I'm a radical unschooler AMA

[OutOfControlSpirals]

I'm a radical unschooling mum, which basically means I've taken the principals of unschooling, where a child is free to learn what they want, when they want, and applied it to every aspect of our lives. So my children have the same freedoms that I do when it comes to eating/sleeping/learning etc.

I would agree Holly my son has sn also. School just can't accommodate him.

AuroraFloyd, I think it's not my child so its not my business. I will say though, Ive seen plenty of unschooled kids who started reading at 10 or 11 and within 6 months were at the same level as their peers. People learn best when they are developmentally ready to

Why is it ridiculous?

You say you let them make their own choices - that you let one of them eat supernoodles for dinner every night and another go six months without brushing their hair. What if one of them demanded to have a glass of wine every evening? If they're over the age of 5 it's legal so would you allow them to drink it? I notice you never answered whether you'd allow a young child to have it, just a teenager.

And you also never answered the teeth brushing question, just that you never had that issue. So, again, if your three year old refused completely to brush her teeth, would you just shrug and let her get on with it? If not, why would you override that decision but not others? If you would let her get on with it, how do you justify that decision to yourself?

They have no cavities? So you take them to the dentist then.

With the teeth brushing, we never had a major issue with it. As babies I gave them toothbrushs to chew on when they were teething, so they associated teeth brushing with relieving pain. The biggest issue we have had has been with individual preference to toothpaste - everyone has their own tube because we all prefer different kinds.

But how would you have handled the challenge if one of them had been a toothbrushing refuser, given that the way you handled your child not wanting to brush their hair was to just let them not brush their hair for 2 years?

Adaline and charolais, do you realise how deranged you sound? According to you if children are not in school and being controlled, they'd all be getting facial tattoos, getting drunk and shagging their siblings? Seriously??!

Well, I suppose it’s a bit incomprehensible that someone would let their child not wash their hair for 2 years, so doesn’t seem much of a leap to let them drink wine etc?

We still haven't heard how you got your education OP. Come on now, you can do it "I got a degree because I went to school..."

What careers do you see them following in the future m?

No, the issue isn't about them not being in school, it's your claims about them self regulating and the nature of your parenting.

@hangingaroundtheportal its not an issue thats come up so I've not put to much thought in to it. I guess there would be alot of discussion around it, theres books aimed at kids that help work through fears around teeth brushing and some trips to a dentist who could talk with them

I think the point people are trying to make is that you do have boundaries, and those boundaries are not as radically different from other people's as some may think.

Says the woman who allowed her child to go without brushing his hair for six months

You're just avoiding the questions which tells me you do have boundaries in place and aren't as radical as you seem to want everyone to think.

You take your children to the dentist, and don't let them run riot in the supermarket so you obviously make some decisions for them, even if you're OP was all about being you letting them make their own rules.

But again you're avoiding the questions people have asked you. If your children wanted to make decisions that would have lifelong impacts on their health - how would you handle it? If talking to them and explaining the consequences didn't put them off, would you step in as an adult and take responsibility or would you just let them get on with it?

If you read the post properly in regards to the hair brushing you'll see that I worked with her to find a way to help her take car of her hair without brushing or shampooing it. I obviously did not just ignore her for 2 years

But the inconsistency of your boundaries seems puzzling. How do you decide what to regulate and what not to?

I have read the post, I still think that's a form of child neglect though. If a child in school didn't have their hair brushed or washed for two years, the parents would (rightly) be reported to social services for child neglect.

So would you put them into school if you split up with your husband so you could work full-time? Have you put savings to one side to continue being at home full time until your youngest reaches 18? - Not a goady question, genuinely curious about it.

Flyingmonkeys, I don't intend of splitting up with my husband, we married for a reason. He does have life insurance though

@flyingMonkeys we have enough life insurance that if me or my children's father dies, the survivor will be able not to work, in order to be able to continue to home educate.

Do most people budget in advance for what to do if the relationship breaks down? I don't.

Good cross post :)

Adaline, you're confusing respect with neglect. I respect my childrens choices and do my best to hear their voices.

What kind of boundaries do you have? Are there situations where you would certainly step in and say no?

I homeschool but they have set work to do, they don't have to do it at certain times, they tend to make their own routine as long as its done by the end of the week. They are allowed a fair amount of freedom, i want them to experience things and learn through more than just sitting at a desk with a textbook. But there are still certain rules, you wouldn't find them playing minecraft for 6 hours or going to bed whenever

Adeline 1 they would, and that’s why home schooled children are at risk of abuse and neglect when out of view of authorities who could intervene quickly. As this thread shows

www.google.co.uk/amp/s/amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2018/jul/15/the-guardian-view-on-home-schooling-in-england-a-register-is-needed

This poor mans parents left him to die after he made the ‘choice’ not to see a doctor. He was withdrawn from school aged 12, and allowed to do whatever he wanted by his parents. He was appalingly neglected and failed.

Yes, I think a lot of people with children plan what might happen in various unlikely but life changing circumstances. Not many people go into a relationship/marriage intending to split up, but unlikely things do happen.