I'm Jewish AMA

[Bobbiepin]

Just that really, brought up (relatively) orthodox if that makes a difference.

Please note, I have an opinion on the situation in the Middle East but I don't believe that Zionism is a part of Judaism and don't really want this to turn into a discussion over Israel.

Also, I can answer to my knowledge of the faith and my experiences, others may have differing understanding and wouldn't agree with my opinion.

@halfwitpicker my grandfather wrote a book, self published, just for our family - so that we would all know the story of how we are here today. Starting from his childhood in Berlin to fleeing the Nazis and coming to England, starting afresh, and building a new life, family and business. I love it because it gives me so much of a sense of immediate family history - he died when I was small, so it's incredibly valuable to me.

The coda to that story about fleeing in the middle of the night was that my great great grandmother insisted the family get the kids out, and she would follow. She told them not to worry and that she would be with them soon. She was true to her word, in that she did follow. She was widowed very young and by all accounts had quite an adventurous love life. She had a fling with an SS officer to get the permits not only for her to get out but also to get some of their things sent to England!

"could lead to a sense of segregation and the potential for a deterioration of relations in a community that had historically integrated well."

All a bit wishy washy, especially as this deterioration has never happened anywhere with an eruv. I remember the apocalyptic ravings of the anti-eruv protesters in the late 90s. None of what they predicted was borne out.

Mini - progressive communities vary but some are quite traditional and women can get fully involved. Give it a try if you want, many are friendly.

An eruv border can be a natural barrier like a river or a thin wire on poles can be used. It’s essential if you have young children so you can go out the house on shabbat. One of the reasons people move to borehamwood is because it has an eruv (and it’s relatively cheap, near Jewish schools and areas).

Bananafish your grandpas story sounds so interesting.

Are men allowed to have sex outside of marriage, wondering because of the long abstinence due to mensrration.

Interestingly my (Jewish) fertility consultant said that the laws around Niddah can lead to what is known as halachic infertility - where the woman has a shorter menstrual cycle and ovulates prior to immersing herself in the mikvah. Or may ovulate on the day of immersion which is borderline and dramatically reduce chances of conception.

So sometimes women will come for ovulation induction to try and extend their cycles in order to conceive

I was thinking that earlier. Some people have 21 day cycles and menstruate for 7 days before the blood clears. You could always miss ovulation which is 14 days before your next period, in those case.

I don't notice the eruvs around here (I think from memory there are more than one not too far away) but it did involve getting permission to put up 40 poles or something which in a time when we are trying to cut down on street clutter was not that popular with everyone.

It is a self check.

No men are not allowed to have sex outside of marriage. Tough luck for abstinence. They learn self control (hopefully...)

As i said, some people think contraception is forbidden except in the most extreme circumstances. These people are quite likely to look overworked... As a side point, women are not obligated to have children.

Eruvs cause a lot of fuss with residents, but as others have said, they are barely noticable yet they enhance the shabbos of so many people.

Thank you for an interesting thread. Someone wrote upthread, and I've read it elsewhere, that many Jewish families are leaving France as a result of antisemitic threats and/or violence. We are moving to France shortly, and while we have generally found people welcoming and friendly, it's hard to gauge the prevalence of racism and antisemitism in French society when we ourselves are white and gentile. DD2's father is Jewish, and he left me when I was pregnant. We're not in contact with him. My question is, should my DD keep quiet about having Jewish ancestry in order to avoid potential trouble? I think she looks quite Jewish, but with blue eyes and light brown hair. I want to protect her but I don't want her to feel that her Jewish origins are something to be ashamed of. She's 9, and quite young for her age.

I know most MNers are in the UK, but I'm hoping somebody can answer this from personal experience or that of their friends IRL. I've obviously googled this, but it's hard to know how many newspaper accounts of French antisemitism are truthful reflections of reality, and how much is just political grandstanding by islamophobes and/or those keen to discredit the far left.

Is it true that Jewish men are not allowed to masturbate and do you think that mostly they adhere to this strict law?

How would you feel if one of your children converted to another religion?

When I was in 6th form in the mid 00’s, a classmate of mine converted from Judaism to Christianity. His family took it very badly and he didn’t live in the family home for some time thereafter.

should my DD keep quiet about having Jewish ancestry in order to avoid potential trouble?

No she shouldn't but she may want to. I've not lived in France but I do read the news and see how difficult it is to be openly religious from any faith. I'm open about being Jewish in the UK but I'm cautious about who I'm open with, IYSWIM. I hate to say it, but it's not something I would shout about in France.

Is it true that Jewish men are not allowed to masturbate and do you think that mostly they adhere to this strict law?

Yes, religious me abstain from masturbation in order to not waste sperm, which could be used for a more constructive purpose. As for how many men stick to that, I couldn't say. I would have thought ultra Orthadox men would and it would be observed less in the Reform or Liberal communities.

How would you feel if one of your children converted to another religion?

DH and I have decided that our DD will be raised in the faith and will be educated about her religion and her heritage up until which time as she is bat mitzvahed. At that point she becomes an adult in the community and is entitled to make her decisions. Would I be disappointed? Well, yes, probably but I wouldn't kick her out or love her any less. I would make sure that she has fully considered the implications of a conversion though.

@Bobbiepin thanks very much for your reply. At the moment it's not a case of my DD being openly religious, rather about being of Jewish ethnicity on her dad's side. Of course when she gets older she may want to explore the Jewish religion and of course I would support her in that, though as a culturally Protestant atheist I wouldn't be very useful. I think we'd better be discreet to start off with, until we see how the land lies. She's only just become aware of her dad's Jewishness, although she knows about racism because we went out before the presidential elections and tried to scrape off the Le Pen posters which some A-hole had plastered the town with.

One more question: is there stuff that non-Jews say to Jews or about them which is inadvertently offensive? For example: once my ex criticised me for asking what somebody's Christian name was (meaning of course what was their first name) because "Christian name" implies everyone is or should be Christian. So I've learned to always say "given name" instead. Are there other common examples of problematic language or beliefs that you notice in acquaintances who aren't knowingly racist?

Is it true that Jewish men are not allowed to masturbate and do you think that mostly they adhere to this strict law?

I expect many ultra Orthodox Jews where to this. Anyone else? I wouldn’t have thought so for a second

As for converting to another religion, I would most likely be very upset and unable to comprehend it but ultimately my children are more important than any religion and I would accept it and love them as much as ever.

I teach History in a beacon school for Holocaust education and we use the 'Roots of antisemitism' video at the bottom of the page below as a start to exploring the reasons for the Holocaust. We then investigate how Nazi antisemitism differed from Medieval antisemitism.

www.iwm.org.uk/learning/resources/the-way-we-lived-exploring-jewish-life-and-culture

Beans - are Europeans racist? only I keep reading about migrant ships, which seems to be blatantly racist. Obviously some Jews are racist and most aren't, like with other people. You can't really generalise about 15m people.

There's obviously a separation between the decisions of the Israeli government (how they treat Ethiopian Jews & entrenching in law that Israeli Arabs aren't properly Israeli surely is) - but that can't be said of every Jew around the world, surely. There are just too many people in various countries living different lives, you can't generalise

Catholics aren't ''allowed'' to masterbate either, says something about it in the bible, onan/ onen (?) so it must be fairly universal accross judism and christian religions.

Beans - it was a ridiculous question, and OP probably had the sense not to get involved. I was trying to show how idiotic it was by posing a similar question about Europeans.

Over the weekend the Israelis spent a lots of money and effort in rescuing the white helmets in Syria. These are Arabs, not especially well disposed towards the Israelis (though I suspect that may have changed) but rescued nonetheless. How does that fit it with your "racist" narrative.

I am Jewish and I don’t think being asked my “Christian name” is offensive.

I have always corrected to my “first name is ..... “

But I understand that we live in a country with Chrisian roots and that the term “Christian name” is part of everyday language. There is no need that be insulted at such small things.

And I agree with Sam76 answer to Beansonapost.

Are Jewish people racist?

Well, I don't know all Jewish people to be able to answer that question

Amongst all the Jewish people I know I'm not aware of any more or less racism than anyone else I know who isn't Jewish

Cos, people are people

Sorry to disappoint but there isn't one giant Jewish cabal

Are British people racist?
Are Europeans racist?
Are Hindus racist?
Are Sikhs racist?

I'm baffled as to how you would answer any of these questions, unless you know the population as a whole.

Assuming you're British, are British people racist?

If you can't answer that question, why would someone Jewish be able to answer the same about Jewish people?

I hope OP can give an answer. I have always suspected a lot of racism (intentional or otherwise) in the religion & culture I may be very wrong; as people are just people and this is based on my limited experience with Jewish people.

Come on then - what are you actually trying to say then. You obv have personal experience that has led you to suspect a lot of racism in Jewish culture. Why have you come to that conclusion?