Well this is interesting for me.
I am a woman and mother and, get this, not defined by my OH's work.
I happen to be an investment banker (yes, woman can do it too).
The salaries are massively overpaid, with bonuses in particular. I do what I do because I love the thrill of the markets, but I don't agree that my time is worth more than a person who cleans my office. Absolutely not.
I give in abundance to charity and get involved in hands on charity work too, honestly the biggest blessing of my fancy job is being able to do this.
To the pp who mentioned sponsoring two kids to go to school in Africa, please know, you are giving those children a life. I have seen this and can tell you, you are changing the world. It's a beautiful thing to do. The kids know that someone has decided to care about them, that is as valuable to them as education and practical support.
For taxes, yes it's PAYE over a certain rate. I'm with a large institution, I stick with that, plus manage my own investments. I don't need to obsess over it because I have food, shelter, clean water, there we go, everything else is extra. So I invest, but I don't go crazy to make absolutely everything possible and have every advantageous tax scheme or method. I have more than enough, life it too short.
There are ways to step out of the PAYE system and still be able to say "I pay all my taxes" when really, whilst it's true nothing illegal or tax avoidance related is going on, those with connections and the money to do it find ways to "optimise" (i.e. reduce) their tax liability. I don't know for those I don't know personally of course, but I pay my taxes can mean very different things!
Hedge funds are not investment banks. I don't know what to say further on that. Other than I had and still get offers from both and I now which direction I ran in.
I think whether I had seven zeros knocked off my salary, or added on, the things that jump out at me are this.
Not giving to charity. That is sad and selfish. I've noticed that the people with the least often give the most. I also know what a joy, privilege and responsibility it is to share. I fully intend on dying penniless, having joyfully spent my life being blessed with the opportunity to share in the lives of others. I will go out in style:)
Not spoiling children but not showing them the example of generosity. I'm not sure I can reconcile the two.
Defining myself by my OH. Oh come on, do we really have to keep doing this?
Yeah, I go to the gym, I volunteer, I the care of kids, I do a million things at once and barely sleep, I am me, not my partner! He's not my other half quite frankly. We're equals. Also, I am a boss. I'm at no ones mercy for the way I live my life and I want my daughters and all the young girls in my life to see that.
I could have married a banker or a painter or a cleaner. I respect his values. That's it. His bank balance and salary are his business and don't define me.
For getting into the industry, firstly it's massively changing from old boys club, but not quickly enough. For me, masters, PhD, international experience, financial interest and flair (working class background, a lot of university), plus the confidence to be trusted by my bosses, colleagues and clients.
Sadly I have also come across people who are there with very blah level of skill, if it can even be called that, but they are part of the old boys club with old family connections. In the end though, they aren't so good. They make a crazy amount of money, but haven't had to work so I don't think feel the same reward or appreciation.
I don't want to retire early personally, but I am working, not waiting on my spouse to stop working. He can stop whenever he wants. Stay at home Dad it up later if he wants, it's his career. He isn't defined by me, am not defined by me.
And my kids know that charity and kindness is both an obligation and pleasure.
Got to run but can we please quite the I'm the wife of an x AMA
How about, I am... AMA.
Not helping the cause here ladies, not helping. If you are a SAHM, wonderful. Define yourself as that, not your husbands partner, because honestly, those kind of suggestions are everywhere in big careers and it takes a lot to be seen as otherwise. Every female colleague I have is unbelievably excellent at her job, top of the field, remarkable mind and skill set. That's what we have to be to get there. Every man, nope, not at all.
Enjoy your day everyone, be kind to someone with something less than you materially, you'll be amazed at the priceless gifts they'll give you in return!