AIBU for taking our young children home before the wedding meal?

107 replies

Emma198800 · 17/09/2026 10:38

My husbands brother is getting married on the weekend and my husband is best man. We have 2 kids 3 and 1. He and his family want the kids at the wedding and the meal and to leave in the early evening, but I have refused and said they are going getting picked up and taken home by my sister before the meal and speeches. They will be there for the wedding ceremony and photos. This has caused an argument but I just want to enjoy my day too. I feel he is only insisting on having the kids there as his family (grandparents) want them there. Although he says he just agrees with them and he also really wants them there. He has agreed and told his family they will be going early and I know he is caught in the middle. AIBU?

OP posts:

MrsPapillon · 17/09/2026 21:14

YABVU deciding this TWO DAYS before the wedding, not months ago before the meals were paid for and the seating plans arranged.

JLou08 · 17/09/2026 21:51

Momtotwokids · 17/09/2026 21:13

what a crappy thing to say.

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That's crappy but telling the bride and groom their niece and nephew won't be at the wedding because their mum thinks their enjoyment is more important than theirs is reasonable?

Ilovemyfam · 17/09/2026 21:59

Emma198800 · 17/09/2026 10:57

He Will have some best man duties but I know he will run around after the kids. Also family have offered to help and aunt is willing to hang around. But even so I know I will just not relax with them there. And surely my husband should put me before what his parents want? Is that BU?

Then I would let them stay. It is only one day. Have a buggy available for the baby to fall asleep in, there will be a family member to push them.

You are fortunate to have a family who enjoys the comfort of all generations

CandyCrushLevel14809 · 17/09/2026 22:27

HylianShroom · 17/09/2026 17:59

No one will take turns feeding them. You will be stuck trying to feed both of them and keep them quiet, and take them to the loo etc while your own food goes cold. People only step up for the fun stuff like dancing or mucking about. I would send them home early so you can relax and enjoy yourself.

Maybe in your circle of friends and family. That hasn't been my experience at all.

Mumtobabyhavoc · 17/09/2026 22:28

the DC likely need to be fed and have their evening meals by 6pm, or so, and be in bed by 7pm. Of course they should be taken home. There is nothing wrong with OP wanting an evening to enjoy the wedding either. The family insisting the children stay are disrespecting OP. It shouldn't even be a discussion, let alone OP having to defend or justify this and assuage the in-laws.

sittingonabeach · 17/09/2026 23:25

I wonder of OP has been saying this all along and DH's family have ignored her, its not just something she has sprung on them 2 days before the wedding. Or she has seen over the last few months how she has been left holding the babies when with his family and have now decided she doesn't want that, or she knows how her Dc will behave

Createausername1970 · 17/09/2026 23:33

Your children won't remember the day at all. They will be at the ceremony which is the main bit.

The likelihood is that all those pushing for you to keep them there longer will probably not want to entertain them on the day.

If you have childcare you trust, then make use of it.

We aren't joined at the hip to our children and enjoying some events without them is fine.

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