I'm 32B, my breasts are great, sexy and feminine. They still look pretty much like they did in my youth despite breast feeding and going up to a matronly (on my slim frame) 34DD and then back down again.
How is this comment meant to help the OP feel any better, really? The other stuff you said was spot on, but why boast how wonderful your breasts are when she has clearly stated she hates hers? If you had the same size as her, ok, body positivity, but it’s like telling someone who can’t have kids that your 3 are the best thing to ever happen to you and you feel ‘blessed’. Can you not see that?
OP, I’m not in the same boat now but I was the same as you until relatively recently. Serious hang ups about my feminine physique, not helped by an older brother who would make regular derogatory comments, making me feel like shit, and utter embarassment and personal shame that I was somehow abnormal and looked awful and would be judged. For some reason ppl can actually BLAME you for having small breasts (as if you somehow got a say in it and are happy to have them) so feel entitled to belittle you bc your body offends them - it’s fucking crazy. I had relationships but was always incredibly self conscious and it would definitely impact them. It can seriously affect your mental health. When I had my first child I had breasts for the first time in my life, despite hoping that they would come from the hormones of being on the pill when I was younger. Absolutely didn’t work. I even tried natural supplements. Expensive and didn’t work.
My breasts are by no means perfect but most days i still remember what it felt like to have hardly anything there and not really need a bra and it’s something you are aware of every single day. The judgement of others as well as yourself. I really, really do sympathise. It’s something not really spoken about and can absolutely bring deep levels of shame. Boobs are everywhere. It’s difficult to avoid them. They’re intrinsically linked to sexuality and this is pushed on us constantly through the media. Men may have a kind of similar experience if they have a small penis, but that isn’t on display in the outline of their clothes every day like breast size is so it’s not really comparable. It’s not noticeable. There are also women who are size zero and having small breasts matches their general aesthetic and open topped clothes look elegant and good on them. But if you’re a normal or heavier built size it’s worse.
Surgery is a massive step. And complicated to justify as it’s not medically necessary - but it could be argued that if it significantly impacts on your MH it is necessary. It has risks and is extremely expensive, but there are options. Would you be able to get a manageable payment plan? It shouldn’t be something that is necessary but if it can be afforded somehow without threatening your financial security it may be an option. I’m not saying whether it is a good option or not as it is a deeply personal issue and no one should feel compelled to undergo an operation bc of how society makes them feel about their own body.
An alternative is therapy to promote acceptance and boost your self esteem so that you can find ways to manage your feelings and hopefully alter the way you view your body and respond to outside influences in a more positive way. I know you said this was costly, but there are free services out there. Talking about it to another person isn’t easy though, I do get that, but if you can find the right therapist, they will hopefully provide you with the tools to look at your situation in a different way and it won’t have the negative impact on you it has been having.
I wish you the best of luck going forward and please remember that most of the time, despite how we feel, it’s our personalities that ppl are attracted to when they get to know us, and if you are able to project inner confidence (in spite of how you really feel) ppl respond positively and we naturally appear more attractive as ppl generally, regardless of whether sex is involved. The trick is to let any negative comment appear to roll off you without any care and ppl no longer see it as a vulnerability and tend to not dwell on it. Easier said than done I know, but if you ‘don’t care’ then it isn’t a big thing to anyone else usually.
Focus on your positives, OP, I’m sure there are many, and I hope you feel happier about this aspect, or at least less unhappy about it, in the future.
Good luck 🩷