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Original poster

Drug taking in daughter's student house

197 replies

Therunecaster · 13/09/2026 20:35

Hi, I'm looking for advice please.

My daughter is sharing a privately let student house with 3 others people. Two men and another woman, all are around 19. The other man and woman have lived together with my daughter since they got the house in July with no issues. There is a shared sitting room and kitchen with seating for all plus some guests which they all use considerately.

Four days ago the other man moved in. He smokes weed constantly and in the shared spaces, he has moved his girlfriend in and last night he had lots of people round smoking weed and getting drunk. They ended up sleeping in the kitchen and sitting room effectively blocking them off.

I live 2 hours away and found this out when I visited this morning. After lunch out we went back to the house and asked the various people to get up out of the kitchen and sitting room which they did. The place stunk of weed.

AIBU to phone the landlord if this happens again. It's not let by a big company the landlord only has this house and he lives close by. Daughter is upset as are the other two people and all 3 felt very uncomfortable with the drug use and people lying around the shared space.

Advice gratefully received please

OP posts:
ArseSkinForAFriend · 13/09/2026 20:37

Why wouldn’t your daughter phone her landlord?

nutbrownhare15 · 13/09/2026 20:37

I'd phone him now to be honest.

Strawberryfruitstarburst · 13/09/2026 20:39

Right who is the new guy? Someone’s friend or has the landlord organised him moving in?

The good news is your daughter is not alone in her dislike of this persons behaviour. She has the backing of the others.

Ralstan · 13/09/2026 20:39

Course you cant phone the ll. Your daughter is an adult. Its her business and her respinsi6to sort it out.

Why on earth di yiu think it is your business. Being a parent is teaching our chumdren ti cope in the world. She is 19 not 9

jeffsaward · 13/09/2026 20:39

YWBU to phone the landlord, yes. It’s up to the tenants to do this.

AlexandraCarrington · 13/09/2026 20:40

AIBU to phone the landlord if this happens again.

Your daughter and the other two tenants should phone the landlord. Assume it's their names on the tenancy agreement?

Especially mention to the landlord that the other man has moved his girlfriend in. That's probably in breach of his tenancy.

GlensHutchisonsRobertsonsStephek · 13/09/2026 20:45

Ralstan · 13/09/2026 20:39

Course you cant phone the ll. Your daughter is an adult. Its her business and her respinsi6to sort it out.

Why on earth di yiu think it is your business. Being a parent is teaching our chumdren ti cope in the world. She is 19 not 9

Chumdren, lol. I like that word.

Agreed, your daughter is an adult, she should be complaining, not you.

Original poster
Therunecaster · 13/09/2026 20:45

Ralstan · 13/09/2026 20:39

Course you cant phone the ll. Your daughter is an adult. Its her business and her respinsi6to sort it out.

Why on earth di yiu think it is your business. Being a parent is teaching our chumdren ti cope in the world. She is 19 not 9

Because she's my daughter and I'm worried. Is that so hard to understand?

OP posts:
Munchie1965 · 13/09/2026 20:46

YABU let the tenants sort it out themselves.

Original poster
Therunecaster · 13/09/2026 20:47

Strawberryfruitstarburst · 13/09/2026 20:39

Right who is the new guy? Someone’s friend or has the landlord organised him moving in?

The good news is your daughter is not alone in her dislike of this persons behaviour. She has the backing of the others.

He is another student who the other man vaguely knows. My daughter knows the other two tenants well. One for years and the other from last year

OP posts:
definitelynotAI · 13/09/2026 20:47

I’d phone the landlord. Unacceptable

Littlefish · 13/09/2026 20:48

it would be absolutely reasonable to speak to the landlord, but your daughter and the other two tenants need to do it.

I suggest they out their concerns in writing, quickly.

Is there anything in the contract about smoking? Drugs? Anti social behaviour etc?

Original poster
Therunecaster · 13/09/2026 20:49

Littlefish · 13/09/2026 20:48

it would be absolutely reasonable to speak to the landlord, but your daughter and the other two tenants need to do it.

I suggest they out their concerns in writing, quickly.

Is there anything in the contract about smoking? Drugs? Anti social behaviour etc?

Yes. No smoking or illegal substances in the house.

OP posts:
Mermaidmusing · 13/09/2026 20:52

So he’s an acquaintance of the first man who lives in the house? It’s his fault for inviting the druggie to join the house. One or other of the tenants needs to phone the LL tomorrow to explain the situation and the druggie needs to be evicted immediately.

HoldMyWine · 13/09/2026 20:53

This is for your daughter to sort out. When I was a student our house was raided by police thanks to one of our fellow residents cannabis habit. I’d have been mortified if my parents had got involved.

Original poster
Therunecaster · 13/09/2026 20:53

Mermaidmusing · 13/09/2026 20:52

So he’s an acquaintance of the first man who lives in the house? It’s his fault for inviting the druggie to join the house. One or other of the tenants needs to phone the LL tomorrow to explain the situation and the druggie needs to be evicted immediately.

No he didn't invite him. They all applied for the house share and he vaguely knew him.

OP posts:
YourAmberExpert · 13/09/2026 20:54

Ralstan · 13/09/2026 20:39

Course you cant phone the ll. Your daughter is an adult. Its her business and her respinsi6to sort it out.

Why on earth di yiu think it is your business. Being a parent is teaching our chumdren ti cope in the world. She is 19 not 9

Chumdren tho

Blushingm · 13/09/2026 20:57

Therunecaster · 13/09/2026 20:45

Because she's my daughter and I'm worried. Is that so hard to understand?

Show quote history

But she’s an adult and her and the other tenants need to sort it. Whilst you can worry - your daughter needs to sort this not you

lockinsideout · 13/09/2026 20:57

I'd have been mortified if my mum showed up and started bossing my flatmates around when I was a student. You can advise her but that's it really

waterrat · 13/09/2026 20:57

When I was a student I have to admit this was completely normal. I was never a smoker but most people I knew smoked weed. (25 yrs ago now)

What seems to be the main problem here is your daughter is living with someone now that she didn't choose..is that correct ?

In this situation yes id complain. But I dont think smoking weed on its own is a major issue.

HobnobsChoice · 13/09/2026 20:58

Love the word Chumdren, like a jolly hockey sticks version of Mandem

Anyway, encourage your daughter to report this to the landlord. Even go through the main issues/concerns she needs to discuss and then let her do it. She's the one who signed the tenancy agreement and her housemates are in agreement so they can do it together either as a phone call or email if they have his email address. Understandable for you to be worried but it's her contact and she is an adult albeit a young one. The landlord has no obligation to you but does to her

HRHCurmudgeon · 13/09/2026 21:00

Student smokes a joint & has friends round - shocker!

Christ, times have changed.

If, however, your adult daughter finds this unacceptable, then she needs to speak to her flatmate. If that doesn’t help in finding a resolution, she should then contact the landlord. You need to back off.

CountFucula · 13/09/2026 21:02

Isn’t this every student house???

Up to your daughter and flatmates to sort - you can encourage and support her of course but you phoning the landlord infantilises her. She can handle it.

jeffsaward · 13/09/2026 21:03

Therunecaster · 13/09/2026 20:45

Because she's my daughter and I'm worried. Is that so hard to understand?

Show quote history

You are allowed to be worried whilst also allowing her to be an adult. You don’t have to take over and phone the landlord, she isn’t a child and neither are the other tenants.

GreenCaterpillarOnALeaf · 13/09/2026 21:04

I understand you want to phone the landlord for your daughter, but she needs to do it herself. You 100% should help her out though, when I need to make important calls I just make a bullet point list of what I need to say so I don’t miss anything. Tell her to do that and then you could look it over and add anything she’s missed, then she can sort the call. She’s technically an adult but she’s new to being an adult so she will still need a bit of help. Also make sure she sends a follow up email confirming what she’s said and what the land lord said.

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