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AIBU?

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AIBU to think this reaction from a friend is bonkers? (and also insensitive)

427 replies

ChasingMars · 21/09/2026 10:35

Backstory, I have a close friend, let's call her Abbie Scott for ease. We exchange WhatsApps daily, general chatter, have a great day etc. DH also kniws her well, they got on brilliantly, to the extent we are all planning a big holiday together next year.

Saturday morning DH has my phone as he's using it to post stuff on Vinted. Message comes through from Abbie, good morning, happy weekend etc. DH replies with 'good morning Scottseroonie' or similar daft appropriation of her surname.

I follow up with 'sorry that was DH' laughing faces and then a typical reply and mention that today is rough as I'm taking the youngest to uni. We have talked about this at length over the last few months and she knows I have been really struggling with the idea of an empty nest and has expressed sympathy.

I don't get a reply for 6 hours, a reply then comes through just as I have got in the car after dropping DS off, so accept I was pretty emotional, but I was genuinely stunned by this reaction...

'Not funny. Please do not use my surname in this way. It landed badly ChasingMars'

A few minutes later another message saying..

'I hope DS got there ok and settling in'.

Which felt like an afterthought.

I replied with an apology and said DS was fine but I was struggling.

No replyintil the following day when she sent 'I hope today is a better day for you'.

AIBU to think this is both a bizarre reaction and completely insensitive timing??? And that I should expect better from a really close friend when I'm going through something really tough for me?

OP posts:
TwinklyAmberSloth · 25/09/2026 11:30

BlackRowan · 24/09/2026 21:05

Jeez you polling everyone in your life and sharing the messages with everyone including your daughter ! When the problem was exactly that you don’t treat her messages privately and don’t treat her with respect.

id say she’s well rid of you and I’d say her concerns were not baseless

I disagree.

The OP received a very bizarre response from someone who was supposed to be a close friend that made them rightly question how well they did actually know this person.

A nick-name is one of two things. It is either used to take the piss out of someone (probably someone you don't know that well or don't like) or it's used because you know someone really well and are close.

This nickname was used as it was someone they considered to be a close friend. The fact the friend then sent such a bizarre response to it is very much worthy of a sanity check and posting on here!

If my close friends messaged me with "Hey SlothyMcSlothface" then I'd think nothing of it. It's actually quite an honour to have a nick-name as it means I have a close friend who I'm really comfortable with.

If a school mum that I didn't know well messaged me with that greeting then that would be super odd!

But for a supposed close friend to consider a nickname an insult is really really weird.

BlackRowan · 25/09/2026 14:01

ChasingMars · 25/09/2026 10:56

Yeh in particular I'm not sure why it's odd to discuss situations going on in your life with close family?

There is a difference between discussing situations and sharing all the private messages with close family. You clearly don’t get the distinction and perhaps she’s not wrong in her feelings. For someone who claims to be her dear friend you slagged her off left right and centre, your tone here does not look like you an actual friend

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