I live in a commune ... AMA

[NoCatsOnTheTable]

We prefer the term "intentional community" though

DP and I share a large rambling ruin house with 10 other adults and 6 children in total. We all have our own bedrooms and families have their own living room too but there is also a shared living room, office space, 4 bathrooms, 2 kitchens (1 meat 1 veggie!) and a sort of utility room in one of the outbuildings with washing machines etc.

I've got 3 children (14, 8, and 5) - the youngest two have lived here their whole lives.

Everyone I meet always has loads of questions (no, no we don't practise free love) so go on, AMA....

(I'm going to bed but will be back in the morning!)

Everyone buys their own food, though we do pool for stuff like giant containers of eco friendly laundry liquid and some wholefood co-op orders

We have a couple of families, two couples without kids and some childless people. The oldest member is 64 and the youngest 23, then kids ranging from 12 months to 15 years old.

My oldest child doesn't really mention it at school I don't think. None of their friends seem remotely bothered when they visit though!

I know this is very old but I'm wondering what lockdown was like for you? I imagine in some ways wonderful technically you was in a bubble but I imagine also hard?

Do your children have autonomy? If they told you they wanted to move into a family home, would you?

@namechangeanonymous Lockdown was genuinely rather lovely in many ways. The kids (and adults really) didn't suffer isolation like so many have. But it wasn't easy and the pressures on us were similar to everyone else. Some members have elderly parents who they were desperately worried about and couldn't visit, someone lost their job, etc etc. It wasn't without stress and bust ups. But yes, if I'm honest, we had an easy lockdown compared to many. A lot of my friends who had previously said they'd hate living like this, have since said that lockdown changed their minds and that they'd rather have been here than in their house.

@MrsSkylerWhite I don't really know what to say to that because how many children do have autonomy over where they live Do yours? If they announced they wanted to live in a commune, would you move to one toot sweet?

I have loved this AMA! I would like to know if you are all expected to maintain/decorate the house?

@pupcakes

I have loved this AMA! I would like to know if you are all expected to maintain/decorate the house?

@pupcakes yes! We share the maintenance of the property (and the rest if the work needed to keep the place going, admin included), and have regular work weekends to do bigger jobs. We do get builders/plumbers/electricians in when necessary though obviously.

We can decorate our own spaces however we want pretty much. My oldest currently has a black and flouro yellow bedroom 😣

Haha, my DS now has a black bedroom which I hate but he loves it!

Fascinating.

What acreage of land do you have, and what do you do with it? How many of what types of livestock do you keep?

Such an interesting thread.

Most of the things I wanted to know have already been asked and answered, but can I ask what you do at Christmas time - do many of you spend the day together, ie, have dinner together?

You mention washing up, are there 16 of you in one kitchen without a dishwasher?

Bit late to the post but I have really enjoyed reading. Thank you OP.

@ChazzaGirl it varies, some Christmases most of us are here and sometimes we've had to draw straws for who stays at home!! (Someone always needs to be here for the livestock). Last year about half of us were here and we had a big shared Christmas dinner which was nice if a bit chaotic.

@FolornLawn two kitchens! One meat/dairy friendly and one smaller one that's vegan. When we have communal meals the washing up gets done by the person who cooked, which sounds wrong but saves a lot of faff over a separate washing up system. Otherwise everyone just does their own.

@Usou I don't want to be too specific but it's a decent sized smallholding. Enough that you can't hear what's going on at one end from the other end! We have a small flock of sheep, three goats, a handful of chickens, plus ducks, geese, and 5 ponies, and of course people's pet cats/dogs. We had cows when I started this thread but they have since moooo-ved on We grow some fruit/veg and have a small orchard with apple and plum trees.

Thanks!

Too "outing" ?

Sounds ok. But is it always untidy or messy?

I’m wondering if you’re one of the mums from school - I won’t ask any probing questions to try and find out! But there is a similar set-up just outside our village and DS goes to school with one of the children from there. They’re a lovely family and it always looks like a really nice set up when we pass. Reckon I’m too antisocial for this to work for me but all power to those who can

Do you all have a similar ethos on certain issues, like green issues (if someone bought a massive unnecessary gas-guzzler, would that cause rumblings?) or ethical issues (like voting in similar ways, or having a massive Amazon habit or similar?)? Or do you try to live and let live as much as you can?

Are you allowed pets?
Do you have massive house parties?
How do you sort out the bills especially in view of the huge utility bills you’re likely to get?

Would it be frowned upon or "not in the spirit" to have your own dishes that you don't let others use, to bypass their poor washing-up standards?

Do you have a spare room where visitors can stay?

So interesting!

How do you handle someone who isn't pulling their weight?

I think a pp asked this, but do you have a spare room for guests?

How did you start the co-op? Did someone have a deposit?

Great thread!