AIBU to wonder why anyone posts on Mumsnet asking for advice anymore?

This place is a fight club 😂

If you want something sugarcoating ask a friend if you want a harsh truth ask on here.

I still post from time to time but it’s really hit and miss what kind of replies you get. I find the first few set the tone then everyone just agrees with those first couple. Plus like you say you’ll get people trying to catch you out even on the most mundane things. I had a very boring thread once years ago about doing someone a favour by allowing him to stay at my house for 3 nights for an event we were both attending and they acted very odd before and during. Someone went to the trouble of checking my posting history and noticed I was married and thought I must be lying as obviously my husband wouldn’t be happy with me allowing a man to stay over at our house. (Even though we’d both known him for a fair few years). It’s very strange how people just want the OP to be wrong/lying/a troll etc.

There are so many do's and don'ts that I don't think about when I'm posting on other forums.
I missed out the ageism thing and the weight thing, because there's so many 🤭.

I don't think the choice should be AI bullshit or having your arse handed to you on here.

MN was previously more helpful.

Herein lies the contentious thing I mentioned in my post - people are scared of AI , not because it's not real but for a host of other reasons, but talking about it is derailng the thread .

Like mentioning Temu even if you are totally skint will get you being told you are destroying the planet, funding child labour etc.

There is a new generation of posters that seem to lack 3 things
Critical thinking skills
Empathy
A sense of humour
Also a large group that nitpick inconsequential details of a post just to make a point ( see @Battiespost as an example).
I think as a general rule don't look to strangers on the Internet for genuine support or good advice.

Unless you post in a very niche area (like cancer, gardening etc) it’s mostly the same tbh.

I’m not sure your brain really differentiates too much between a written reply on Mumsnet by someone you don’t know, can’t see or hear and ChatGPT that you can’t see or hear (and also isn’t real).

I’d rather get kind, considered and helpful advice from ChatGTP (with some humour chucked in too, these days) than a snarling, aggressive response from someone ‘real’ on MN.

I’ve seen quite a few threads recently where someone has come on asking for advice, only to be repeatedly goaded, attacked and made to feel like utter shit (until they eventually delete their thread - if they have any sense).

The worst thing is a that lot of people do it on purpose and are very unpleasant (easy to do when it’s all anonymous).

But, yes, OP you’re right.

There's always something useful. You just ignore whats rude or unhelpful.

There seems to be a lot more posters now who just post to stick the boot in.

Not a chance I'd ask for advice on MN.

YANBU @AMurderofMurderingCrows

And I would like a “special” mention for posters who berate an OP for not having taken a massive life changing action (such as leaving the bastard, reporting their boss to HR, going no contact with a close family member..) within 24 hours of her first post.

Sure, but if someone is posting and in a difficult place, comments like “why did you marry this loser” can be hard to filter out.

By its very nature/title AIBU is inviting these kind of responses. If MN were genuinely concerned/cared they would get rid of the thread. But it drives the most traffic to the site because it gives people a free pass to say what they want. Therefore MN will keep it. Because MN isn’t about helping women it’s a business about making money. All the issues raised on AIBU could be raised on “Chat”, but you wouldnt get nearly the vitriol or the traffic.

There is bluntness and ‘harsh truths’ and picking at the OP for the sake of it. The difference is pretty obvious.

Agree. I once stumbled upon a post where an OP was challenged. But it was done with humour and no malice. The whole thread had a different tone and was even pleasant to read, even though the OP was being confronted. Then I saw the date, 2009! Things were clearly different then.

Completely agree with you, some people are downright nasty.

AIBU is not the best board to post on if you want sympathy. I think posters use it more for validation than anything else - if you use it you need to be fully prepared to be told YABU in the bluntest of language.

You are better off posting in a more specialist topic - the more niche, the more likely you are to get understanding responses, but the trade off is that traffic is lower and you might wait a while or get no replies at all.

Chat is 'safer' than AIBU if you want a general, high traffic board, or Relationships if that's what your question is about.

I don’t think it’s about sympathy, it’s often the opposite. I don’t mind at all something like I think you were unfair to your DS on this occasion. It would have been better to have told him firmly once that if he did that again he’d have to leave the party rather than take him straight home, as you didn’t give him the opportunity to put it right. That’s direct and honest. Bit so many posters would say something like He’s FOUR. Poor little boy. I can’t believe you did that to him, he’ll hate you when he’s older. Hope you enjoy him going NC, OP!

Nailed it @tuntree

Rather depends on more detail re what you did that you’re posting about wondering if you are unfair or
Not @tuntree , don’t you think?

What do you mean “none of my replies are visible”?

I never ask for parenting advice as my views on parenting are at complete variance from most of MN. And everybody seems to be NC!

I have asked for education advice though. I also frequently name change.
I think it's hard to reduce a complex relationship to a few paragraphs anyway.

Thanks @pointythings! I wondered if anyone would recognise it.

I reply to a discussion but no one ever responds or upvotes (or downvotes.) I tried looking not logged in and I could see the other replies but not mine.

I used that as an example but you’re kind of proving the point here in relation to nitpicking.