I'm a radical unschooler AMA

[OutOfControlSpirals]

I'm a radical unschooling mum, which basically means I've taken the principals of unschooling, where a child is free to learn what they want, when they want, and applied it to every aspect of our lives. So my children have the same freedoms that I do when it comes to eating/sleeping/learning etc.

Everyone marries for a reason. People don't marry thinking they'll get divorced! I happens though.

You’re brave posting!
Unfortunately a lot of parents have been through the school system and can’t see that children are actual real people, not playdough dolls to mould how you want.
Unschooling is guiding your children not dictating to them.
And as for education/jobs/whatever why do exams have to be taken at 16? Ops children will have years to truly find who they are and their passions and be able to do whatever they want, be that exams, work, travel or starting a business.

What isn't working well about your approach? What things would you like to improve? What have you changed along the way? Since your parenting is considered radical, do you ever find it difficult to be honest about mistakes or difficulties? Do you feel alienated from non-unschooling parents? Do you have any secret fears about the path you have chosen for your children?

If you say so

The SN boards often have posts about kids with (usually but always) autism who refuse to eat anything but x, y or z for their dinner and any deviation from that causes a huge meltdown and much distress and sympathetic posters say well you've got to do what you've got to do/pick your battles. Isn't this the same thing?

Oh as for it being a cop out I’m unsure on how raising your kids 24/7 is somehow easier than sending them away most days for their entire childhood?

So you homeschool and are financially dependent on your DH. That’s an expensive education.

Do you know that not taking care of your childrens personal hygene is neglect I suspect in the circles you run in you are blissfully under the radar.

But OP's children don't have SN. And clearly do have boundaries and rules as they attend the dentist and are taken out of supermarkets if they behave badly and tantrum.

Her OP is all about letting them make their own choices but her subsequent replies clearly show her approach isn't as radical as she likes to make it out to be.

Sarcy, thanks for your post. You're right, there are situations such as when their physical health was in immediate danger, when I absolutely would intervene, but it wouldn't be as a parent or "person in charge" as such, it would simply be out of human instinct, such as a person darting out in front of a car, its instinct to shout stop! And grab hold of them.

I just don't think there are many situations where enforcing is the only option. Theres usually a way around things, it often just takes more time and can be a bit inconvenient

Do you have to put up with this much aggression and suspicion on a regular basis?

Three questions....

1. what happens when your child's knowledge goes further than yours in a subject area. Will you bring in external help?
2. what happens if (when) your child/children want to escape this family bubble you are keeping them in?
3. how will you respond if your child wants to enter a mainstream setting at some point? These are all real/valid scenarios I have witnessed professionally.

"Unfortunately a lot of parents have been through the school system and can’t see that children are actual real people, not playdough dolls to mould how you want. "

I appreciate this isn't the OP, but this gem is so patronising and judgemental. It really doesn't help people who home educate when people come out with stuff like this.

Do you miss out on adult interaction? Do you ever get really bored, and does it ever feel like groundhog day? Are you worried you'll be unable to re-enter the working environment once the kids leave home and you're older? Do you still manage an independent life balance?

Yes it is assassinatedbeauty just like it’s patronising and judgemental to say home ed/unschooling is a cop out, neglect, not in child best interests etc

I respect my childrens choices and do my best to hear their voices.

Good grief.

Fascinating thread. My question S why do you need a label for what you do? Most parents simply parent. But you've attached a label to your style of parenting and I wonder why you feel the need to do that?

This thread is fascinating

My 11 year old dd got full marks on her SATS reading paper. Do you think she'd have got that if she started reading at 10 OP? Actually she started reading at 3, before she attended school.
In days gone by, being called "unschooled" would have been a huge insult indicative of being a bit thick.

Oh do fuck off.... 😕

Wow, a lot of very challenged, defensive people on this thread! I wonder why the idea threatens people so much?

Adaline I go to the dentist. Its natural they see the dentist. If you go back to page one you will see people asking "what about when they go in to the real world". This is it. They are in the real world, being raised in it. I'm not enforcing it, they're just learning through living. I explained further up what I could have done if they refused to see the dentist. As for the supermarket, I didn't enforce a no screaming no running rule, I just involved them and when they needed to scream I took them to a spot where they were free to express that. There was no punishment for their behaviour. Just acceptance and taking the time to help them calm down. Which in turn helps them to understand their emotions and overtime, regulate them.

Why do you think, @WindandWuthering ?

Do you not feel a bit guilty OP that you had the benefit of an education that you are denying your children? Most people I know want their children to do better than them, not worse.

Twogin there’s a label for all parenting styles, radical unschooling isn’t ops label, just like helicopter parents, attachment parenting etc aren’t one parents label