't mean it does for everyone. I really understand the need for home ed by the way as ds1 has autism and we've been lucky that school has supported him enough that he's able to go. My problem is the op hasn't answered all the questions.

nerrserr I’m in two minds about the monitoring of home Ed children. My local authority don’t have anything to do with my son, even when I asked for advice! I know others who break the law requesting meetings and evidence etc on the one hand people should be free to parent their children but obviously children should never be at risk. I think if it was monitored but accepted that education takes many forms and we don’t have to replicate school then it could me a good thing

green the evidence the Op has provided- feeding her children only noodles, and not brushing their hair, letting them play computer games 6 hours a day is lazy, neglectful parenting.

I don’t doubt that proper radical parenting is hard work, but these children are neglected.

Also someone up thread asked why so many home educated children choose to go to school in secondary as though it was proof that home ed didn't work

How many state educated 11 year olds would choose to go to school daily given the choice? Home education teaches children to enjoy learning, it doesn't kill the joy for them and makes them self starters. I think many choose to go to school as they get older as they are looking for further challenges.

I don't home ed due to time constraints but I am friends with many people who do and have been to home ed events. The teenagers are fabulous and I hope my kids turn out half as lovely.

not would be at the same level but could be

You said you guarantee that they will all be at the same level come adulthood. That is very much “would be”, not “could be”.

I think when dcs have autism or additional needs home schooling can make sense as the stress of attending school can be awful. But I think with this route you accept that their ‘attainment’ and ‘success’ will not be he same as a traditionally schooled typical child, and just work on helping them live their best life.

But for neurotypical children with no additional needs, the expectations are higher and avoiding challenging them through school can mean they don’t meet their full potential