AIBU to feel unfairly ostracised after a joke at the sports club?

This thread is bonkers.

The women chose to talk about her step son's orientation (real or joking, we don't know). She'd previously shared she'd like to be a grandma, but none of her children seems to be on that path now.

The Sasco replied to that. Maybe it was a bad taste, but it stayed within the playing field the other mum marked. Hill out of molehill.

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Yes, it sounds she is unpleasant and doesn't like you. And she doesn't like that her poor jugdment (in reporting that) was discussed. So she stepped even deeper into it with the "racial" comment.

I don't know what you can do now other than survive. Explain to those who matters to you?

Agree. I think I’d be steering clear of that club from now on - at least the social side of it. Too much drama.

That comment would be factual. You're one was homophobic and offensive. If she had said something about eye or skin colour tgat wasn't true, such as your DD playing a 'white' part in a school play, that would be equivalent. She wanted to nip you in the bud. "My children are successful " does sound a bit up yourself, they are children at a club.

The idea that everyone suddenly has a right not to be offended is absurd.
Good thing I haven't said anything of the sort, then.

People have given a million reasons on this thread why the comment would bother them. If you actually cared to understand you'd read it and think about it yourself and not be bothering me.

If she herself said “he’s as gay as they come” I really don’t see the issue with you saying “oh you won’t be getting any grandchildren then” Any normal adult knows when people are making comments in a mean way, or if it was just a follow on comment in jest. For context, how well do u know her? If other adults are following her over this, they’re just as silly as she is.

Some people have no sense of humour. I avoid people like that

It would mine. OP is crass making an outdated stereotypical comment.

my step dad is very much a grandparent to my child. And he wasn't even around when I was very young.

Gay parent here. I'd have rolled my eyes at you, but that's it. Drama llamas really get on my nerves.

So is the stepmum.

I don’t see anything wrong with what you said given that the woman had already said he was as gay as they come. The reactions to your comment are very weird indeed.

That was pretty insensitive comment for you to make, but I do think she has over-reacted. Grand children may be an issue for her.

No wonder people don't talk to each other any more!

Go back and have your say this pathetic women or whoever calls it a safeguarding issue is absolutely ridiculous she was joking about her gay relative something was said in jest you responded to her innocently throw it right back at them.

But not biologically

well she didn't say 'not getting grandkids' either so.......

Her comment could be taken as offensive also, so she is being unreasonable. Your comment was odd, but being reported to safeguarding is OTT.

what does gay as they come mean? 'sort of gay' isn't a thing.
This women started the tone with her stupid comment and got a stupid comment back, and then complains.

That’s a leap. We all say silly things at times that don’t have any real meaning.

Oh, you're one of THOSE....

The reply was “…wouldn’t be getting any grandchildren from him any time soon then” Which to me sounds like a question.
Or the very least a statement that you are looking for a confirmation or to be corrected

This woman is homophobic. I wonder what the step son actually thinks

Ok then a different example could be, “he’s as tall as they come” likely wouldn’t raise an eyebrow either because being tall for boys is seen as positive. Like being gay, it’s also part of who you are and you can’t be less tall no matter what you do. If she’d said “he’s as thick as they come” people would have thought she was horrible/a bad parent/a bully maybe, because being thick is seen as negative. It’s the same way with being gay, it’s still seen as a negative thing, even though most people these days think they don’t think that way. Homophobia is buried deep in our subconscious. After decades of it very much being a negative thing it remains negative in our subconscious. That’s why we don’t even realise we see it negatively. This includes gay people themselves, myself included. For us, it’s internalised homophobia. Subconsciously believing you’re worth less than hetero people, even if you don’t actually think that consciously, it shows up sometimes in your actions. Spending (for me at age 40 anyway) the first half of your life being told it’s not ok to be who you are has a profound impact on your self-worth that stays with you.

Do the exact biological details really matter?!

That what I wondered.