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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To feel this mum should take her turn?

188 replies

hoodrally · 11/09/2026 15:51

Daughter is in year 6 and has a friend who she often goes to the park with after school, me and her mum have generally taken it in turns to take both girls.

However this year her daughter is allowed to walk home from school as they only live a few minutes walk and the park is on the way, her daughter has a phone.

I do not live near the school and it’s too far from my house to let her walk so I have to get a bus to collect my daughter and then she often wants to go to the park with this friend, so because she walks home she will text her mum and her mum will say yes she can and I end up having to take them and stand around while they play while her mum always stays at home instead of taking it in turns and I can pick her up later? s

OP posts:
AdeleRochester · 11/09/2026 15:53

The solution to this is just to say no to your daughter.

Or contact the Mum and explain the issue.

SUPerSaver721 · 11/09/2026 15:54

If the girl is allowed to walk home why do you think the mum should stand outside to watch them at the park? They are year 6 so 10/11 they can play at the park with no supervision if its a safe area.

TeenToTwenties · 11/09/2026 15:55

Her mum is happy for her DD to be unsupervised at the park though?

You have choices

  • tell your DD she can only go if pre arranged and you will pick her up later
  • say she will have go straight home
  • stay and supervise
  • go off somewhere for a coffee and return
wandererofthekingdom · 11/09/2026 15:56

If the daughter is walking home and the park is on the way I doubt she'd bother to supervise her daughter there, she must be of the age she can just go to the park by her house. She's only going to the park because your daughter is, and you have to be there to take your daughter home on the bus.
Why don't you just pre arrange with your that she can go to the park and you'll get her from there half an hour later?

Lmnop22 · 11/09/2026 15:56

Why not just let them walk to the park alone together and then go and collect later on so you’re not hanging around?

I do understand why the other mum doesn’t want to walk to the school to collect her child when she doesn’t have to just so she can take her turn watching them in the park because you live too far away for both kids to walk home!

augustuss · 11/09/2026 15:58

I wouldn’t mind this at all. It’s your daughter you’re doing it for and nobody else.

Mosaic80 · 11/09/2026 16:00

I’d say to your DD that park trips need to be arranged in advance then let the 2 of them walk to the park from school together and you arrange to collect at a certain time, say 5pm?

NerrSnerr · 11/09/2026 16:00

Her mum is clearly happy for her to be at the park unsupervised. If you want to supervise your child then that’s your call.

DaftHapeth · 11/09/2026 16:00

Yep, YABU. Pick your daughter up from the park or her friends house later on. The other mum has a new found freedom from school runs and cannot be expected to hang around playgrounds!

They won’t be doing it for long anyway, clocks go back at half term and it’ll be too cold and getting dark.

mrsm43s · 11/09/2026 16:02

Your daughter's friend is able to go to the park on her own and walk home alone, but you want her Mum to come out to the park and supervise your daughter?

Nah. Either you are happy for your daughter to be unsupervised, in which case you arrange with your daughter to pick her up from the park later, or you think your daughter needs supervision, so you supervise her.

arethereanyleftatall · 11/09/2026 16:03

Yabu. You don’t have to hang around at the park for your dd. You are choosing to. You could just pick her up later. Or she could get the bus by herself. Where you live is absolutely not the mums problem.

pinkyredrose · 11/09/2026 16:03

Don't you think they're old enough to be at the park themselves?

Relaxemente · 11/09/2026 16:03

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CarotidFartery · 11/09/2026 16:04

The mum is happy for her daughter to play unsupervised - she isn't asking you to supervise them.

You could agree to pick your daughter up later? Or say no to her going to the park?

Original poster
hoodrally · 11/09/2026 16:05

I am probably being unreasonable but it would be nice if she would occasionally do it if it was pre arranged so I could come and collect her a bit later.
I think I would have done if it was the other way around.

OP posts:
SpiderJelly · 11/09/2026 16:05

Why would the other mum go to the park when she’s happy for her daughter to go to the park alone?
Cant you let your daughter go to the park after school with her friend for an hour and you pick up from the park? Why does the other mum have to be there while they’re playing?

EverytimeItPours · 11/09/2026 16:06

Sorry Yabu, you’re the only one who wants them supervised so it’s on you to do it

SpiderJelly · 11/09/2026 16:06

hoodrally · 11/09/2026 16:05

I am probably being unreasonable but it would be nice if she would occasionally do it if it was pre arranged so I could come and collect her a bit later.
I think I would have done if it was the other way around.

Then pre arrange for your daughter and her friend to go to the park and you can pick your daughter up from the park a bit later? It saves you hanging around while they play.

Relaxemente · 11/09/2026 16:06

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Schoolchoicesucks · 11/09/2026 16:07

Is the mum only saying yes to the park because she knows there is an adult (you) supervising? Or because she's happy for her Y6 child to go to the local park after school with her friend unaccompanied? If it's the 2nd then of couse she doesn't need to "take a turn".
If you are happy for your DD to go to the park after school, then you need to pre-arrange it and go amd collect her half an hour after school finish time (for example) and if she asks on other days and you aren't happy to hang around, the answer is "no".
None of this needs to involve the other mum taking a turn to supervise your daughter.

mrsm43s · 11/09/2026 16:08

hoodrally · 11/09/2026 16:05

I am probably being unreasonable but it would be nice if she would occasionally do it if it was pre arranged so I could come and collect her a bit later.
I think I would have done if it was the other way around.

Why is it her job to supervise your daughter, even occasionally? Her daughter doesn't need supervision. She's done with supervising at the park, that chapter of her life has closed. If your daughter needs supervision, then it's up to you to do that.

Mnetcurious · 11/09/2026 16:09

Daughter: mum please can we go to the park

You: no, not today

Sorted.

arethereanyleftatall · 11/09/2026 16:09

hoodrally · 11/09/2026 16:05

I am probably being unreasonable but it would be nice if she would occasionally do it if it was pre arranged so I could come and collect her a bit later.
I think I would have done if it was the other way around.

I don’t get your thinking at all op.

she has made the decision her child no longer needs supervision

you have made the decision your child still does. That’s up to you.

you don’t get to request that she supervises your child when hers no longer needs it!

Original poster
hoodrally · 11/09/2026 16:09

CarotidFartery · 11/09/2026 16:04

The mum is happy for her daughter to play unsupervised - she isn't asking you to supervise them.

You could agree to pick your daughter up later? Or say no to her going to the park?

The children arrange this at school so I am already at the gate before they come out and ask, we live the other side of the city.

OP posts:
Relaxemente · 11/09/2026 16:09

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.