AIBU to wonder why anyone posts on Mumsnet asking for advice anymore?

No one has a view on your reply
simple as that

as to why your reply isn’t posting… no idea

I am speechless that you think the actual detail behind your example would indicate whether the horrified poster was being unreasonable or
not!

To post on some subs on Reddit you need a certain amount of karma or your posts will be stuck in the spam filter and not visible.

I don't know, the more I've interacted with LLMs, the more I see how harmful they are and that's by design... because they did not design it out.

The basic premise was to launch competing versions to gain market grab first, even though Google, Open AI etc knew they were totally unsuitable for launch

Its quick, accessible and a lot of the time, its straight up incorrect,

The validation is a result of its sycophancy bias RHLF producing enough feel-good words so that you are supposed to overlook the hallucinations (the leaps it makes to infill the gaps). I've witnessed those hallucinations become the equivalent of digital gaslighting and on one occasion, outright lies. You then spend half your time performing QA on its output, trying to get it back on the original flightpath, which is about as productive as herding fog, because it has no memory and the next round is tainted by previous confabulations !

Its gamified in the same way as a William Hill slot machine.

Even if LLMs were trained using the cleanest data, only searched verified sources, and were free of both the hallucination and gamified validation designed to hack the dopamine system and keep those data centres churning at max rate, they would still just be a data-accurate, but poor mimic of human interaction

This paper is quite sobering

Agreed it’s most of the boards but AIBU is the absolute worst. Posters are just nasty for the sake of it.

I know - fairly sure that’s the problem bur not sure how to get around it as I can’t post without karma but can’t get karma to post! Anyway, it doesn’t really matter. Just don’t know of anywhere other than here or Reddit to post anonymously for advice!

Funnily enough, I just commented on somebody's remark on another thread that it was unpleasant and she had no business being so judgemental. She replied that what she said was true and I didn't seem to have grasped the purpose of AIBU!
In other words, she seemed to think that AIBU is a free pass to be as unpleasant as one feels like.
IMO, AIBU is supposed to be about looking for advice and support. Perhaps I'm the one who got it wrong?

YANBU. The behaviour of some people on here is shocking. Name calling whilst racing to the bottom on AIBU. Depressing.

I do think that a lot of people think direct and to the point is the same as being rude and personal and it isn’t.

So true. “The least charitable interpretation”.

We have options but why be so mean?

I would never slag anyone off on here but I can see why people do. It’s all anonymous and soooo easy. I’m not sure if particularly viperous posters get banned.

Yep

There is a rise in absolutes, with no shades of grey online. People will also pick on one tiny detail and derail a post or decide the OP is lying. Some posters have their own issues and sensitivities, which derail threads. I’ve seen some OPs lose their rag in the end and wonder whether that was the goal for some posters on those threads.

YADNBU! Someone posted once purely to ask if the bill they were given for euthanising a pet was unreasonable and if not, should she query it? Nothing more than that, she’d just had to rush this suddenly poorly little animal, to a nearby vet and she was quite shocked at how much it cost. Can’t remember how much or anything but tbf it was a huge amount… All said politely and without any hyperbole……

Well omg! She never posted again on that thread after her initial post as it descended into the most catastrophically bitchy pile-on I’ve ever witnessed on MN or anywhere else online tbf and that’s quite a feat. People were screaming at her in capital letters, asking her if she wants vets to feed their kids or not?? Twisting words & adding presumptions to fit their own narrative then proceeding to attack OP for their own presumptions, it was absolutely wild. They were arguing with themselves, essentially.
I remember DM’ing the OP to give solidarity and actually agree with her, that I thought it was an unnecessarily high amount, even for a vets and she was so upset bless her. Apparently she’d had one DM telling her she was such a bad person she should “just die” and that she’d “upset a lot of people” 🥴 I’ve never forgotten it and haven’t posted any of my own threads since, other than lighthearted stuff. Baffling.

Well I've just posted a difficult AIBU, and the majority of replies have been entirely well intentioned. Couple of posters trying to claim my question wasn't real and we mustn't ever question some things, and someone pointing out the tragic results of never questioning our sacred cows, one subtly cruel reply, but several people who took the time to explain in detail several things that have given me a very different perspective and may really help me navigate what the person I care about needs. I'll probably wake up to a pile on, but for now I'd say you're being unfair rather than unreasonable, because there's still good people on here willing to tell it straight in order to help, not destroy others.

It is possible you’ve been shadowbanned. It happened to me once, I was suspicious as suddenly no one was interacting with me and someone I messaged confirmed they couldn’t see anything I’d posted in the past four weeks. I can’t remember how I got it fixed, I had to google and it involved messaging in a specific way to the main mods who fixed it. They said it was just a glitch and happened every now and then. Try posting on a large sub eg casual UK, check their rules on how much karma you need, and post very bland comments eg ‘oh that’s lovely’ etc then you’ll know for sure. But do get it fixed, it’s a great website.

Thanks. I’ve only posted once, the thread is visible but none of my replies! I find it very difficult to navigate the rules with karma and everything, have no idea who to message and how!

If you’re taking serious life advice on an anonymous forum, you need to have a word with yourself. There are some absolute loons on here, and a disproportionate number of people who seem to have never visited planet Earth. They walk amongst us too, and have the vote.

But that’s kinda the point of the OP.

I have made great friends and got good advice here over the years (not in AIBU, maybe). It’s should be possible to get that on an anonymous basis.

I’m curious about what kind of people are so deliberately nasty on anonymous forums. Do they have a deep unhappiness with life and a need to take people down a few pegs to equalise? Or are they well adjusted people with a very nasty streak?

I agree OP, I posted on AIBU recently and got quite a pile on, including people telling me I must have been lying, or nitpicking. I told some of the nastier ones that their posts were a reflection of themselves, and I was told I was the one showing my true colours! I’ve sometimes got into a spiral of trying to defend myself but it’s so pointless and endless. Other times I’ve taken insults lightly and treated them with humour, only to be told off for that too! I’ve tried posting in relationships instead but I think it attracts the same people from AIBU.

I didn't vote because your YABU and your YANBU don't form a binary opposition and neither reflects my position, but I think that a lot of people get good advice, as well as a range of perspectives on MN if they are willing to triage the replies and filter out anything that misunderstands the situation or is off topic/irrelevant.

Personally I probably wouldn't choose AIBU though, unless I wanted a lot of quick replies (since it's faster-moving than most of the topic boards) or my question was genuinely a kind of poll on how many people think something I did is reasonable or not. AIBU used to serve a distinct purpose because it was the only board on this site to post a poll, but now I believe you can do that on any board here.

Yes!

Some people have no interest in actually being helpful and respond to those threads as a way of asserting their own sense of superiority.