Page 7 | Should we pay for daughter's celebratory meal

Granville82 · Today 19:50

Eluj · Today 14:59

Our daughter married long term partner abroad . She asked if we minded if they just had a quiet cremony in a registry office with no guests. We said it was fine by us so long as they are happy and its what they want. She has come to UK ( although living abroad) to see my parents and my sister directly after marriage abd we have all agreed to have a nice meal in a restaurant to welcome newly weds. I think we should pay the resurant bill ( 9 of us) Husband says no.
Am I being unreasonable to insist we pay bill. We can afford it.

I don't think you should override what your husband thinks. You are both right in a way.

Swmk · Today 19:51

No answer about whether he is the bio dad. I’m guessing not

HappyViewer · Today 19:54

If you can comfortably afford it then yes.

LoveWine123 · Today 19:55

OP you haven’t said why he doesn’t want to pay.

user1492757084 · Today 19:57

Of course you should pay.
Your tight arse husband should be thinking up a congratulationary toast to them both.

Be lateral thinking and extend the invitation to a handful of other very close friends or family of the couple too.
Bring some flowers. How exciting and wonderful!

Vaguelyclassical · Today 20:08

Eluj · Today 14:59

Our daughter married long term partner abroad . She asked if we minded if they just had a quiet cremony in a registry office with no guests. We said it was fine by us so long as they are happy and its what they want. She has come to UK ( although living abroad) to see my parents and my sister directly after marriage abd we have all agreed to have a nice meal in a restaurant to welcome newly weds. I think we should pay the resurant bill ( 9 of us) Husband says no.
Am I being unreasonable to insist we pay bill. We can afford it.

Why are you never ever going to tell any of us, despite repeated requests, what your husband's justification was for not being prepared to treat to dinner his newly married daughter who had not even asked him to spend a fortune on a fancy wedding? It is the key bit of information here!

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · Today 20:13

VisitingInkMonitor · Today 18:11

Why doesn’t he want to pay OP - please explain as otherwise no one can actually offer any perspective

This.
He sounds incredibly mean, since you said he acknowledged they were saving you lots of money by having such a small wedding.

I would go ahead and do it anyway. He doesn't have to come if he objects so much. But if he does, having made such a big deal about it I would expect him to pay for himself.

Notajogger · Today 20:14

The normal thing would be for you to pay, I think. Weird that he doesn't want to. Does he have a problem with your daughter? Is she not his daughter? Even if she's not his bio daughter, weird that he doesn't want to pay to be honest.
What a turn off!

PurpleFlower1983 · Today 20:19

I would absolutely want to pay for this, it would be a lovely thing to do.

remotescontrol · Today 20:28

YABU to leave out the important detail.

WHY does your husband say no?

BruFord · Today 20:29

@Eluj Has he explained why he doesn't want to pay for the meal? To me, it would seem a no-brainer.

Or is there a backstory about your side of the family always expecting to be treated by you and he's fed up with it?

One of my DH's sisters is abit like this and we're abit fed up tbh.

SP2024 · Today 20:33

Of course not unreasonable. This is the type of thing my mum would pay for even if it wasn’t to celebrate a wedding, just as a family get together. Think of it as a wedding gift

pinkdyno · Today 21:03

remotescontrol · Today 20:28

YABU to leave out the important detail.

WHY does your husband say no?

Exactly. It makes no sense. As others have said a meal for nine if you can afford it is an average Sunday.

what’s the drip feed?