AIBU to wonder why anyone posts on Mumsnet asking for advice anymore?

The worst thing about posting for advice on the internet is that how you explain the scenario likely bears little resemblance to the actual situation. Certain things are going be emphasised, and other minimised or omitted as what people ultimately want isn't advice, it's validation.

The issue I have found is that sometimes you have to change a number of details to avoid the scenario being identifiable. Sometimes, a detail I have changed that I thought was irrelevant has ended up being picked up on by someone and criticised (when it didn't actually happen that way) or has led to me having to make further hasty improvisations. For example, I described a couple as husband and wife when in fact they just lived together and then due to an unexpected direction the thread took, had to invent a plausible reason for not having been at their wedding😆

Or when you specially say you’re NOT asking for advice (just venting), get it anyway, remind them you weren’t asking for advice and then get accused of being rude and ungrateful because people are “only trying to help you”

A post is obviously going to be one-sided, but it’s frustrating how others start making up stuff for the other side and skewing the thread. It’s one thing to say “maybe the other person was thinking x”or to call out the OP on things they have written as fact, but to berate the OP for made-up details is unhelpful and mean-spirited.

Yes this. I often write out a long post to vent, and then delete it because I know I’ll get shot down for it.

I've been here since 2006 and it was ever thus. I think people are more polarised in general now and more online than they were back then, so it seems like more of a pile-on. But I've asked for advice here just this week on what could be seen as quite a contentious topic and people were absolutely lovely.

When DD was little I had nobody to ask for parenting advice and MN was a lifesaver. I hope that parents in the position I was still find it to be so.

Absolutely! Always a tsunami of negative responses pinning blame - why did you marry him? Was he like this before? Perhaps they have ASD/ADHD/depression, did you do something awful first.

It’s like some posters are deliberately contrary.

See also the derailing and overanalysing - yes it is damaging to wash your hair everyday/no but I can’t/yes but you shouldn’t/no but I’m not rich enough

Yeah-but-no-but-yeah-but-no-but.

Tedious!

I think people sometimes need to write down the problem as a way of clarifying it to themselves. Or they want to talk it over. Or they have made up their mind already but want validation for the decision. They don't necessarily want advice as such. But you are right some responses can be unkind. I play a game with myself where I guess which direction the answers will go. It's not always what I expected.

I get what most of you are saying but... some of the pile ones are justified, when someone doesn't live in the real world and is incapable of reading the room for example. And they double down that their way is completely normal/common despite literally everyone saying otherwise. I'm not talking people being contrary for the sake of it or others just blindly following like sheep, I mean really obvious unanimous yabu - I fear some of you these threads may fall under this category.

Why even bother replying to a thread like that though?

Because they can’t help themselves, whether it be out and out shittiness or passive aggressive comments.

I remember when I was made redundant with a small baby on the 19th March 2020 (I think we all remember what else happened that week) and I was fretting because obviously nurseries were closed and so were job centres. I wasn't sure how I would be able to claim JSA when I couldn't Seek a Job. Some posters were absolutely awful to me on that thread and they're still here today. I haven't started many threads but I have ended up hiding all of them.

Interaction.
Some people just love a good a barney .