I'm a boring middle-aged woman - ask me anything

[Flippetydip]

Just getting into the spirit of things.

Flippertydip, my mid-70s mother had her fungal toe nails lasered (so that she could wear sandals). It got rid of the fungus.
Creams didn't help her.

How do you know when to finish masturbating or doing the sexuals if you’ve never orgasmed? Tricky one really, it just gets way too intense and then stops feeling anything. I'm not sure I can have an orgasm. I need to work on it.

6 cats is a lot - damn right it is - who's got 6 cats? I do not intend on being a cat lady, mad or otherwise, I'm severely allergic to cats. and I don't like their evil, world dominating ways I have a very lazy greyhound.

user did she? How did she go about doing that? Mine are painted at the moment to enable me to look at them when I'm barefoot without weeping.

Have you ever tried Vick’s Vaporub for your fungal nail infection?

Mythicalchicken yes I have, and grapefruit seed extract, and colloidal silver. None of it seems to make a sod of difference. Still, in reality there are worse disabilities to have. The only real disadvantage is that two of them keep falling off. (There so needs to be a vom emoji on MN) I think it's a combination of running and the fungus. Bluergh. But it does make them difficult to paint

Persevere with the Vick’s. And add tea tree as well. You need to apply it about 10 times a day, under the nail. And keep filing the nails down.

Have you tried a vibrator to orgasm?

Cinnamus - not yet - I have just bought one actually. I need to make time for it. How do you schedule that in to your day?

Mythicalchicken 10 times a day??!

Well flippety when I was younger I assumed a life like yours just sort of happened to people but as I've grown up I've realised just how precarious the whole thing can be, how lucky I will be if that's me, and how much work it's going to take. So sorry from my younger self for underestimating you, and from my current self (early 30s, baby) what would you tell yourself at this point?

Is 45 middle aged? Surely not!! I would say 55 surely. I don’t want to be middle aged in 10 years Do you have one of those Next summer dresses that are V necked and kinda shapeless?

Elinor at the point I'm at now I tell myself daily how bloody fortunate I am to be health, to have a husband I love and who loves me, two healthy, fantastic children who I expected to love but didn't think I'd like anywhere near as much as I do, a dog I adore, a faith which sustains me, hobbies which I really like doing, excellent friends, a peaceful home and a good job.

When I was younger I thought I wanted travel, excitement, a job in the diplomatic corps - it turns out actually, this is what I really wanted. I'm so lucky. And a lot of it has just happened really. I didn't expect to get married, but I had a friend who I went out with and that just developed, I didn't expect to have children, but we had sex and that happened, I fell into my job, I fell into my hobbies. The one constant has been my God. I'm beyond fortunate.

Crikey, that was deep!

I am to be HEALTHY that should say, not health!

Fascinated by the no orgasm issue. Good luck with the vibrator. i think people schedule it in the day because their sexual urges tend to be just about the most powerful thing in their life after needing to drink and eat so it tends to be fitted in some how or other over other stuff.

45 - if that is your age. Have you started the menopause yet?

Are you happy?

No, I haven't started the menopause yet, although I think I'm having some perimenopause stuff. My mum didn't go through it excessively early though, so I'm assuming I'll be the same.

Sexual urges are intense at certain parts of my cycle occasionally, the rest of the time I couldn't give a fig. Is everyone else getting it on all the time? I would love to have an orgasm just to see what all the fuss is about.

Are you happy - yes, very. Bored occasionally, frustrated occasionally, stressed occasionally but overall happier and more contented than I've ever been in my life.

Mismatched middle aged implies by definition that you are half way through your life - in fact I've just googled it - it says "the period before early adulthood and before old age, about 45 to 65" so there you go - I'm early middle aged :)

No, no next V-neck dress - is that a pre-requisite for middle age? I wear shorts and t-shirt most of the time at the moment, and jeans and sweatshirt in the winter.

elinor so very true! I like this thread :)

Were you raised Christian? I've been thinking about going to church for a couple of years-since getting married, which was a transformative experience. I have the faith but no idea about the practice!

Elinor I was taken to church as a child, not sure I'd say I was raised as a Christian - my dad is an atheist for a start. I came to it seriously in my teens, drifted a bit and came back to it. Just go along to a church, you'd be made very welcome (and if you're not, go to a different church!) or find a church that's doing a Christianity Explained course or an Alpha (although I know nothing about that.) In what was/is your marriage transformative (I assume I'm allowed to ask questions on this thread as well?!)

Googled laser treatment, sounds good. I consider myself middle aged at 41. Being boring goes without saying.

It was serious! The vicar was amazing and the church felt ancient and loved. I felt like I was in another dimension for the whole ceremony, and I literally felt the blessing pouring down on me. I've felt different as a person and as a partner since-I had no idea marriage would be so spiritual. I feel it's made me a better person, with more to live up to. All a real surprise.

Elinor what an amazing experience - did your DH/DW feel the same? Definitely try church, it might not be for you, but it really might.

Are you worried or sad at getting older. I'm a bit older than you and sometimes I wish I wasn't getting older. I've literally nothing to complain about - fit, healthy, lovely family and no worries but I think I'm a little nervous of the uncertainties of ageing.

Always - a bit worried I guess. Sadder at my children getting older I think. Worried about loss of memory and incontinence, worried about not living long enough to enjoy my retirement. I'd be happy to stay at this age I think. Confident enough not to give a toss about what people think, fit enough to walk as far as I need and run for fun - what's not to like?

Oh no ! I’ve just bought one of those “ shapeless , v -neck “ dresses ! Thought I looked good in it .... apart from my lily white legs.... until I saw a taller , slimmer and browner woman wearing the same one yesterday. Oh heck ... where did I put the receipt ?
By the way ... I’m not middle aged ... wish I was . I’m way past it !

DH, yes he did-maybe not to the same extent, but he definitely gets it when I talk about it like this. I think it was powerful for everyone, we had a tiny, simple do and the guests all cried through it as well.