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AIBU?

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Original poster

WIBU to give my daughter's friend a lift home in torrential rain?

304 replies

DinonneS · 08/09/2026 15:31

A bit of advice need to how to handle this situation. So dd is 15 and walks to and from school. It’s about a 10 min walk so not far and dd has a group of friends, including one of our neighbours dd, who all walk together. Today we have had torrential rain all day so I dropped her this morning and said I’d pick her up. Messaged my neighbour (who works until 7pm) and asked if she’d also like me to pick up her dd. She said yes please so I’ve rocked up outside school to pick the two of them up. While there I see dd’s friend who lives about. 20 min walk but only a 7 min drive away and offered her a lift too and it was genuinely pouring down. She was very grateful and I know her mum so I knew she’d have no problem with it. All in all the extra drop off took me an extra 15mins and we were home at 3.10pm instead of the usual 2.55pm. Neighbour has completely kicked off that I didn’t tell her I was picking up and dropping another child while her daughter was in the car. She said we’ll be chatting about it tonight when she’s back home. Not sure what I’ve done wrong tbh

OP posts:
Original poster
DinonneS · 08/09/2026 21:53

Right so neighbour has been over. It’s a bit of an anti climax but I’m glad we have sorted it now as I was genuinely confused I was missing some kind of unwritten parenting rule.

Neighbours dd battery died in school so when she was later than expected (neighbour was listening out for the ring doorbell alert), she had tried to call her dd and it went straight to voicemail. She said as the weather was so bad (driving conditions were pretty terrible tbh) she had a bit of a panic and was thinking that we’d had an accident or something and thought the worst. I did say to her that she has my number so she could’ve called me. She also has my DD’s number. I have my phone set up to the car hands free. She said she’d been having a rough week and ‘lost her shit’ for a moment and just panicked.

Neighbour was apologetic and said she was very grateful that’s I’d saved her dd a wet walk home and that she was glad I dropped the other girl off too. Think she just jumped the gun out of panic and realised that after calming down. As she left she she said it wasn’t her finest moment and that she hoped there were no hard feelings. She will also be picking dd up for me on Friday as it’s forecast to be another windy, rainy day.

As I said, I don’t really know her well socially but we have been neighbours for a long time and out DD’s get on well so I didn’t want any bad blood. I’m going to chalk this down to her having a bad week and waking up on the wrong side of the bed and put it behind us.

OP posts:
Original poster
DinonneS · 08/09/2026 21:55

Oh and for people asking, Tuesday is their short day. They have a long day on Wednesday to make up for it and finish at 4.30pm. Every other day they finish at 3.30pm. It’s the way it’s always been at this school

OP posts:
Hoork · 08/09/2026 21:56

Wow how weird. Maybe there’s some history between those two girls that you don’t know about? (still obviously not your fault)

DisappearingGirl · 08/09/2026 22:00

Ah that's a nice update OP. I do have a little bit of sympathy for her worrying as I also hate driving in torrential rain.

Though an EastEnders style slanging match would have been more entertaining for the thread :)

SuperSue77 · 08/09/2026 22:02

Another one loitering to hear what she wants to chat about! If she's that anxious about her daughter why didn't she msg her to ask why she isn't home. I agree with @Goditsmemargaret suggestion. I'd not be chatting with her tonight but want to hear what her issue was to formulate my response after careful consideration. Also agree with the poster who said not to stop giving her DD a lift because of her rudeness - her DD shouldn't suffer because she has an unpleasant mother.

SuperSue77 · 08/09/2026 22:07

SuperSue77 · 08/09/2026 22:02

Another one loitering to hear what she wants to chat about! If she's that anxious about her daughter why didn't she msg her to ask why she isn't home. I agree with @Goditsmemargaret suggestion. I'd not be chatting with her tonight but want to hear what her issue was to formulate my response after careful consideration. Also agree with the poster who said not to stop giving her DD a lift because of her rudeness - her DD shouldn't suffer because she has an unpleasant mother.

Missed the update while typing this! Glad it was resolved and that NDN saw how unreasonable she was and apologised. We all have rough times when we can lash out unfairly at others, so you're right to put it down to her bad week and put it behind you.

smoothorangejuice · 08/09/2026 22:07

You are so kind, thank you for being a great adult❤️

Thingcanonlygetbetter · 08/09/2026 22:08

You did the right thing chalking it up to her having a bad week, but her card would be marked in my book. I wouldn’t fall out with her but I would be very careful with someone like that. Her poor daughter is probably mortified.

Gentlework · 08/09/2026 22:10

Nice update 😃

JuliettaCaeser · 08/09/2026 22:14

If she’s that neurotic she needs to get her kid a mobile phone battery charger

PussyGaylore · 08/09/2026 22:20

If she was that worried why didn’t she call her daughter or you to find out where you were? She sounds a bit mad to me - you weren’t that late - a trip to the shops or a chat with another school mum could easily have delayed you by this amount of time.
it’s a shame for the child but I’d just say - ok - I think it best I don’t give her a lift again.

Sasha07 · 08/09/2026 22:22

Glad it was all just a storm in a teacup. Think you're doing the right thing, showing her grace and not reading too much into it. Atleast it's sorted now and she doesn't sound too much of a fruitcake, like you said, she just got caught up in a moment and acknowledges she went abit nuts.

raspberrychocolatecake · 08/09/2026 22:22

I'm glad it's all been sorted out and everything is ok between you, lovely update.

spirah · 08/09/2026 22:29

DinonneS · 08/09/2026 21:53

Right so neighbour has been over. It’s a bit of an anti climax but I’m glad we have sorted it now as I was genuinely confused I was missing some kind of unwritten parenting rule.

Neighbours dd battery died in school so when she was later than expected (neighbour was listening out for the ring doorbell alert), she had tried to call her dd and it went straight to voicemail. She said as the weather was so bad (driving conditions were pretty terrible tbh) she had a bit of a panic and was thinking that we’d had an accident or something and thought the worst. I did say to her that she has my number so she could’ve called me. She also has my DD’s number. I have my phone set up to the car hands free. She said she’d been having a rough week and ‘lost her shit’ for a moment and just panicked.

Neighbour was apologetic and said she was very grateful that’s I’d saved her dd a wet walk home and that she was glad I dropped the other girl off too. Think she just jumped the gun out of panic and realised that after calming down. As she left she she said it wasn’t her finest moment and that she hoped there were no hard feelings. She will also be picking dd up for me on Friday as it’s forecast to be another windy, rainy day.

As I said, I don’t really know her well socially but we have been neighbours for a long time and out DD’s get on well so I didn’t want any bad blood. I’m going to chalk this down to her having a bad week and waking up on the wrong side of the bed and put it behind us.

I think you’ve done the right thing here. Neighbour sounds quite genuine in her reasons and apology and no point in causing an issue that could last the next 10 years!

I too would have probably had a panic as I can get anxious about dc’s timings and it’s worse if my heads a mess.

Well done op you sound lovely.

GertrudePerkinsPaperyThing · 08/09/2026 22:36

Sounds like just one of those things then. Everyone is allowed an off day or off few minutes occasionally and it sounds like she was very apologetic and willing to make amends.

I wouldn’t hold a grudge - even though I thought she was batshit in my initial reply!

Isittimeformynapyet · 08/09/2026 22:49

Throwaway65131 · 08/09/2026 17:36

I am presuming that knowing you were collecting her at x time and how long the journey takes was expecting her child to walk through the door at 2.55pm. Perhaps she is a worrier. When they did not walk through the door at the expected time, she was then forced to spend the next 15 minutes sick with worry and unable to think about anything else, convinced that something awful must have happened. Not necessarily that you had done something but that something bad had happened to her child.

if the child is a teenager, whilst they are old enough to message mum to say “hey we’re dropping off friend b as well”, they are still a child and tend not to forward think about things like that.

Maybe they’re seen as overreacting, but if they were genuinely upset and afraid that could explain their attitude towards you.

YANBU at all to give dd’s other little friend a lift. It would be cruel to make them walk. But where it might be slightly that YABU is that you told or made neighbour think child would be home at 2.55 then took them on a jaunt without letting her know the revised ETA, leaving her completely in the dark to worry about her until you finally brought her back (15 minutes probably seems like a long time if you thought your child was being brought home by a trusted neighbour but they have not been!)

Please update us on how this goes when you speak with neighbour!

Maybe they’re seen as overreacting

Ya think?

LovelyLassie · 08/09/2026 22:53

She sounds like she’s had a rotten week, glad it’s behind you both.

BeUmberMember · 08/09/2026 22:54

No issue, your car, your choice plus it was another 15 year old school friend, not some random male stranger. Suspect there is a hidden agenda, for example she may previously have had a fall out with the other girls parents. Carry on doing what you do its lovely when other parents look out for your children.

Isittimeformynapyet · 08/09/2026 22:56

Ohthatsabitshit · 08/09/2026 18:20

This is just plain weird. What on earth are you going to “chat” about? Get your phone to turn the conversation into text so you can giggle about it for weeks. Do you think you are expected to apologies for not disclosing your kindness to a third child?

Get your phone to turn the conversation into text so you can giggle about it for weeks.

I need to know how to do this! (don't worry, I'll look it up) 👍🏻

Walkerzoo · 08/09/2026 22:58

Nice update.
We all have bad days but not worth ruining a friendship/ neighbour situation over

FaceIt · 08/09/2026 23:00

You’ve done nothing wrong. In fact it was extremely kind of you.

As for your neighbour, she sounds utterly batshit.

Isittimeformynapyet · 08/09/2026 23:03

3luckystars · 08/09/2026 18:33

I would just stay quiet and listen to what she says and back away from her. (Moonwalking able)

Just for your own information, listen to her carefully, and then if you are ever thinking of helping her again, remember her.

Do not ‘discuss’ it or apologise, just to take in what she is saying so you will remember.

Ungrateful cow.

Edited

if you are ever thinking of helping her again, remember her.

OP is unlikely to forget as this would be a very memorable occasion. Plus, she lives nextdoor. But I'm sure this piece of advice was well meant.

Laura95167 · 08/09/2026 23:04

For all she knew you could have stopped for petrol or traffic or the kids faffing about and being late.

Her dd could have text her.

She wasnt even home to notice the 15mins

Id just say, dont worry it wont happen again. The next time she will have to get her own dd

EnjoyingTheSilence · 08/09/2026 23:04

Love a reasonable update. We all have mad moments and it’s good neighbour realised and all is good ok the end.

Freshrain · 08/09/2026 23:10

Nice update. Thanks for coming back to the thread @DinonneS