AIBU to think a teenage son would not be spoiled by this?

Your son so your choice! I think it’s an ideal space for teens and they won’t be under your feet then either

That’s ridiculous. How could giving him some space spoil him? He’s a teenager and they need their alone time, plus a great way to spend time with his mates in a safe place out of your hair.

You spoil a child by not giving them consequences or boundaries, not by giving them somewhere to hang out.

Of course it’s fine to do this for your son! It’s not spoiling him and is actually providing him a safe but private space to hang out with his friends. People I know who have this say it was one of the best things they’ve done because their kids are more likely to spend time at home with friends where they know they’re safe and what they’re up to.

It's a great idea to give them some space like this if you can. Your friend sounds a mean, nosy and judgemental person I wouldn't want to be friends with. Probably feels threatened by your change of status.

My Dgs had a similar set up to this, although not a separate room, he had a huge loft extension with one half bedroom and the other settee, tv, desk, computer, games and guitars.
He was a lovely boy and still is now he is 18, having a nice room with space for friends won’t spoil your Ds at all.
What a ridiculous suggestion, ignore your friends, who as you say have different priorities to you and your family.

It’s not stuff that spoils children, it’s attitude and a sense of entitlement.

In reality a sitting room for teens to hang out in is no more spoiling than a playroom for younger kids.

I’m the youngest of two. When I was ten my mum went back to full time work so there was more money. One of the first things my parents did with that extra money was to have our loft converted into a

I don't think your friend is really that concerned your DS will turn out spoiled, I think shes more concerned her DC will be jealous and doesn't want the "why does Neonectarines DS have his own living room and I don't".

I don't get the logic how on earth would a child be spoilt by this? Americans have basements for kids sometimes

She is deluded

That’s mad. I wish we had a space where my teens could bring their friends and have some privacy. How lucky, your house will be the cool place to hang out. So many benefits in that! Ignore your friend.

How lovely! You don’t avoid spoiled children by denying them things you can afford. The best way to avoid children from becoming entitled is by giving them reasonable jobs to do around the house (or indeed outside the house) and by making sure you’re a family who discusses inequality and tries to challenge it where you can. He can grow up to be a decent human being regardless of how much space he has in the new house.

I wouldn't be worried about spoiling but l liked to keep our teens in the family circle so l would think twice about him having his own space and cutting himself off. We were lucky enough to have an extra sitting room. We all used it but if kids had their friends around we just didn't go in there that night. My kids are adults now but l am a firm believer in keeping the family together as much as possible. Our kids only went to their rooms for bed, their choice but if they had had their own sitting room l fear they would have been in there full time. And 14 is young.

Who is going to clean it and keep it in order?

If the op lived in Buckingham Palace I would agree but I don't think ome extrs room means he has joined a silent retreat

I can see your friend's point. Your son's friends (and not friends) might feel he's spoiled having his own lounge.

Plus, you realise this room is going to get trashed by your son's friends (and not friends)? What if his half a dozen close friends quickly turns into 20 friends when they realise they have a "safe space" to hang out?

I think there are lots of unforeseen consequences here, and the chances you have to take the room off him and cause unnecessary conflict are pretty high imo.

@HelmholtzWatson Good heavens! There’s no reason why a teenager’s sitting room should get ‘trashed’ by his friends.

OP, I think it’s a lovely idea and your son is at an age when a separate room where he can study or entertain his friends will be increasingly useful.

Why not would give him somewhere to sit with his friends and you some peace! Your friend should mind her own business what’s it got to do with her anyway

Absolutely ignore your friend. Well-done and congrats on your lovely new home!

Your friend sounds like a miserable cow.

It’s a great idea. It won’t spoil him. I’m of the opinion that if I have nice things, my kids also deserve nice things.

I don’t know which way to vote but you absolutely must let your ds have the extra room.

My teen ds has a huge bedroom with a double bed, sofa and en-suite bathroom and he’s definitely not spoilt. He has friends round and keeps it all very tidy.

I put YABU for listening to your friend here. It’s none of her business.

Space for teens to socialise is good. Being in. House is safer/warmer etc than hanging around outside.

When I was a teen people often came to our house and there was a separate sitting area but like a pp it wasn’t isolated from the main living space. They would pop in/out on the way for tea/coffee/snacks as would my younger siblings.

A small degree of parental oversight is still useful at that age.

It won't spoil him. However I wouldn't give him a sitting room next to his bedroom. Like a pp I preferred to have us all nearer, particularly when friends come over. We were fortunate to have several reception rooms so one just naturally became the teen lounge. Separate from our lounge and private but meant nobody was traipsing off upstairs out of the way.