AIBU to think a teenage son would not be spoiled by this?

Mine have their own lounge, it was a playroom but a lounge now that they are now young adults. It is a space where they hang out together and Dh and I get the lounge to watch the things we want to watch or just chat without 2 adult children sitting in there.

I completely agree that it doesn't spoil a child to give them a lounge. It is their attitude and behaviour that shows a spoiled child. Mine are a freaking delight, kind, helpful, fun to be around. They have had a lot of privileges because they never take it for granted and are truly are grateful for everything.

Just don't let 20 people in? My kids oftwn have big groups round and they have never trashed anythjng beyond spilling some coke.

We live in a 4 bed townhouse and the top floor is DS's bedroom, a spare "play"room with toys and storage in it (no bed) and the family bathroom. I really don't think this has affected his temperament!

Sounds lovely to me .

If the size of the house allows for the room to be used like this then I don’t see the issue.
loads of people create teen dens for this kids, garden rooms or a space like an extra living room area and they are not wealthy. Your new house layout just means it’s off his bedroom.
I had a few friends who had den rooms in their houses growing up. None of them are spoiled as adults or dysfunctional because of it.
your friend seems jealous maybe?
I would put down some rules for the living room though in case it ends up being an all night hang out and tons of sleep overs and messy. I would put rules like number of people allowed at any one time, ask before you bring people back, and time limits on being loud and when people have to leave. As you don’t want it becoming the local youth club, but a teen den room is perfectly normal for lots of people with big or smaller houses if they have an extra space.

At least by giving space at home he’s not going to be roaming the streets, getting up to mischief, hanging around the local chippy, etc.

Great idea but lay out some ground rules for him.

I mean, you might have kids that would "trash" the place but not everyone does! My DS and his friends would never do anything like that!

What a weird take on a completely normal proposal on how to use a room 🤯

I’d 10000% give my kids their own sitting room if I could.

Of course it's fine. Your friend is being ridiculous.

We have a similar set up. Ds 14 has a gaming room / living room with his Xbox and gaming stuff and his bedroom- I actually think it works really well because we can hear what he’s up to online and when it’s time to go to bed he can’t be gaming all night before school! He knows how lucky he is. We aren’t super wealthy by any means but we have a good holiday every year, house is mortgage free and Ds has latest iPhone / trainers etc - but we haven’t always been like that; Ds and I have disabilities and dh didn’t have a good job until fairly recently so we’ve had years before worrying about how to afford the food bill and managing on universal credit. If you give your dc the best life you can but still talk to them about the world etc they won’t end up spoilt.

It’s a great idea. Tell your friend to mind her own business. How can you spoil a child with a room for god sake? Providing your not supping hookers, drugs and booze in said sitting room I think he’ll be fine!

When I was a teenager (around 40 years ago) my mum turned what was an unused dining room into 'the back room' for me, my brother and our friends. Looking back it was the best thing ever, we were safe and inside rather than roaming the village (which we also did at times!) We had a sofa and a record player in there and all my friends thought it was the coolest thing ever!!

He can be spoilt and not be spoiled. There is a huge difference! He will love it!

In the 70s we had what DM called the Music Room (harking back to the days when the front parlour was never used) but it was basically my brothers’ den.

They had a record player and LPs, the Encyclopedia Britannica and dictionaries, a tiny 1950s b&w television in a cabinet for when programmes clashed, the piano, later a drum kit and band equipment and an Airfix modelling/craft table. One did his homework there, the other did it at the dining room table under DM’s watchful eye!
Ancient armchairs (at one point also a beanbag chair, it was the 70s) a polyester carpet and a 2-bar electric fire.
I think it was great use of the space. Nowadays it might be a gaming room with a home gym and a bluetooth projector for films!
Neither of them was spoilt.

Both of my children have their own sitting rooms separate to their bedrooms, as do the adults. Makes life run so much more smoothly.

We have a larger home and don’t use the separate living room. One child. My hope is when he’s a teenager we will be the house him and all his mates come back to.

He will feel he and his mates have privacy from us (and us them) and I know they’re all safe and aren’t just hanging about on the streets doing god knows what’s.

My dc have a ‘den’, which is basically a spare room with a sofa, tv and games consoles. The only thing that would hold me back is the possibility of never seeing him again when at home. My dc hang out in that room when friends are over but with us otherwise.

it won't spoil him, but I wonder if it'll give him the impression that this is his space and you don't want him in yours anymore? new house, now Mom and Dad only need to see you for food once a day!

What sort of person has voted unreasonable? Someone has, and they clearly think that a decent person is going to turn into an entitled brat because he has a space for his friends without a bed in it?
Normal people realise that this isn't going to happen. If a teenager is spoiled and entitled, this won't be the reason. How's it much different to a playroom?
It'll be nice for him to keep his private sleeping place private, and some of his friends might feel more comfortable, too-sometimes friends feel uneasy sitting on a boy's bed. If I had room, I'd do this.

Your friend is a cow

what I would do is put his bedroom in the deeper space, and his sitting room on the outside space, then he can keep his bedroom entirely closed off, no one needs to be walking through etc and it'll be easier to poop your head round and see him

My DD has her own sitting room. It’s great. When her friends come round, they disappear off out of MY sitting room. My DD isn’t spoilt. We had the room so we did it and I’m glad we did.

If he's not spoilt now how could it spoil him???

My three have a loft room we called their den, with a sofa, drum kit, games console, board games and Lego. They spend quite a bit of time up there together while I do housework in peace, but we also hang out together downstairs a lot. It works well. Will be great for your teen to have somewhere he and friends can hang out, the dream! Wouldn’t make him spoilt. Your friend is being a cow.