I live in a commune ... AMA

[NoCatsOnTheTable]

We prefer the term "intentional community" though

DP and I share a large rambling ruin house with 10 other adults and 6 children in total. We all have our own bedrooms and families have their own living room too but there is also a shared living room, office space, 4 bathrooms, 2 kitchens (1 meat 1 veggie!) and a sort of utility room in one of the outbuildings with washing machines etc.

I've got 3 children (14, 8, and 5) - the youngest two have lived here their whole lives.

Everyone I meet always has loads of questions (no, no we don't practise free love) so go on, AMA....

(I'm going to bed but will be back in the morning!)

[Helloflamingogo]

Are you religious?

[goingagain]

Are you in the UK? How did you get into it?

[WhatCanIDoNowPlease]

Do you lock your own rooms?

Is there anyone there who gets on your nerves for no reason?

[CarcerDun]

Can I join?

[NoCatsOnTheTable]

Fuck no! None of us are, well there's a bit of dabbling in paganism (Beltaine and Solstice fires for example) but that's it.

[NoCatsOnTheTable]

And no nothing is locked except the workshops/studios in the outbuildings. The front door doesn't have keys either (we are super rural and there's always someone in anyway).

[MiniTheMinx]

Do you own a share in the property? Is domestic labour socialised and shared?

[Shinygoldbauble]

Who owns the house?
I'm from a very large family and have often thought I'd love communal living.
Especially when my children were younger I felt quite lonely and wondered what it would be like to live in a commune.

[ThinkingCat]

Is 4 bathrooms enough for 16 of you?

How many of the adults go out to work?

Is the housework mainly done by the women?

Do you all eat together?

[NoCatsOnTheTable]

How we joined and the shares question are kind of linked, I can't explain too much as it's potentially too outing but we paid £1 each for our share in the co-operative that owns the property we live in. We are all directors of the co-operative and pay rent to the co-operative that's pegged to the lower end of the average for the area.

[pennycarbonara]

How long have most people lived there? Have people left (and then had their places taken up by others) because they didn't get on with others or disagreed with ways the place was run?

To what extent is it self-sufficient in food?

What sort of jobs do people have there?

[NoCatsOnTheTable]

Every adult that lives here works except for one woman with a very young baby. There's a teaching assistant, a manager of a local shop, a mechanic, a university lecturer, and an emergency service worker in employment and the rest of our members are self employed (building/gardening/cleaning/painting).

Housework is done on a rota and we regularly shift the rota round so everyone gets the joy of toilet cleaning once in a while. Some do more cleaning but some do more wood chopping or livestock wrangling (for example). Me, I'd rather clean a toilet than milk a cow any day

[purpleme12]

Why do you live in a commune? Why did you decide to? What are the benefits?

So your children like it?

[NoCatsOnTheTable]

4 bathrooms is fine - that's one between every 4 people! Also we have a composting toilet outside.

[MiniTheMinx]

I'd love to do this. I'm very envious.

How did you find out about it? Did you know the other members before you moved in?

[itscaaaaaminhome]

What’s the point of it?

[NoCatsOnTheTable]

Couldn't afford to live anywhere I liked, and couldn't stand the insecurity of private renting any longer. I knew people living here already and when some rooms came up I jumped at the chance. Met DP a year later and he moved into his own room here when I got pregnant with our now 8 yr old. We have our own rooms which suit's me just fine

My children love it here. The younger ones have never known anything else and my teenagers friends all think it's amazing because they get to do stuff like milk cows and attempt to catch cuddle feral kittens and build dens outside and sleep in them and light fires to cook dinner on. The adults mostly leave the kids to it, we don't tend to intervene unless it's dangerous or messy to the point where we will end up clearing it up for them otherwise. All the children go to the village school except my teenager who gets the big bus to big school (as the little ones say )

[NoCatsOnTheTable]

What's the point of anything? What's the point of owning your own house?

[lastnightidreamtofpotatoes]

Ooh is that a Rose How ey Co-Op? I personally can',t imagine anything worse so would be very interested in what you think the advantages are.

[stationthirteen]

Do your younger children have school friends over on play dates or do other parents tend to keep their distance?

[pennycarbonara]

attempt to catch cuddle feral kittens

Your username is making me smile even more after reading this bit.

It does sound quite wonderful and I think these things are a great idea but I couldn't do it myself as I need too much space from other people and their noise.

[FreeofPills]

oh that sounds brilliant

my question was how you found out about it but it sounds like it was luck.

I think this is such a good idea and such a great way for people to get access to proper house and gardens.

[LOL7]

Do you all help 'parent' each other's children?

[Hidingtonothing]

Can I move in please? Sounds fab

[NoCatsOnTheTable]

No we all parent our own children. Obviously the nearest adult will always step in and remove dangerous objects or deal with a bumped knee etc. And there's usually someone on hand to keep an eye on children if a parent has to nip out. But it's not "one big happy family" by any means.