To be mortified and so upset about how this date ended?

There is absolutely nothing to indicate this was the case.

This thread is insane.

You need to get over it. It's really not a big thing.

Just stop thinking about it now. You're wallowing. Take a bath and read a good book.

The OP said she was worried that he saw a side of her he didn't like and that she'd come on too strong.

I'm the same, to me kissing is meaningful. However, fuckboys don't care, regardless of how old you are. I'm late 30s and they still exist, and it can be difficult to whittle them out. He's probably at a point where he is refusing to commit to anyone - it's not personal. Tbh I would have given up sooner with the infrequent dates (1 a month?) and lack of earlier kissing. Try before you buy.

Ask your mates to set you up on a date with someone else. Mixed sports clubs can be good too.

It is nothing. It's a 2 month non relationship.

It will partly be the hangover making you feel awful and embarrassed.

You might not get over this instantly but don’t let it become bigger than it is. Look after yourself and concentrate on feeling better without contacting him.

Whatever you do don’t try to contact him because that would just put you on an awful footing even if something did possibly come of it (although it sounds like it won’t!)

And that might well be the case?

She has no right to expect sex from him just because she wants it, and she knows that.

All the posts from women tearing down this man's character just because he decided he didnt want sex are awful.

I hope when that longing feeling ebbs away you’ll see he didn’t treat you well and that he gave you good and early evidence that he isn’t worth it.

I really hope you’ll see it wasn’t him that you were attracted to but the breaking the sexual drought and meeting someone off the apps…apart from that he sounds far too variable and complicated.

Remember that feeling as he strode ahead? That was your self protection kicking in. The rest is you desperately trying not to lose what your glorious imagination and deepest wishes created and superimposed on him. You are amazing OP worth more….

Thank you NEXT!

I guess both men and women can get put off by someone coming on stronger than they themselves wanted?

Happens to me as a woman too.

I have done so much more trivial things on dates. Last week on one, I called him out for being a deadbeat dad. 😅

DO NOT APOLOGISE.

He’s the one acting strange. Put him in your archived chats and don’t respond to any future messages. I wouldn’t block him as he will get an ego boost that he has bothered you.

OP, you didn't do anything wrong. He gave you very clear signals, after prompting by you, and then left you confused - not because he didn't want to go home with you / have sex, because he gave you every indication you were at least on that track, then became cold, distant, walked ahead and said there was no romantic attraction - that's mental. (for example, if he had stayed affectionate, but said honestly he wasn't up for sex yet but still made it clear he liked you, I doubt you'd have felt hurt / used).

I would bet he is gay, not bi (frankly, the proportion of men who are actually bi, in my view, is miniscule, they are gay but not owning it).

It therefore really isn't you. I hope you can feel better soon.

But that’s not what happened, he said not tonight I’m tired and I’ve got work, he was also drunk and said he’d like to see you again.

i cannot understand why thay means to you he didn’t fancy you and you reacted so badly and immediately

he only said he didn’t want anything romantic later when you got upset and annoyed, it was at that point he said no thanks. People can get the ick in a second and you being hurt he would not shag you immediately and not accepting his words as the truth, but thinking that even though he’d said set another time, he was lying and didn’t fancy you, is what gave him the ick, you were also clearly very drunk, so he did the right thing, it’s what happened when he said no that caused this to end.

i

But that’s not what happened. You’ve completely missed th3 whole middle section where he explained he was tired, had work and wanted to meet again, her not believing him, being hurt, and then the argument, and him then saying he didn’t want anything romantic, and her demanding an apology and saying he led her on, and him saying basically jist as he snogged her didn’t mean she was entitled to sex or an apology if she didn’t get it,

Op I think you’re just hungover and embarassed, just try to stop thinking on it and go to bed and sleep it off.

It sounds like he did lead you on, if someone says they don't want anything romantic then you would assume they want no strings sex, but he didn't want that either, so what did he want. He sounds a bit confused or messy.

Are you the poster who was talking to someone online who lived a distance away, had limited time available for dating due to being a single parent and had a long date near you where you brought ‘bits’ of food and drink with you, and was disappointed not to kiss?

No, I didn't! But you did!

Here's the relevant bit after he said he was tired (like, literally straight after that part in her OP!)

He said we'll meet 'some other time'
As we were trying to get me a taxi he kept walking ahead and became super distant. Finally I was like what gives and he says 'I'm not looking for anything romantic right now'

OP clearly replied to the brush-off, and understandably felt discomfited. He had been kissing her quite intimately. She suggested going home to hers. Absolutely fine to say no, but then we'll meet 'some other time'? Come off it. That's a really dismissive way of pushing her away.

Then he walks ahead, and became distance. She asks him and he says, he's not looking for anything romantic right now - two months into meeting up, after an evening of kissing and giving every impression he was into her.

She shouldn't have said the leading her on bit, as that's not something reasonable to say to anyone.

But he absolutely treated her poorly and that's nothing like someone saying, I'm having a great time, I really like you but I'm not ready for sex / that stage of a relationship.

He's gay, he isn't saying so, he gave in to kissing and then wanted to GTF out of the situation when it looked like it was progressing.

Mind games on the first date?! Errr, no thanks!!!

Forget him! He led you on and is a prick!

Try not to overthink it. I think he genuinely liked you but wasn't looking become a romantic couple but thought you might be. So he scarpered with indecent haste. I get you are disappointed but not everything in life turns out as we would hope.

At least you got some snogging practice in.

Notice I didn't say anything about sex, it was a comment that snogging someone is romance, so it was misleading to say a short while later he isnt looking for romance. Nowhere did I say that he should have sex against his will, or even infer it. It's pretty obvious the op wasn't saying she thought she was owed sex either.

I would just move on from it.

Yeah you will cringe a bit but neither really did anything wrong per se. Just be interpret things differently. I am like you in that I would not be kissing somebody just for the sake of kissing them. DO NOT hook up with him again though. At all. Even if he “changes his mind”.

If a man went ‘obviously a lesbian’ people would kick off, I know plenty of bi men who aren’t gay, they are bi. Not that difficult.