I’m beautiful - ask me anything

[Missbrick1]

I can provide relationship advice & beauty tips 😉

Are you built like a brick sh house in rl? That pesky jealously again!

Which laundry rules do you always follow?

How long do you spend enhancing your beauty each day? Presumably you don't need to spend long at all right? As mentioned I’m lucky to be naturally beautiful so don’t spend much time at all day to day. I do wear make up even though I don’t need it as my partner likes it.

How can I make my skin look young again (I am 103), I tried using polyfilla mixed with paint stripper and my nose fell off. What are your tips for a youthful wrinkle free skin without use of dangerous chemicals or boswellox (which is obviously unethical)?

If I was you I would just give up & die, it’s a lost cause at 103.

Aha.....Yasmin le Bon.....you're giving your age away OP! youre Mary Berry aren't you!

How do you feel when taken men gawp and stare at you right infront of their partners?

Do you reckon all this beauty gets more action in the bedroom op? 'Cos being a-little-less-than-perfect I think I probably do clock up a few sympathy shags...that I wouldn't want to lose tbh 😬

You're Samantha Brick?

Whose this Samantha brick

What do your farts smell like? Roses of course!

Tinkobell Luckily I do not have this problem but could recommend you a surgeon.

Very funny - are you a bloke by any chance? Women can be funny too!

How do you find the energy to be funny in this heat? I’ve acclimatised as always spend the summer cruising the Med, plus I am currently relaxing by my swimming pool. Our home has some fancy air con system which helps.

do you put hours of thought into perfecting a ‘I just threw this on but somehow manage to look absolutely fabulous’ look, or do you prefer to go for a ‘I know I look high maintenance bit WOW I look amazing’ look.
Good question I am one of those people who look great in a bin bag, I think being tall & having fake breasts helps. As mentioned before my style is classic & I stick to what suits me. However sometimes I look like to get very dressed up & do my hair va va voom style & wear a tight dress & heels. One has to be careful to not over gild the lily but it does feel good to have everyone’s head turn.

Have you ever met a women more attractive than yourself , if yes how did that make you feel ?
Thanks for taking time to talk to us ugly bugs.

Are you Helen of Troy?

I have rather strange feet, they look like little flesh bricks with sausages attached. In this hot weather I would like to wear sandals, but feel I might be subject to ridicule if I expose them. Could you give me any advise on making them look more acceptable. Picture attached

Are you Amanda Holden OP?

What an insult, I think she looks twice my age!

Thong, boy shorts, hipsters or hip huggas? Depends on the situation, but in general it’s thongs or nothing.

Do you feel bad for the number of cars that crash into each other when the drivers are dazzled by your beauty?
You are probably single-handedly responsible for the whallopingly high insurance premiums in your city . I assume you are teasing me, don’t hate me because I’m beautiful.

Do you feel sorry for us less gorgeous mortals? Yes because life is so much easier when your beautiful.

have you ever stopped traffic with your immense beauty?

Do your legs, literally, go on forever?

I apologise- you’ve covered the traffic.

If you had a crisp named after you, what would it be?

Do you get cars stopping in the middle of the road, not at crossings or anything, to let you cross, and everyone around tilting their heads and saying "aaahhh" as you cross over, and that sort of thing? All the time, children & babies are always staring at me too but I’m not maternal at all.

Do you still look beautiful if you have no sleep for a week? Gosh I don’t know, I’ve never experienced such horror. I would assume yes but not as beautiful if that makes sense.

And what about if you go for a run on a really hot day? Any plastic surgeon will tell you that running is so aging for the face so I don’t run.

are you samantha brick?

Meh. TBH you're giving away sweet FA in terms of trade secrets here OP, nothing that could help an old minga like me. I'm off to scrub a pan (toilet) then sink prosecco. Shall leave you to sniff your rosey farts!

Oh god, I meant advice. How embarrassing.

Aha.....Yasmin le Bon.....you're giving your age away OP! youre Mary Berry aren't you! I’m in my mid 30s & have always thought Yasmin had good work done.

How do you feel when taken men gawp and stare at you right infront of their partners? It depends I certainly would not tolerate it from my partners & it can be embarrassing. However if they are well known or on the Rich List I might have a little chat!

One has to work to their strengths Tinkobell. I am amazing in the bedroom, I am very flexible & an excellent pole dancer.

Have you ever met a women more attractive than yourself , if yes how did that make you feel ?
Thanks for taking time to talk to us ugly bugs. Not really, all the women in my circle are beautiful but they tend to have that more fake completely bought look. My hair, nose, teeth etc are my own.

Are you Helen of Troy? An old boyfriend gave me that nickname!

AlisonCHaynes First off all be confident, no one is likely to look at your feet. Positively you have nice skin & nails. Do you have regular pedicures? I would go for a sandal with maybe a little wedge & lots of straps, don’t some shops offer a wider fit?

I just wear Chanel # 5 in bed......what about you? If you say, winceyettes then this is def Mary Berry!

oh & fake tan works wonders.

Hello there @Missbrick1.

What is your favourite pizza topping?

Do you consider your beauty more a curse than anything and wish you could be more like a normal woman?
Do you think Meghan should change her stylist, the poor cow?

Do your legs, literally, go on forever? Well they are long but not really unless a Daily Mail journalist was describing them.

If you had a crisp named after you, what would it be? A brand name? Allure maybe.

I just wear Chanel # 5 in bed......what about you? Why a custom blend of course! Made in Paris. Women always should have their own scent.

Are you a nationally recognised celeb OP......not just in the town of Chalfont St Giles?