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Original poster

I'm a hijab wearing Muslim woman, ask me anything!

469 replies

hijabijabi · 12/07/2018 19:03

Happy to answer all questions, but most comfortable with questions about my experiences - I can try to answer questions about Islam but am no expert, and other Muslims may hold different opinions.
I'll only be checking the thread intermittenty, so my answers might not be immediate.

OP posts:
BentOutOfShape · 15/07/2018 17:22

Faith should not blind you to humanity and reality

Exactly.

QuackPorridgeBacon · 15/07/2018 17:22

Jayfee No apologies needed. I’m actually glad to see someone else saying the same. It’s really confusing to me.

Jayfee · 15/07/2018 17:25

Ayaan hirsi Ali book infidel.. very insightful about her journey from female Somalian Muslim refugee to Dutch MP. Sorry if someone has mentioned it on the thread already.

serenajneedsashag · 15/07/2018 17:44

It upset me when I visited Egypt and I saw a family on a beach with the dad happily swimming in the sea with the children and the mother stuck in a dark cloak, baking on the beach.

OP, do you think that fair?
Please answer this question.

serenajneedsashag · 15/07/2018 17:48

OP, do you watch The Handmaid's Tale?
Do you see similarities between the handmaids being forced to wear certain items of clothing and the men can wear what the with your own religion?
Do you enjoy being subservient to the men?

serenajneedsashag · 15/07/2018 17:49

the men can wear what they want and can go out and about freely.
A complete contrast to certain parts of the world, where women (even in this day and age would you believe) still have to be chaperoned?

serenajneedsashag · 15/07/2018 17:54

OP,
I respect that you feel strongly about your religion.
What's it like going into the mosque, on a regular basis, to pray?
Surely you do that?
I mean, you wear the hijab as a sign that you are committed to Islam, so I'm assuming, that just like the men,, you women are able to go into the mosque on a regular basis to pray?

Right? Hmm

Clionba · 15/07/2018 17:56

Unlikely, as more than half of the mosques in the UK are closed to Muslim women.

Dumbledoresgirl · 15/07/2018 18:00

May I ask what may appear to be rather trivial questions but are genuinely asked as I don't know any Muslims.

  1. You say you do not have to wear the hijab when with members of your family. Is there a strict list of who constitutes a family member in this case? E.g., I imagine brothers, father, sons count as family, but what about uncles, uncles by marriage, brothers-in-law, cousins, 2nd cousins, etc. How far does family extend? Also, does that mean you don't have to be covered when in the presence of little boys?
  1. Theoretically, if you were on a mountain side or open countryside, with no one else around, or only family around, could you take the hijab off and feel the wind in your hair? Have you ever done so?
  1. Do you have to go to special hairdressers to get your hair done? Ie ones where there are no men and a closed place so no men can walk in on you?
  1. Are there medical exceptions? If you were in a car accident say, would it be all right for passers by/paramedics to remove your hijab to check you over?

Sorry if these are silly questions.

DreamADream · 15/07/2018 19:14

Can I ask about au pairs? I was thinking about this randomly the other day. Would a hijab wearing au pair be able to remove her hijab in the house of her employers?

My understanding of an au pair set up is that you become like one of the family. I'd bloody hate to be wandering around my home and feel the need to be covered up!

Original poster
hijabijabi · 15/07/2018 21:32

serena, yes, I live in large city where most mosques allow women to enter, and I go regularly. Also in my husbands home country all nearly all mosques are open to women, and they are very beautiful so I enjoy praying there.

Dumble:

  1. yes, a specified list, so brothers, fathers, husband, father in law, I can take it off in front of.
  1. Defintely yes!
  1. Yes, there are a few where i live
  1. yes of course, preservation of life and health definitey comes first.

dream

No, she'd have to keep in on in that situation - when I stay with my in-laws (including my husbands brothers) I wear a lighter smaller one which is more comfy indoors.

OP posts:
Original poster
hijabijabi · 15/07/2018 21:33

serena in addition to this, I used to be on the mosque committee, along with several other women, so had some say in how the mosque was run.

OP posts:
DieAntword · 15/07/2018 22:54

@Vashna although it’s tangential to the thread surely you know if you were brought up in a devoutly catholic area that the immaculate conception was the conception of Mary? That it describes the catholic belief that Mary was conceived without passing on “original sin”?

Also the rib thing is not always interpreted as you say. Eve comes from Adams rib not his head or his feet to say she is neither above or below him but by his side.

Belindabauer · 15/07/2018 23:31

Some very good points raised here.

Op- I really cannot understand why you choose to wear a symbol of female oppression. No matter what you say, it is just that, a reminder that in Islam females are subservient to males. Stop trying to deflect this by quoting other religions, so what?

I cannot help but feel you are like someone who wears a swastika on their clothing, then trys to defend it by crying ' the swastika is a sign of peace!'
All of which is true, however you cannot escape from the fact that it does represent oppression and has terrible implications for some sections of society.
You have been told the origins of women covering their hair ie in Greece to signify that they were not prostitutes, and the disgusting misogynistic implications that carries, yet you still try and defend your decision blatantly stating that you yourself are not contributing to the subjugation of women, but you are!
You are acting like a handmaid.
You are enabling this shitty abuse of women to continue.

Lots of atrocities are carried out in the name of religion and these maniacs justify it by religious writings.

mrbob · 15/07/2018 23:41

I read he had sex with her at 9/10 actually. But still having sex with a 13 year old is really disgusting. It’s an outdated practise and I still don’t understand why anyone would follow him now knowing this. How do you know how little girls felt back in then?

And yet the same happened throughout british history and no one says anything

And many of the things you are criticising Islam for go on in Christian communities around the world. So much ignorance

mrbob · 15/07/2018 23:43

People seem to be convinced that Muslim women are all oppressed and want to tell them how they feel and how awful their lives and choices are rather than LISTEN to them... By doing this you are the problem

Clionba · 15/07/2018 23:46

Yes, a lot of men would consider challenging misogyny to be a problem. However, we will continue.

HawkinsIndiana · 16/07/2018 00:49

Clionba well said.

MrsCatE · 16/07/2018 01:34

What do you think about cousin marriage - particularly within the Pakistani community where interbreeding has been going on for so long and has given rise to huge medical issue and massive burden on NHS. Would you be happy if one of your children married a first cousin? I know it's legal here but very rare amongst non-Muslims.

Jayfee · 16/07/2018 09:18

As a convert op chose to be Muslim. Most Muslims have no choice. How easy is it for a Muslim to leave the religion? How easy to marry out of Islam?

Vashna · 16/07/2018 09:24

hijabi - I was thinking more in terms of the neurosis around the Biblical concept of female virginity and sin which is common across other religions too. Also whichever part of Adam’s body Eve came from, the message is clear as far as I’m concerned.

Can I ask again - if the Islamic message is one of peace and equality, why is it that this message has never been able to translate into an Islamic society of peace and equality for all? What is going wrong do you think and why isn’t the message getting through?

Also (I apologise for so many questions), what is your stance on Muslim men with multiple wives? My Egyptian neighbour has a second wife with him here in London and he told DH his first wife is in Cairo with unfortunate mental health problems? I realise this marriage set-up is more common in some Islamic cultures than others and the wives always live separately, but still - could you imagine yourself being happy for your DH to take a second wife as permitted in the Quran?

Jayfee · 16/07/2018 09:36

Op why have you only answered me of Serena's very pertinent questions?

Oliversmumsarmy · 16/07/2018 10:36

As a convert op chose to be Muslim. Most Muslims have no choice. How easy is it for a Muslim to leave the religion? How easy to marry out of Islam

I think it is very easy if you want to and under a certain set of circumstances.

The ones I know who have left and married out/changed religion have all come here on their own and then been in circumstances where they have been surrounded by other people from all walks of life.

Gradually they see how much more freedom and choice there is and out goes the conservative clothing and restrictions on alcohol and they are going out with and marrying non Muslims

I think you can get some who come here on their own and stick to the Muslim community so they have no experience of anyone outside their community. So have a completely opposite experience

CrystalChronicles · 16/07/2018 11:25

Blimey, I think some posters need to stop hounding the OP. I’ve asked some sensitive questions myself but I wouldn’t dream of demanding an answer from her. If she doesn’t want to answer she doesn’t have to. She was clear in her OP that she was most comfortable with questions about her own experiences.

Aswad · 16/07/2018 12:02

Time and time again I've seen these threads hijacked by those with their own agenda. You can tell the difference between those with a genuine question and the arrogant know it alls. OP please ignore the latter as they already have their own opinions and nothing you say will convince them otherwise.