AIBU to think this reaction from a friend is bonkers? (and also insensitive)

Don’t apologise again. You have grovelled enough for your apparent misdemeanour. I mean, I can’t imagine any of my friends being bothered about this but who knows what’s going on for her. Let her make the next move now. You’ve done enough.

Urgh, that's just.... weird ....

Definitely think you've done enough apologising OP and yes empty nest definitely a thing x

I think there's more that is going on to unfold here with your friend, you've apologised so just communicate as normal and wait and see.

However, there is nothing like a line of laughing emojis about something that would barely raise smile to make me irrationally fantasise about punching someone.

@ChasingMars Hell would freeze over before I contacted her again, let alone issue another apology, ridiculous and IMO deliberate overreaction. Feigned offense is a power play for some people, it focuses attention on them for a start.

She needs more time, let her have it and if you do decide to continue the friendship, I'd proceed with caution (and don't go on that holiday!)

Just read your updates, OP. Several other posters on this thread have told me how ridiculous my take and advise was so I wanted to return and see if there were any updates.

And I stand by it what I wrote. She isn't a friend. Friends think about when to speak to someone they care about, and she chose to text you her ridiculous faux offense on a day she knew was going to emotional for you. The timing was deliberate.

Now you know why she has fallen out with others.

Neither you or your husband did anything wrong (and I am someone with an unusual name that has been teased about in the past). If someone called me a version of my name that offended me, I would either wait for a good time to quietly address it with them - or reply immediately with 'please don't call me that.' It's not difficult, is it?

She has a problem with your happy family life and dynamic and if I am wrong on this, I'll eat my hat! She is not your friend and I think this will become clearer if and when you go on this holiday with her.

You are very good to have apologised 3 times, 1 would have been enough. I would keep her at arms length a bit.

I'd take a step back from her. Its was fine that she told you she was upset but now she's being a drama queen

sounds like an attention seekr- coughing on a train a funny play on her surname she needs to get a life

YANBU, OP, she sounds completely bonkers. I agree with other posters who have said that she is likely envious that you were the friend requiring attention and reassurance for a change, so has made a massive fuss about absolutely nothing.

I think keeping your distance and waiting for her to come to you is the best way forward. Do not feed the attention seeker.

I hope your child is settling in well at uni. My nest emptied last week, and I’m enjoying the peace and the updates from her new adventure.

if she gets in touch, just tell her how triggering her upset was to you and you need more time to process it.

From what you said about her coughing on the train, she sounds like a real attention seeker, and when she isn't getting any(because you are busy elsewhere), she makes something up so you fall over yourself to get back in her 'good graces'.

Sometimes 'arms length' just isn't far enough!

Over the top reaction id have to ask what her problem is considering you are feeling it about your son going off to uni too.. sounds pissed off over something doesn't she .

Your friend is absolutely fucking nuts and sounds like incredibly hard work. Total drama queen.

She gets a rude text, seemingly from you - is bothered by it. Perhaps not believing it was DH and said i didnt like that please dont do it again.

Then behaves as normal? And checks in on your feelings again the next day?

Seems shes reasonable, you dont get to say im upset generally so its wrong of her to take offence at a message she recieved from "me". She didnt like it and its over so let it go

It wasn't a rude text though. It was a text using a jokey 'pet' name from someone (the DH) who knows her very well.

OP has outlined that it was in no way vulgar or could possibly construed as insulting and her overreaction was massive.

When someone tells you, you hurt their feelings you dont get to decide that you didnt.

Im not saying it was name calling but she didnt like it. Thats reasonable.

If youve apologised 3 times and shes ignored you I think thats weird. Sorry should have been the end of it. So I think you have 2 choices 1. Message and say look i understand you didnt like the nickname but im sorry and already said I wont use it again, whats going on? 2. Leave the ball in her court

Honestly @ChasingMars , I think you have been extremely patient on this thread.

If one of my close friends wives/husbands/partners had sent me that completely innocuous text I'd have laughed and replied in kind. It was innocent.

Truly don't know how some people navigate the world, I really don't, if they see offence in this.

If you make a joke out of someones name and it upsets them its rude. If someone tells you, you hurt their feelings you dont get to decide you didnt.

I have no idea why it bothered the friend, or whether the friend believes it was the DH but the friend said it upset her so it upset her.

Its not unreasonable that if your friend upsets you, even unintentionally, you say something.

I disagree on her intital reaction, if my friend had said something to me and it bothered me for whatever reason even if it was a small thing id consider it reasonable to tell them. Im not a huffer so id say I didnt like that please stop it.

I fully accept neither your nor your DH said anything horrific or meant to upset her but it did and thats ok.

I do think its OTT post apology to ignore you for days. What does she want if an im sorry isnt adequate?!?!