To feel this mum should take her turn?

But her daughter doesn’t need watching. And it would still need to be planned in advance, and you’d still be subject to the weather etc.

Do you have a spine? Just pick your daughter up, say no park and go home. Its really not that hard.

YABU, OP, and dismissing the very reasonable suggestions made so far make it sound like you don't actually want to resolve this. You're making problems for yourself.

1. Your child is in year 6. Sign the permission slip that says she is allowed to travel home by herself. This doesn't mean you can never pick her up, it just gives both of you more flexibility.
2. If you don't want to/can't afford to give her a mobile, just say that every Friday (or whatever day) she can go to the park with her friend, but must be home by x time. (If you don't want her to travel by herself, name the time you'll meet her at the park to take her home.)
3. If you don't want to do either of the above, you could always wait in a local library (if there is one) or take a book and read in the park/coffee shop while the girls play.

Work on making your child more independent, so she can get the bus by herself.

It doesn’t sound like the other mums not taking her turn but two parents with different boundaries. She’s happy for her DD to go to the park alone but you want an adult to supervise yours. If you’re unhappy tell DD she can’t keep making last minute plans and cut down on the park trips. It’s common at that age for some kids to be more independent than others and usually the stricter parent deals with the kids more as they want them supervised more.

Year 6 is a tricky year because there is such a difference in how much independence parents allow. If the other Mum is happy for her daughter to go to the park unsupervised, you can't really expect her to go and supervise because you don't feel comfortable leaving them without supervision yet.

Aw op i know it's annoying sometimes but I miss those days !! My kids are at secondary now and nobody wants their parents at the park

This time will be over soon...just take a book or do your work emails while they play if you must stay ?

but you want them supervised at the park and she doesn't

The issue isn't the park. It is because you are stopping and buying drinks and snacks. So you see that the other parent should help with that.

Honestly. Been there and got the T shirt. Curb that u less you can afford it but be honest with yourself.

so,

dear mn. me and fellow mom both used to live near school and the local park so would take it in turns to take our children there and watch them.

they're now is year 6. DD walks home and is allowed to go to the park alone as long as she tells me. other Mom moved away and doesn't allow her child to play at the park unsupervised.
she now expects me to supervise them both several times a week.
auby to say no?

If the friend has a phone can she text you too when she does her mom? Or will you already have left for the pick up?

Your title should actually be
‘AIBU to feel another mum should take turns with me supervising my child’
which is what you’re asking, so when you say it correctly, it might help you see how batshit it is.

But if the other mum was there she wouldn’t need permission? That doesn’t make any sense. Just tell the school that your daughter can leave on her own. Tell your daughter to organise in advance. And start getting her ready to do the journey on her own next year. There’s no way I think the other mum has any responsibility for where you live or the rules you have for your daughter being supervised.

But that wouldn't work anyway unless you prearrange it, as you'll already be at the school gate when the girls ask to go to the park.

Could you not prearrange it with the other mum, and ask that if the weather turns, or there is an emergency, both girls can go back to the other girls house until you can get there? It saves both of you from standing watching, but there is somewhere for your DD to go if needed.

So fill in a permission slip? But stress to your DD that she may only leave on days that you have prearranged for her to go to the park.

Just tell the school she's walking that day so they let her go and pick her up later. Just pre-arrange if she wants to go the park. It's such a non-issue.

Your dd is sling last minute plus at school. So you need to talk to your dd. Its entirely up to you to stay at the park or just say no we are going home

but you said they only plan it during the day so you were already there... For you to not already be at the gates and just come later it would need to be arranged in advance, giving you time to sign the permission slip so she can walk to the park with her friend.

You can't expect someone to come out especially to supervise your daughter when their own is allowed out alone. Either you supervise, you don't let your daughter go, or you say she must pre arrange it and sign the slip. Plenty of options.

why does anyone have to stay and watch them?

You can tell your DD that if she doesn't arrange it the day before, she can't on the day. She really should have a phone at her age anyway.

There's no way any of the local mums around me with who would suddenly go and babysit the children once they are allowed to walk to and back from school independently. Once we stop the school run, it's not to restart because another parent is less confident, or is living too far.

Why do they both need supervising? I think YABU. Either tell your daughter no or go later to the park to pick up your daughter so you don’t need to hang around. It isn’t the other mums fault you live too far away for your DD to go to school on her own although if she is year 6 maybe it is time to start looking at that or presumably you don’t drive so could drop her off and come back. Alternatively just agree one day a week and take a book to the park. I kind of feel at 10/11 you need to start giving your DD some independence though.

It’s your problem to solve unfortunately, but I don’t understand how the other mum ‘taking her turn’ would help in any way! You say the girls agree this whilst at school, so you’re stood at the gates and have made the journey to school regardless? So how do you expect her to help?

OP, as otehrs have said, the issue is that you have different boundaries for your respective daughters.

My advice would be that you tell DD to start planning in advance. I'd also get her a basic phone - it's perfectly reasonable for that in Year 6. Or, if she does want to do spontaneous, then take your book and sit in a cafe or in the park while her and her friend play.

Just to add, I am sympathetic to you, but you do need to be careful here. DD had a friend whose mum was less comfortable with walking and who also didn't allow her child to have a phone and i had to intervene eventually when I discovered that DD was being pressured to walk with the friend AND call the mum to tell her when they were en route.

Either youare confident that youdd can be out and about alone and have the right things in place otherwise support that, or you aren't. it's not on other families to accomodate your concerns.

Yes this. You have said you can't collect from the park later as you don't know of park plans til you arrive at school. So how did it work before? Surely you and the other mum would have both turned up at the school gates and then heard of the park plan, what did you do then?

Also you say you always stop for food and drink. Well stop that then if you aren't happy with that. Or hand it over to your DD as pocket money and say that if she buys a snack for herself and friend that's her money gone. Though as the friend sounds quite independent they are likely to have a bank card or money so they could fund their own snacks.

Perhaps you could start letting DD leave school on her own and meet you part of the way, so that she gets used to it ready for year 7. We didn't live near my sons primary school either, but he wanted to feel a bit more independent like his friends. So I gave him permission to leave school alone, and I would meet him down the road, each term the distance that he walked alone got further and further. We then progressed to him getting a bus and I would get on a few stops along the route.

If you're happy prearrange it for the other mum to supervise, why can't you prearrange days the girls will go to the park on their own? You could then collect DD from the park.