I'm a radical unschooler AMA

[OutOfControlSpirals]

I'm a radical unschooling mum, which basically means I've taken the principals of unschooling, where a child is free to learn what they want, when they want, and applied it to every aspect of our lives. So my children have the same freedoms that I do when it comes to eating/sleeping/learning etc.

Tabatha

It's true, if a child knows what they want to do, why waste time on other stuff. Some, like mine knew from a very early age, yes she did lots of extra curricular stuff both when attending school and when H.ed, in fact more when H.ed as more time.
At school now she sees the academic lessons as a complete waste of time but knows she has to learn stuff to tick boxes. She has no interest in anything she is learning as she doesn't need it.
She's just the same at school as when H.ed, apart from a change in extra curricular activities.

Oh, and while my kids did dunk their heads in water, no shampoo or detergent of any kind went near it until they were 12, and decided for themselves that they quite liked hair that was stripped of its natural oils, but smelled fragrant. People are a bit weird about washing.

I'm interested in home education. I've got several friends who HE their kids, in a variety of ways. Some of their kids are lovely, some are not. Just as are the kids who go to school.

One of things I don't understand about a comment you made earlier " I usually see harrassed mothers and unhappy kids being told to stop being naughty and hurry up we're laaaate". Do you never have to hurry your kids up? Do you always have time "to sit with your frustrated child for 40 odd minutes and help them work through their feelings" as you said?

I lived very close to my children's primary school and the issues we had about leaving the house when they were small were exactly the same whatever the reason. It wasn't about school at all. Whether it was nursery/school/park/walk/swimming/playground/favourite activity/medical appointment/dentist/church/seeing friends/trip to grandmas they found it very hard to get socks and shoes on and leave.

How did you manage this when two children really wanted to go somewhere but the third was expressing their autonomy? Should the other two miss out?

@NerrSnerr do you think that all parents of pre-schoolers who are not in OFSTED register nurseries should be routinely inspected as well, and forced to use their however-many-hours-it-is-of free child care if they don't meet the inspector's expectations for what they are doing with their child?

That's the exact equivalent of arguing for routine monitoring and inspection of home educated children. (we home educators can get quite riled up about it).

There are already legal safeguards in place. If a local authority has cause for concern about the education being provided to a child, they have a duty to make enquiries; if they still aren't satisfied that the education is suitable, they can take the family to court for a School Attendance Order. That's the right balance of power: home educators have to be able to persuade a reasonable person (the judge) that there is a suitable education taking place; the power does not reside with local authority staffers, who may have a very narrow definition of what constitutes a suitable education, and who do not know the children in question or their individual needs. A judge has a level of critical distance.

If there is cause for concern about a child's welfare, then that's a matter for social services, who already have power to intervene where needed.

It's a matter of all of us, as concerned citizens, looking out for other people's children and their well being. Every one of the home educated children who has been the subject of a serious case review was already known to the authorities as a concern; in every case, it was failings on the part of the authorities that led to the child's death or serious injury, not the fact that they were ostensibly being home educated.

Within the home ed community, if I came across a family where I genuinely thought there was neglect, then yes, I would report it to the authorities. And the ones who are basically locking their children in a cupboard? No amount of registering and monitoring is going to persuade them to register and be monitored, and - once caught - the fact that their children weren't receiving a suitable education is going to be the least of their worries, frankly. Hard cases make bad laws.

I actually have no issue with home education and have strongly considered it for my future children.

But there is a difference between teaching your children yourself/using tutors/letting them learn at their own pace, and allowing your children to go months without washing their hair and living off supernoodles every night. The former is great and healthy and probably the ideal system for most kids, but the latter is neglect in my opinion.

If a child consistently turned up to school with filthy, unbrushed hair, the school would rightly inform social services!

OP, regarding not having the children in mainstream education, is that because you disagree with the UK Curriculum?

The Netherlands is a country famous for its progressive and pressure free education system; pretend you lived there, would you still unschool?

Finally what was the “click” that made you think “that’s it I’m radically unschooling them” and why didn’t you send them down the Steiner/Montessori route?

From a radical unschooling perspective, your autonomy ends when it effects someone else’s autonomy so you have to compromise. I’d assume if 2 wanted to go out the other one would go too. Again it’s not about letting kids do whatever they want, it’s about listening and guiding them

No, the OP is simply not outsourcing it to professional educators with subject specific knowledge. Instead the OP is leaving it up to her children to decide what to learn, when and how (even if at all) and using Google to fill in the gaps in her own knowledge.

And Green, to be clear, this thread is very specifically about unschooling which is not the same as homeschooling. I don't agree with homeschooling but I have more time for it than unschooling which is absolutely educationally neglectful in my opinion.

Do they sleep?

OP I think you sound brilliant, and that your children are very lucky.

To me, it sounds the polar opposite of neglect.

Here are some to offset the anger people are offloading on this thread.

Can you outline a typical day for your family?

Ah, bless you tabitha - do you actually believe that all KS3 and 4 students in state education are taught by subject specialists across the board?

And as for @SuburbanRhonda**

You know, I’ve been on here for donkeys years and have dreamed of someone posting that! Thank you confused, and I hope you’ve been able to regulate your emotions over my post.

Btw, no need to @ me - I’m on the thread.

Thank you multivac

It's true, if a child knows what they want to do, why waste time on other stuff

Let's think. Because they might change their minds, or the boundaries for that particular role might change meaning they needed a subject they thought they didn't. They might find that learning a certain subject opens the door to other subjects, or skills, or ways of working that help in other ways (for example, they may hate drama but it might help them to get better at group work or presentation skills). How can any child be 100% certain of what they will/will not need in the future? How can they know what skills a subject might teach when they have never been exposed to it?

Why is everyone so obsessed with the hair thing? I can think of at least three ways in which I could keep a child presentable and healthy without washing/brushing their hair...

OP - please, if only to stop the Daily Mail horror, could you explain which route you chose?

Some people don’t agree with sending your kids to be raised by strangers everyday but there you go.
Again, just because your way works for you doesn’t mean it’s the only way.
And they might be ‘professional educators’ but they spend most of time trying to control the class, the little bit they can teach (as long as it’s only what the curriculum dictates) has to be taken in ASAP because they don’t have to time to go over it. If you love the subject and want to do more you can’t because everyone has to be at the same level.
Children SHOULD get an education be that at school or home or whatever and in most cases they do. A small percentage of unschooled children don’t get an education, a small percentage of schooled children don’t get an education.

multi I know all about the inadequacies of the school system currently, believe me. However I do know that there is far more likelihood of a specialist teacher for each subject in a school than in your living room.

Multivac, she had very fine hair at that stage, essential oils, scalp massage and weekly swimming kept in clean and unmatted. Just looked a bit untidy but certainly wasn't matted or filthy

And also, tabitha, are you aware of how many 14-year-olds are old, in the state education system, that they CANNOT study a language. That they CANNOT take three sciences. That they MUST NOT choose a 'soft' subject, like drama, or music, because their KS2 SATs result indicate that they are 'academic'?

Our state education system closes more doors, for more students, year on year.

Some people don’t agree with sending your kids to be raised by strangers everyday but there you go

My children aren't being raised by school teachers, they are being taught by them. My dh and I are raising them.

multi. Can I ask what your experience of schools is? Are you a teacher?

There we go, OP - so not much different from my two dunking their head in plain water once or twice a week (apart from being better for the scalp!)

To everyone declaring my children will grow up illiterate and unable to function in society - I think you'll find the prisons to be filled with people like that, and every single one of them would have spent time in the school system. I sincerely doubt you'd find home educated people in there.

I am professionally involved in education. I deal with schools every day. I visit schools regularly, of all types, and across the country.