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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask all the “flat” or “small” chested ladies how did you find self acceptance or self love?

104 replies

ITanya78 · 21/09/2026 11:46

I was bullied at school for being flat chested and never developed breasts at all, always been very straight up and down. The boys would call me names and plant pictures of busty topless women in my bag. I still get that lurch of shame and humiliation when I see that kind of image.

I can’t afford surgery and not sure I could cope with it anyway. Therapy is also too costly. At 48, I am tired of feeling ashamed of my body, unfeminine and unsexy. There must be others with my body type who don’t have these feelings so I am asking for a bit of help in how to find self acceptance and self love. What works for you?

Have been following Olivia Dean on Instagram and find her confidence inspirational. It’s been nice to feel a little represented for once. I really want to change and feel good and am hoping someone has a nugget of wisdom or two to help! Btw comments about the difficulties of having large breasts don’t help me.

Thanks in advance!

OP posts:
Oliveoy · 23/09/2026 17:39

I'm incredibly envious of flat chested women. You look SO much nicer in clothes. Being middle aged with a large chest I just look frumpy and matronly in everything. At least men don't talk to my chest anymore

SALaw · 23/09/2026 17:40

A little represented for once?! Every single supermodel and a huge majority of singers, actors and presenters are also representing small chested women?! That is the predominant asthetic in the entertainment industry.

LucyBrownCow · 23/09/2026 17:47

It has never occurred to me to be ashamed or to think I'm "unfeminine" or "unsexy." Literally never.

I'm actually quite glad to have a small chest. There are definitely benefits, as PPs have posted.

It sounds as though you have a form of body dysmorphia. I know you mentioned that therapy is expensive, but have you looked into things like CBT techniques that you can use on your own?

EveningSpread · 23/09/2026 17:49

32B here! I’ve breastfed and they still look pretty much the same. I love not having to wear a bra all the time, and knowing that men aren’t only into me for my big knockers 😂

I used to care a bit when I was younger, but I just figured I’m fairly slight all over and I’m ok with that. Lots of different bodies are attractive and if they serve us well (ie healthy) they’re great and we should be happy!

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