AIBU to wonder why anyone posts on Mumsnet asking for advice anymore?

If people are posting in AIBU for advice or support they are going to get snippy replies.

AIBU is all about asking people to take sides. If you don't want to hear that you might be in the wrong then don't post in AIBU.

Aibu is an awful place.
The amount of times someone replies, having made a few assumptions, invented a few facts of their own only to then spew out various insults to the OP is astounding.

The Higher Education board is full of people who teach repeatedly telling others they are ignorant and should not post. There’s also posters who say you should not post because you are “old”. This elitism is not supportive of various opinions. And we are allowed opinions even if others “know” more - except they don’t live in the world outside universities.

I agree with what you say but often,
instead of putting across a POV, people are immediately on the attack.

Wait, people on the boards here repeatedly sticking to one or two positions and refusing to entertain that there might be many ways to skin a cat?

You don't say.

YANBU and I love that within a couple of replies people started nitpicking, proving your point!

I looked at one this morning, where the OP was asking if isolation was a counterproductive response, rather than a different punishment in a particular instance. It was a microcosm of AIBU. So many posters just focused on whether the behaviour should have been punished, rather than whether the punishment was counterproductive, peppered with numerous insults and guesses about the OP. IRL, this doesn’t really happen. People are able to grasp that a response can be questioned (be it in a relationship, work, pub, school), without detracting from the initial behaviour.

There’s a pattern:
“I ate the rest of the chocolates, which was wrong, but now partner has turned the freezer off and all our food is ruined”

”finishing the chocolates was wrong”
”that will teach you to be greedy”
”were you parented badly”
”you must have done something else, my partner wouldn’t do this”
”obesity is a problem”
OP then says “I know I should have saved him some, but is his response normal”
Rinse and repeat as though OP has said nothing! “No wonder the NHS is struggling”
”do you know what palm oil does to the environment” “I bet everyone you have ever met is pleased he did this. Are you a CF in every area of your life”

Yes. If you don't apologise for your (minor) wrongdoings in the OP then most posters are too lazy or impatient to get their oh-so important point across to read the OP's other posts - so will never see it.

It's the ones where posters hunt down any discrepancies with previous posts that get me. Of course people change small details in a story.

@LindorDoubleChocSpoken like a true overgrown school bully 👍🏻

Excellent (& wholly accurate) example, bravo! 👏🏻

It think AIBU has always been nasty, but the other boards were genuinely helpful to me when DC were young. Now the most inocculous OP has potential to be a stream of abuse about why she bought the situation on herself.

Even if she did, she's asking for help and that's not helpful. Anything from weaning and toilet training to relationships, child behaviour and finances, people just want to attack and make someone who was already feeling bad feel worse.

I can't be doing with the 'blunt' nonsense excuse. It's perfectly possible to make your point without being an arse about it.

AIBU has always been the same, you need serious thick skin to post on here. Other boards aren’t so bad and I have had some genuinely really helpful advice on those in the past.

There was one where OP referred to her DP as DH between different threads. A poster actually picked this up! OP said she used DH to make it easier and avoid all the how long have you been with your DP/ you’re opening yourself up if not married derailments. That wasn’t good enough.

Most people know there will be some timewasters, bullshitters etc, but some posters derail thread after thread with their suspicions. “interesting first post” - who cares if it’s a first post or a name change?
People then justify “long time lurker, penis beaker, Mexican house lady etc”.

Aye but there is TONS of good advice on here! AIBU has always been a bit click baity but I get relationship & finance advice reading on those threads, meals ideas, product reviews and ideas of where to go on holiday!

Same! I work with someone who’s a senior-professional MN detective! So I will change certain details like ages or gender or locations on a post so long as it doesn’t change the meaning and saying you have a 10 and 11 year old rather than a 11 & 12 year old or saying DP instead of DH and so on rarely makes a difference.

@Doubleknow Name changes are called out. Your age is called out. Your thoughts and posts from 10 years ago are called out by some saddos.

Otherwise known as.. the mumsnet pile on

@Considery has it spot on !

I think some replies are from people using it as an outlet for their own frustrations and life circumstances i.e. they aren’t happy with their own lives so they jump on to have a go at someone else. I’ve particularly noticed it with relationship aibu posts. An incident a poster mentions is met with “I wouldn’t put up with that, I would leave”. Fair enough if it’s warranted but often times it doesn’t seem to be. If someone is leaving the milk out or doesn’t put their shoes away but otherwise is a caring respectful partner, then advising someone to LTB is a bit much.

It’s not a forum to share on now, I actually came here tonight because I am facing one of the most frightening financial abuse situations I could possibly imagine but I am too scared to post and get help because of this.

Mumsnet once saved me, years back, because of the amazing help I got here but my recent experience of trying to get help made the situation worse because of how my post was treated.

I wonder what changed here

Id only ask for advice if i was ready for the harsh judgement of the privileged.