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AMA
Original poster

I was an escort for 12 years. AMA

65 replies

Namechanged9911 · 25/07/2018 20:56

I was an escort from the age of 18-30. There were one or two things I enjoyed about it, but on the whole it was awful and I’m glad to be out of it now. AMA

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Original poster
Namechanged9911 · 28/07/2018 23:19

@theconstantmoaner not anymore. I do a lot of things like meditation now to avoid me focusing on the past too much and getting into an anxious downward spiral again

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TheConstantMoaner · 28/07/2018 23:25

Op. Not trying to be patronising at all. But well done for turning things around. You sound like a very kind hearted and lovely person.

Original poster
Namechanged9911 · 28/07/2018 23:27

Thanks, that’s really nice of you xx

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Onecutefox · 29/07/2018 00:01

How would you call men who pay for sex? Is there a name for them? The other party would be called a prostitute but wouldn't you call a prostitute someone who pays for sex as well? Usually it's the prostitutes who get judged and not the ones who pay them for sex.

Original poster
Namechanged9911 · 29/07/2018 08:33

The ones who pay for sex are ‘punters’. And I agree with you that it’s usually always the prostitutes who are judged and seen as the villains

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extinctspecies · 29/07/2018 08:40

Did you have a pimp?

How did the clients find you?

Original poster
Namechanged9911 · 29/07/2018 08:53

@extinct no I was always fully independent and I was on Adultwork which is the most commonly used website for sex work in the UK. The clients would email me on there and place a booking through the site.
Some escorts work from brothels/agencies and have to give a cut of their earnings to whoever runs the business (basically a pimp). I never wanted to do that as wanted to be able to keep all of the money for myself and also be able to control who I do and don’t want to see.

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brainepson · 29/07/2018 08:57

Thanks for your answers. I'm not surprised you have trust issues. Well done for getting out of it.

Interesting that what men really wanted was intimacy.

extinctspecies · 29/07/2018 08:58

Did you ever meet any other sex workers?
Did you know about the scale of drug addiction and people smuggling in the sex work industry?
(Not being judgemental, just genuinely interested, as this is something I've heard. Also that many sex workers are single parents doing it to make ends meet.)
Fascinating thread, and appreciate your candour.

Original poster
Namechanged9911 · 29/07/2018 09:00

@brianepson yes when I first got into it I assumed they’d all be wanting porn star style sex and i’d be getting asked to do all sorts of crazy things. There were obviously a few who wanted it to be like that, but the majority were just normal blokes wanting normal sex and to feel noticed for an hour.

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Original poster
Namechanged9911 · 29/07/2018 09:09

@extinct yes I would sometimes do 3sum bookings with another escort who lived close by to me (we got talking on the Saafe forum). And I also made friends with another one too although we’ve lost touch now.

I didn’t know about those things when I first started out. I was just blindsided by wanting to make as much money as quickly as possible, and as I was working independently I was in my own little bubble.
I definitely become more aware of the issues in the sex industry when I got older and less naive though. There were SO many women who were from countries like Romania, Poland or Thailand advertising on adultwork and it was clear that a pimp had written their adverts for them. They would be having to do all sorts of things like unprotected sex and I’m sure a lot of them were being trafficked. There are some really evil people out there!

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Original poster
Namechanged9911 · 29/07/2018 09:12

@extinct and yes a lot of the escorts I spoke to online and the two that I was friends with were all single parents. They would do bookings whilst their kids were at nursery/school. I personally don’t think I could have done it if I had kids as I would have been too terrified of people finding out and making their lives a misery. But I also understand why they do it as they are sick of struggling to make ends meet all the time

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Onecutefox · 29/07/2018 10:45

*Namechanged9911

The ones who pay for sex are ‘punters’. And I agree with you that it’s usually always the prostitutes who are judged and seen as the villains*

Names, thank you. I think I have heard "punters" before but this word isn't not as widely used to remember it. Out of two words people would think with disgust about the prostitutes because they sleep with many men but punters go regularly to prostitutes and no one looks at them down. Often married or in a relationship although it doesn't matter as they still pay for sex.

LanaorAna2 · 29/07/2018 10:55

Do you have to be hot, thin or good-looking to be an escort?

Original poster
Namechanged9911 · 29/07/2018 11:10

@lanaor definitly not. I’d say I have (or had) an attractive face when I was doing it and it was probably my selling point. But my body was completely average. I was a size 12-14 and have all the usual imperfections like cellulite and stretch marks on my hips etc.
There is a market for all shapes and sizes. A lot of my clients said they liked me because I was just a normal ‘girl next door’ and far less intimidating than the perfect looking model types. There were lots of plus sized women on adultwork too, and also very skinny women. Im sure most women could fit into some sort of ‘niche’ such as having an attractive face or large/small breasts or a big bum or a petite body.

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