Would you help in these circumstances

They saved you thousands .... He could have said no or you could have paid someone else...

Maybe next time don't ask or accept a gift from anyone or pay them at the time.

No, you may need the money and they may not pay it back. How did they save you money and how much? That could make a difference if they are asking for much less than that.

Nope.

Anyone remember the poster here a year or so ago, who lent a huge amount of money to her "friend" - the friend then took off and totally ghosted op, never to be heard from again. Op then begged her husband to sell his London nest egg flat to recoup the loss. The husband understandably couldn't get over it.

It was such a horrible story. Only lend if you want to and can afford to, but I personally wouldn't go near this with a bargepole.

edit

Sounds like you are under obligation to them.
I would ask how they know you have money to spare? I'd aim to be a bit more discreet in future, or say it's all in pensions/property.
As others have said, the fact that they are approaching you rather than just getting a loan is concerning as it suggests they can't get credit.
Is it for a fancy car or something similar?
Debt isn't something to fear if one manages it sensibly and has income.
If they are very good friends and it's for IVF I'd be more inclined to lend, but if it's something like that or for an investment and whatever it is does not go as they'd hoped, you can probably kiss that money goodbye. 😬

How much is she asking for, why can't she get a loan or borrow from her family,

What is her credit history. Does she have secure income? Does she really have no savings of her own.

On balance if your partner had said no, if say unless it's an absolutely desperate situation.

If you do , only lend what to you can afford to lose. Maybe not the whole sum but part, and get amount and repayable schedule recorded win writing ?

I used to think that.

I think it depends on your friend and how reliable she is—but also what the money is for. I believe you said your husband is okay with it (but I'd insist on discussing it fully before agreeing anything). You've helped one another in the past (though not with loans of this amount). You wouldn't be in financial ruin if you never got the money back or it took longer than planned.

If you trust her, which it sounds like you do, I'd get it down in writing and go ahead with it.

Girl, it makes perfect grammatical sense. Not my fault you decided to attack me with poor grammar. HTH

Never loan money you aren't okay with never getting back. Like if you do it's a pleasant surprise, but if you don't you can still carry on with no impact on your life or finances. With that in mind, consider how much you CAN lend but definitely not the entire thing, then set up an IOU with payment terms and have them sign and date it. Be sure to communicate that the future of your relationship is on the line because this is a trust issue. Then see what happens.

If you are not in a financial position to lose the money you loan out to people, then say no. I loaned a friend $50 in 1995 and never heard from her again. So I figure it cost me $50 to get rid of a fool which is a pittance of what i would have spent on gifts and treats had we stayed "friends". Sometimes it's a good way to test who is true and who is not.

My concern would be that they see how they saved you money so in a weird way if they dont pay you back you haven’t lost out. Don’t lend it.

Honestly, if you want to do it, and DH is happy about it too, get a loan with repayment terms and conditions written up by a solicitor and witnessed by a notary. She is probably absolutely fine about paying you back, but this adds a layer of protection.

No.

And if they expect it because they did you a favour that's a massive red flag that they were setting you up for a long con.

Yep. Anyone who is paying attention learns that reality does not align with hoping for the best in people's behaviour, and learns to protect themselves.

People who choose not to do that are either lucky, or a glutton for punishment.

I had a friend I thought was family and had integrity. Turns out they didn't. The debt ate at them and they manufactured an excuse to break contact. Still think hi wife should have kicked him out. So now I have no friends and am out the money. Lose - lose situation so keep your money.

I doubt your friend was setting you up but wonder whether she thinks that because she did you a favour
it's ok to ask you for one.

In other words , do you think she'd ask you for money if she hadnt given you advice that saved you money?

It's very hard to give the best advice without knowing the amounts involved, the type of advice given and purpose of the money now. If it's not a crazy amount of money and she gave you advice based on professional expenses and expertise that would benefit you in the future I would be tempted to gift her back half what you saved and not ask for it to be repaid in cash. But for her to give you future professional advice kind of like a labour exchange. This seems more on line with friendship. However you're obviously considerably richer than me so this is a very theoretical idea

Agree with this. You said it was a loan amounting to less than the amount you saved, which you said was several thousand. So it's not a large sum to borrow from a bank.

Your polling is not clear. So I voted yabu. No I would not lend a significant some of money to be paid over a long period of time.
Can I ask how much and what period of time?
What if you need it?

Never discuss money with friends or family. By all means share information but your money is your money.

Had your friend taken her own advice she could have been better off financially surely?

Did she give you the advice seemingly with strings attached intentionally?

Do you have a plan for non-payment - the friendship will suffer from both sides.

What sort of friend asks to borrow money for a nice-to-have item? If they can afford to pay you back, they can afford to take out a proper loan with a bank. No. Friends are not banks.

Your DP is being ridiculous IMO. The friend didn't lend or give them money. That said, if the friend is for example a high powered lawyer who gave them free advice, that might be more almost equvialent to having given money. I've asked OP to clarify,

OP, can you at least give as a hint as to what the money saving favour was? I don't want to pry, but I am actually a little confused and if you clarified, it would help me answer. Someone upthread suggested legal advice, which I would think would be very helpful and actually equivalent to having given money.

I think I was the latter