I had an affair with a married man when I was 19. Ask me anything.

[CanYouFeelTheForce]

Jumping on the band wagon.

I see lots of threads on here about OWs and affairs but I don't want to wade in. So, here I am - ask me anything.

Yes sorry English is not my first or second language condemn ** not condone sorry thank you for correcting.

I do find it morally wrong I personally wouldn't want to be in that position as op has been. However morality is very subjective and I do not want to judge her or anyone else by it.

There are so many morals that are difficult to pick apart to draw the line. For example some people find it morally wrong to eat meat and kill animals some find it acceptable.

I'm surprised you didn't get into trouble for sexual harassment at work.............well you probably would now.

And yes the bloke in this is/was the cheating scumbag who broke his vows but it takes two to tango.
Who knows if he'd had an affair if it hadn't been offered up on a plate & who knows if op had offered herself up on a plate to another married man whether an affair would happen.
And also swap the sexes in the scenario.
So I see the blame lies 50/50.

Actually change that to 60/40 (the married man/woman taking most of the blame.)

The married man should take the brunt of the blame, of course but the OW isn’t entirely faultless especially if they actively pursued the man knowing he was married/in a relationship. Some people are unknowingly the OW and that’s shit for them but to knowingly enter into an affair is a different ball game and I do think they deserve part of the blame for hurting the spouse/partner and potentially DC too.

What is the point of this thread. You're not seeking advice or in need of help. You simply want to discuss in great depth, a scenario which is only relevant to you and which happened 10 years ago. It's hardly an uncommon scenario either.

Nobody who starts an AMA is asking for advice or help.

Also people are agreeing with the above post and 'It's hardly an uncommon scenario' but also saying they don't beleive her.

Its not that bizarre, but it isn't something that's part of (most of our) lives and for that reason It's qualifying for an AMA.

Some people have had amazingly sheltered lives if they dont believe this has happened.

What is the point of this thread. You're not seeking advice or in need of help. You simply want to discuss in great depth, a scenario which is only relevant to you and which happened 10 years ago. It's hardly an uncommon scenario either.

Nobody who starts an AMA is asking for advice or help.

No but in most cases they are posting about something that is helpful to others eg make up artist etc or else its a topic of general nosiness interest eg escort. However this person is reliving in great detail an affair which affected the lives of real people including innocent children for no reason other than to attention seek. How awful for those people if they recognised this being discussed in such a callous (and seemingly extremely self satisfied) way.

Of course affairs happen. Nobody denies that. But the way in which the OP is obviously revelling in the attention from people discussing her affair is in really poor taste.

Ive not read every AMA thread but yes, the make up one is an exampe of a useful one (people can ask 'how can I make my lips look better/eyeshadow colour suitability etc etc) but I would say that's the exception not the rule. This one could also be helpful in understanding mentality and why people behave certain ways and do certain things, and what are their thoughts behind it.

The prostitution one is much the same as you've described, the stripper one, the ex addiction...I suppose I am biased due to having been on Reddit for a long time and this sort of thread is very common.

This one could also be helpful in understanding mentality and why people behave certain ways and do certain things, and what are their thoughts behind it.

I think it's very obvious why people have affairs - regardless of age or gender.

Selfishness.

I think it's very obvious why people have affairs - regardless of age or gender. Selfishness.

Or love

Or love
haha. If you can betray someone and lie repeatedly to anyone you don't know the meaning of the word love, part of which involves trust and respect.
I would be very wary of a relationship with anyone who left their partner for me. Sign of things to come imo.

Very little is black and white like that. Love or at least the belief/feeling that you are in love is likely to be a big factor in a large number of affairs.

OP, you sound mental tbh.

Are you indeed a man (in an office..,bored)?

I'd only ever said "morning" the same way as everyone did to everyone. I'd thought he was smoking hot for ages so one day I texted him (his number was on his email signature) "I want you, and I'm going to have you"

Pull the other one - it's got bells on it.

*I think it's very obvious why people have affairs - regardless of age or gender.

Selfishness.*

Not always. If someone's partner is beating out of them and they meet someone who loves and cherishes them ... (I have known this, close family member). I don't think she's selfish.

I was the ( pregnant!) wife in this situation, girl was a year younger and dh was 34. 5 years ago now but I can barely read this thread, the girl thought we had split up, we hadnt!