I was an escort for 12 years. AMA

[Namechanged9911]

I was an escort from the age of 18-30. There were one or two things I enjoyed about it, but on the whole it was awful and I’m glad to be out of it now. AMA

@crop over the 12 years I had 3 clients who I was genuinely really attracted to and developed feelings for. Dating a client never turns out well though as it gets very complicated

Did you get tested regularly for std’s

So escorts are the same as prostitutes, I genuinely never knew that, I thought escorts escorted clients to events and maybe then had sex with them!

@littlechocola yes once a month. I never did unprotected sex and I also didn’t do unprotected oral sex in the final 2 years as there was a super strain of ghonorrea doing the rounds that was becoming immune to antibiotics.

Do you feel traumatised about either selling your body for sex or any of the acts you were asked to perform? If so, which ones? What made them so? On another thread an ex escort said she suffered with ptsd while others don't seem to have any regrets. I wondered why that was?

I had a few clients over the years who were far too rough with me. One of them in particular makes me feel so angry whenever I think about it. He was a huge guy and very strong. We were having sex in the doggy style position and he was holding my head down into the covers with force so I couldn’t breathe and he was close to snapping my neck as he was gripping so hard that it left bruises. I felt incredibly vulnerable as he could have so easily killed me. Had a lot of them call me vile names during dirty talk and just try and be as degrading as possible. Had a couple that ended up stalking me too. Lots of my clients were really nice but the odd few who weren’t definitely used to traumatise me a bit.

Maybe the escorts who have no regrets were just stronger minded than me. I’m an anxious person so it probably effected me a lot more. Plus the fact I couldn’t tell anyone what I was doing made it far more stressful. Some escorts have partners who support what they do and their families all know too - I imagine that would make it all so much easier to deal with

That sounds terrifying, I think anyone would struggle with that. Do you think some clients felt they could do what they wanted (be rough, call you names etc) as they'd paid you?

@viago yes definitely! Most of them were very vanilla and just wanted things like kissing, cuddling and missionary. But there would be a few who would think because they had paid me that I should let them do whatever they wanted to me. I didn’t like to see men under the age of 30 as found they were the most likely to be disrespectful and rough (and also push boundaries after the booking by texting me as if I’m someone they’ve met off Tinder).

Hi OP. Your honesty is incredible. Do you mind me asking, were you ever in a situation where you met a client and simply could not go through with the evening?

@songforsal I had a few who clearly hadn’t bothered to wash beforehand and also refused a shower at mine. The stench from some of their bits was beyond revolting and i’d have to terminate the booking by saying I’d been struck down by a sudden migraine. Also had one who left skid marks on my bed sheets as soon as he sat down on them once he’d taken his clothes off. I had to also get him to leave

🤢🤢 omg that sounds grim. Why can't a grown man wipe his arse properly!

i watched a tv programme (can't remember the name) where they interviewed an escort and she too said that it was the younger men she had more problems with and often wouldn't see again. I wonder if it's the influence of porn.

@userxx even after some of them would shower at mine they’d still have a shitty arse straight after. So hideous!

@viago the older men were definitely more respectful and discreet as they had more to lose by being caught than the young student types would. I definitely think porn has a lot to answer for too with why some of them were too rough

Glad I found this. My friend does webcamming selling pictures etc although insists she would never become an escort as she’s too afraid of the implications.

Do you wish you just stuck to webcamming? Did you make less or more money then escorting? Would you give someone the same advice and tell people not to webcam?

What is your biggest regret?

I only did camming for a few months when I was 18 so it’s been quite a while and not sure if the money to be made is still similar now, but back then I made £1.20 a minute (most of the shows were around 10 mins long). The website (adultwork) then took a 30% cut so i’d make about £8.40 in total for ten mins. I definitley made far more money escorting and it was easier in a way as I would only have to do one booking per day and I could then get on with my day and not have to think about it. With webcamming I would have to be sitting around all day and evening waiting for people to book a show, and i’d then have to do the same sort of routine over and over again in the shows which became very boring very fast.
My advice to someone who wanted to webcam would be to not show your face. Wear a mask or have the camera pointed at an angle that cuts your head out of it. I’d also tell them to have a normal part time job as the money is far too unpredictable to rely on. Some weeks you might get loads of bookings, and other weeks you might only get one.

My biggest regret is getting involved in the industry full stop. Yes, it helped me earn quite a lot of money during my 20s and I was able to buy a house and go on nice holidays etc. But the longer it went on the more my mental health suffererd and it impacted so many other parts of my life. I wish i’d at least only done it part time and held onto a normal career

What an amazingly strong woman you are. Your honesty is great.

Have you ever considered helping girls who want to stop escorting to do that? I think you'd be really great at that.

Back when you were still doing it, if someone had asked you if you were happy escorting, would you have been honest about how bad you were feeling, or would you only have talked about the positives and insisted it was all great?

@familywoes i give a lot of advise to girls just starting out in the business on the Saafe forum. I always dream about winning a huge jackpot on the euromillions and being able to give a lot of the girls on that site a chunk of money so they can do something else with their lives.

@orchids it would depend who was asking me. If a client asked if I enjoyed it then I would have pretended it was all amazing as the key to the business is returning clients, and none of them would have wanted to return if i’d been honest about how depressed it all made me.

If someone else had asked me like a family member or friend then I probably would have been honest. I’d have my good weeks where i’d see nice clients and it would all be very easy and relaxed. But i’d have far more weeks where i’d be dealing with timewasters and having to stay in ALL the time to make sure I was available when bookings did come through. I would then get anxious before they arrived and it would be mentally exhausting having to put on a show with them that I was really bubbly and outgoing and horny.

@Namechanged9911 I admire you for your honesty and your generosity of time and money if you had it!

how has it left you feeling about men in general?

Is there any advice you have for other women in general as a result?

Why do you think men visit prostitutes? Do you think they're not getting sex at home or is it because they want something different?

What did most men want, if there was a pattern?

Thank you.

No questions but thanks for your honesty OP.

Out of ten, how many men made you just think "fuck this shit" and want to quit?

What was the most common non vanilla thing you had requested?

@brain I have quite bad trust issues with men now. I try and just believe my DP but it can be difficult when I’ve spent years around so many men who were cheating on their partners.

Quite a few of my clients would open up to me about why they were visiting prostitutes (probably because they felt they couldn’t be open with anyone else about it). 99% of them said they did it because they weren’t getting enough/any sex at home. There would be the odd few who would tell me how they had great sex lives with their partners but just enjoyed being intimate with lots of different women and struggled with monogamy. It was hard having to bite my tongue and not tell them what I thought!

As for what most of them wanted, it was usually very vanilla stuff like kissing, cuddling and the standard sex positons. Usually half of the booking would be spent lying there chatting. Think they were just craving intimacy and wanted to feel desired (even if they knew deep down it was all an act).

@downstairs out of every 10 bookings i’d say 1 would make me want to quit (usually terrible hygiene issues or just being too rough with me). And there would maybe be another 1 or 2 who would be hard work but not completely awful. I always preferred seeing regulars as i’d feel relaxed around them.

The most common non vanilla thing was either spanking or watersports (they’d pay extra for me to wee on their body as they lay down in the bath. Don’t see the appeal at all but it was quite popular).
I didn’t do anything too hardcore like anal sex, deep throat or letting them cum in my face. I don’t enjoy stuff like that in real life so certainly didn’t want to be doing them with randoms

Do you still go to therapy ?