To want to completely change what my DC eat even when DH thinks I’m making a fuss?

I haven't read the full thread but how is your unemployed husband paying for takeaways three times a week?

You don’t have to go whole hog all in one go. If they’ve not had eggs /weetabix for breakfast before then they’ll not know what it’s like.
Get some kid friendly knives and they can help chop cucumber etc.
Even if it’s just occasionally it’s a start. 🙂

What is DH doing whilst you are doing the morning routine? Surely whilst he is at home he sorts the older boys whilst you sort out the baby. Don’t buy chocolate cereal and other similar foodstuffs

It's as much about what you don't buy as what you do- don't buy biscuits, cereal,crisps, cookies etc - you DH needs a good talking to, doing no cooking, having no job and buying junk food- not a great combination.
Cook nutritious decent food with plenty of veg and fruit- if you don't have all the junk food in they can't fall back on it.
It will be a battle, they are used to eating rubbish and won't want to change, and you need to read DH the riot act, he is undermining your efforts and not helping at all despite having far more time at his disposal than you.
Your 5 year old may not be fat yet but he is well on his way to getting there- well done for trying to make positive change.

I'd suggest making small changes rather than wholesale changes. Taste buds take time to adjust.

You could have prepared carrot sticks, cucumber and sugar snap peas in the fridge, cut up apple and babybels which you just put out before dinner. Try to find something protein that they'll eat as a snack.

Normal squash I don't think affects their teeth. So perhaps don't worry about that right away. But if baby teeth need to be removed, which they usually do rather than fill, it can affect the growing in of their adult teeth so it does matter.

If you want to batch cook, I've purchased some cup and half cup size cube 'ice cube' silicone trays. You can pop out the portion you need and they defrost quickly. Like the stocked brand concept but hopefully food they'll eat.

There's an NHS healthy swaps app you could look at. E.g. pretzels or baked crisps instead of normal ones.

It sounds like you have a lot going on. Your h really needs to step up to do his share while he’s off work, and an important part of that is prepping healthy meals for you all.

you could look at the Eatwell Guide - https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/eat-well/food-guidelines-and-food-labels/the-eatwell-guide/ And NHS salt guidelines: https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/eat-well/food-types/salt-in-your-diet/

then maybe check what your dc eat in a typical day. That might scare your h into waking up and being a bit more helpful.

You will really need to be on the same issue with this, though, for it to work.

You’re so doing the right thing. your kids will thank you in the future.

If you buy abd cook the majority of the food just start making changes op. If there’s less junk in the house when your husband steps in to air fry a nugget he might instead have to do pasta and salad.

if he wants to continue eating junk that’s his choice but you and your DC deserve better.

breakfasts eggs on toast, porridge, Weetabix, yoghurt, fruit, occasional treat cereal once a week I’d still pick ones that are nutritious but call it a treat option or marmite peanut butter or healthy choc spread on toast.
lunch at school or homemade meals with lots of veg and salad.
tea if eaten at school homemade soup is the easiest or omelettes baked potato, beans on toast if it’s cold weather. Otherwise sandwich, salad, fruit platter.
snacks yoghurt bowl of fruit on the side
and once a week a treat like sweets crisps that sort of thing.p, bowl of icecream. Treats are still allowed there’s just less of them as they aren’t automatically in the house.

don’t make things harder for yourself but just implement mini changes. I’m surprised the school fed your eldest nuggets and chips. For some kids that would have been their only decent meal of the day so the school should be feeding them better food.

1. I think FAR more people eat like this than would care to admit it. These are the foods that are quick, easy, cheap, liked by kids and heavily marketed to us. Us mums are trying to work / house keep / do activities with the kids and it is hard to find the time to cook 3 meals a day.

1. It is Amazing you've recognised the issue. I've had a recent epiphany that we're over eating junk and it just has to stop. I have a chocolate addiction and the kids always want it when they see it (fair!). We all snack too often. So while main meals can be healthy, I sabotage us.

1. Your DH sounds like he will be a major obstacle. If he is not on board you are way more likely to fail here. Surely he wants better for his children, himself and you? Would it be worth watching one of those "super size me' or 'UPF Britian' documentaries with him?

1. Prepare for resistance. You'll probably make nutrutious meals that are totally refused. There will be a big adjustment period, but stay firm. When we get back from a week at my parents, the kids only want cereal and snacks and it is HARD to try and get them back on the porridge.

Good luck! I'm right there with you.

I think it would seem really overwhelming to do a complete overhaul, particularly if DH isn’t on board and with three children, time is obviously precious.

I’d swap breakfast for Cheerios or weetabix and coco pops if they wanted them as a treat on the weekend

lunch keep it to wraps, sandwich in wholemeal bread or a bagel thin with chicken, better quality cheese slices, houmous etc and serve it with raisins, Soreen, apple, banana or some other fruit, and maybe one small sweet thing

tea can still be oven food some days but things like omega three fish fingers, chicken chargrills etc

Can also make homemade pizzas from either naan breads or bought pizza bases and you add toppings,

pasta with pre chopped veg eg peppers, onions, mushrooms whatever else, cooked in a pan, a lot of Heinz sauces are upf free then some grated cheese on top

cheese and tinned tomatoes on toast

sausage mash and beans

Swap pasta for wholewheat pasta, bread for wholemeal bread, no sugary chocolatey cereals, treats are once a week and just a small pack of chocolate buttons or similar, or make homemade biscuits, cornflake cakes, fairy cakes etc.

Ive got a husband who would also eat very similar if left to his own devices so it’s been a slow change but I will tell him as well that if he wants to eat what he wants that’s bad for him, that’s his choice but me and DS won’t be.

you said it yourself, OP: you’re the one doing the food and your partner doesn’t do any cooking. You have control over what your family eats. Good that you’ve recognised things need to change, but maybe introduce change gradually? The BBC Good Food website is a good source of recipes . Good luck.

Well done for recognising that there is a significant problem and trying to do better for your family. It sounds like you are trying to make some really positive changes.

UPF is awful and so bad for all of us, let alone children.

I am so sorry to hear about your husband. It sounds like he is trying to deliberately sabotage your good efforts. Is he overweight or obese? Perhaps get him to read Ultra Processed People. It's really quite eye opening.

I am sorry I don't have any better suggestions, but you are most definitely not being unreasonable. Your husband is behaving terribly though. What he does himself is for him to decide, but it's neglect to subject children to that. I'm not being funny when I ask this, but it will sound that way, genuinely asking if he has at least average intelligence? Does he understand the information?

Sorry, wanted to add as well that if he isn't working, what on earth is he doing with his time. He really should be doing a lot of the heavy lifting if he has nothing to do all day. He should learn to cook!

Actually, if he likes take away food, why not get him fake away cookbook. It's healthy homemade versions of take away type food. He can learn to cook using that

Its a lot to deal with when you have a baby op.

Can i give you my breakfast tip ..this helps my kids get some protein in....make pancakes. You can make them the evening before it's very easy I use the bbc food simple pancake recipe.

I ket them have some Nutella on top or you can even get healthier versions of chocolate spread. They like it and ira more filling and healthy than cereal.

Do they like cheese ? Or could you add scrambled egg to the morning ?

Dont ovrwhelm yourself just try small changes . Your husband must understand surely thst vitamins and what kids need to develop and their brains work come from fruit and veg not nuggets and crisps?

Would he watch those TV programmes about upf foods? With those dr twins.

Prepare breakfast before you wake ds1 up if needed.

for now change from coco pops to rice crispies if that makes the transition easier, you don’t need to do everything at once.

If neither of you are currently working how on earth can you afford all those takeaways?? We can barely even justify it once a fortnight and we both earn good wages.
As others have said, your biggest problem is your DH. All you can do is do what you can. Stop buying the things and when the kids are with you feed them better.

Some of these posts are smug and unhelpful BTW. Maybe try changing things slowly

My daughter is autistic and we have been slowly improving her diet and it can be done the best approach though is really avoid battles.

Keep offering fish for example. A study showed children have to be offered new food 30 times before they try it.

Parents make a mistake and give up too quickly.

One reason your eldest child may have difficulty waking up in the morning is that his diet is lacking. It's possible that once his diet improves, he will have an easier time getting up. Maybe not, of course. He may never find mornings easy. But it's a possibility.

Several people have suggested making slow or gradual changes, but with certain things I think that a complete ban can be a better option than a tapering off. Chocolate cereal would be one of those. I remember when I was a child, we used to have that kind of cereal. One day my mother decided we wouldn't have it anymore. And that was it. Never again. We did have Weetabix and similar cereals, though. The result is that from early childhood I have never eaten the ultra sweetened breakfast cereal and as an adult it just would never occur to me to buy it for my family. So I do think that sometimes ripping the band-aid off can be the best option.

If it's any help, we do have Coco pops but I cut it (like a drug dealer) with a healthier cereal. They just have a dusting of the fun cereal on top.
And it's just as a treat, not every day.
So you don't need to go cold turkey.
Also although most cereals have sugar in and some more than others, a lot are also fortified with iron and B vitamins so it's not all bad.

I haven't RTFT but speaking as the mum of an autistic nearly 6yo and a probably autistic nearly 2yo, both of whom have quite restricted diets

If you give your kids snacks that have any substantial calories in, they won't be hungry enough for meals. I see that EVERYWHERE - people are so afraid of their kids being hungry that they give them snacks with no nutritional value, then they're not hungry enough for actual meals. I swear that if everyone stopped giving their children crisps, biscuits and cereal bars as snacks, they would eat sooo much more of their meals.

My 5yo today had

Breakfast - buttered (homemade bread) toast, fruit, glass of milk
Lunch - fish fingers, fries, peas and sweetcorn
Dinner - cheese wrap, cucumber and raisins followed by crisps and a gingerbread man

She snacked on pepper sticks, and drank water between meals.

So not the best diet in the world but equally she had 5 portions of fruit and veg and ate the protein/fat of fish fingers, cheese, two glasses of milk and no sugary snacks.

I guarantee if you cut the snacks down intake at meals will increase. I'd go gradually - maybe you ran out of squash and 'the supermarket didn't have any' and that's the first thing to go. Then when they're used to that, unlimited fruit and veg on offer for snacks but nothing else.

But equally, go easy on yourself. My kids are the same ages as yours and you also have a newborn so you have a LOT on. Their diet needs an overhaul but slow and steady and manageable is a million times better than going in all guns blazing and stressing yourself out.

You can make the changes you know your children deserve ❤️

Oh and in my house, cereal is not a breakfast, it's a dessert. So you can still have Coco Pops etc but they're for after you've eaten a main meal.

Even one takeaway a week is a lot.
Well done for recognising it needs to change.
We don't buy chocolate cereal. We have a bread maker and make our own bread.
Snacks are fruit, rice cakes. Maybe a packet of crisps (3 or 4 x a week but they're for packed lunch not random eating).
Tonight my eldest two (pre teens) ate falafel, a Lebanese style pitta bread, houmous, and a home made salad of tomatoes, cucumber, feta, pomegranate, chickpeas. This is typical of our evening meals style. Lots of largely unprocessed foods. Eldest got given a packet of percy pigs recently. Didn't even open them for weeks and there are still loads left. We don't gorge on food. Dhs family are naturally larger built. Mine are slim. 1 of our kids definitely follows his side as he is stockier but eats the same as the middle one. I know he'll have to watch what he eats more as he gets older.

Well don’t forget trying to tackle it when you have a baby!

I think this sounds like a DH problem. I have a similar co parent re food and he’s obese, my step kids were obese and now we share a child it was constant arguments over food for a good while. I had to show him our child’s BMI and frame it as child abuse to set a child up for life like that. I know he now only pretends to follow healthy eating as much as he claims as my child tells me he has cake for breakfast at his dad’s. And I’m the evil parent because I only serve healthy stuff at mine trying to counter balance the junk eaten at dads. But he has improved. Dad was actually present for a medical appointment where they weighed out son and I asked if that was a healthy weight while looking at dad. Dr gave him a talking to for me or I think he would still be telling me ds is fine and I’m the one with the problem.

so my advice is try to come at it from the health side but not just health now but long term health. Obese kids often fight with their weight all their life. Cavities so young are linked to health. You know already so many reasons that’s why you want to address it. Have school weighed your child? I think they send letters home and upset load of parents from what I’ve read on here before but it might help you to have that to back you up

I have a 12m and a 6 year old and I get the morning juggle my 6yo is a poor eater and currently having to have fortified shakes which is yet another battle

When the baby was a newborn and on days when my partner was working on site my morning routine was
7.20 wake up and feed baby who usually went back to sleep
7.45 get up, leave baby asleep turn on 6yo bedroom light on and ask whether she wanted porridge or toast and tell her to come down stairs
7.47 downstairs make myself a cup of coffee and put breakfast on
7.50 - 8.10 negotiate with 6 year old to come down stairs, have breakfast and that school is non-negotiable she needs to get ready. If running late I would take my clothes downstairs and get changed whilst persuading her to get ready
8.10 back upstairs, get 6yo dressed, put baby in a clean nappy
8.15 hair and teeth for 6yo, my teeth
8.20.shoes coat and out of the door to walk to school.
I had breakfast and fed baby once we got back from doing the school run.

On day when my partner was working from home he did everything with the 6yo and me and baby stayed in bed.

Since baby has been weaning I go downstairs at 7.30, put the kettle on and porridge in the microwave or bread in the toaster. The go upstairs and get both children downstairs and sit them at the table dish up breakfast, feed baby and myself. Battle/negotiate/persuade 6yo to eat breakfast and get ready for school. Often the battle looks like it's the food, it isn't, it is just a way for her to express herself.

It wouldn't take much tweaking to make the food better than it is. Buy better bread - rather than cheap white bread look at thick cut lightly seeded bread. It takes you from 80kcal per slice to 110 kcal but it also takes more chewing and is more filling you might then find that they don't need the second breakfast. We make our own bread which is a lot of effort I know but it we need about half the amount of bought bread to feel satisfied. The main reason we make our bread is because my daughter has a soya allergy and making our own is easier that finding a supermarket that has bread and can eat.

Chicken nuggets aren't necessarily the work of the devil - make the switch to ones that are as close to whole chicken breast fillet as possible, accompany with pasta or new potatoes and veg instead of chips and ketchup. Or stick with the chips and accompany with chicken breasts and veg. Try to make one swap per meal that shifts the dial in the direction of healthier. Look at the ingredients in the chips - due to my daughters allergies we buy the ones in Aldi that are only potatoes and oil.

We do the opposite of many, if my daughter hasn't eaten much for dinner she has to have more for pudding but we ensure her pudding is also balanced. She often has fruit, DF yoghurt, chopped nuts. If she has eaten well she gets to chose the fruit and doesn't have to have the yoghurt and nuts if she doesn't want them. We offer a handful of granola in place of the nuts too.

The NHS have a tool for calculating a child's BMI for a rough idea of values my daughter was borderline overweight (90th percentile) when she was 4 and 15kg at 95 cm. She's now 6 and 107 cm and 17kg which is ~35th percentile for BMI.