WIBU to give my daughter's friend a lift home in torrential rain?

I’ve read your updates but just from your OP I knew she had panicked when you were late.

I knew this because a relative of mine was kind enough to occasionally collect my kids from school, but would occasionally stop for a chat or call in somewhere on the way home…I always worried on those occasions. Didn’t want to ring/text as they’d be driving (they didn't use hands free). They often didn’t think to text.

I’ve lost a family member in a car accident and am always terrified it’ll happen again.

The girl couldn't use her phone - the battery had died.

You kkow....It shouldn't have cause a panic at all though. I'd assume someone would take longer to get home in a downpour even if they didn't drop off another kid.

Honestly it sounds as though she suffers from bad anxiety or ocd and had a panic thinking the worst and took it out on you. If you talk about it with her again I’d encourage her to talk to her dr if you’re close enough. I’ve had very bad anxiety and OCD in the past and your mind can literally show you the worst case scenarios and it’s very scary.

Hardly a massive deal as only home 15 - 20 mins later than expected. Bad traffic could cause that delay, the world's gone mad.

If she employs you as a chauffeuse, she is entitled to say who travels in her car.

Does she?

She was at work till 7pm. Don't make excuses. She was rude and selfish and totally unreasonable!

Didn't OP or the her daughter have a phone she could borrow?

Neighbour is insane.

My experience of hone educaters fits the narrative that @Applewisp has portrayed.

I stand by my thoughts and use this as a perfect example of why.

I completely accept that many people don’t believe that home education would be right for their child. And for many children, it wouldn’t be. It’s the sweeping statement that it’s categorically a “bad idea” for every child that I object to.

Some home educators think school is an awful institution and no child should be there. They’re wrong too.

The truth is that school doesn’t work for every child and home education can be a brilliant option for some. My DC were in school until the age of 10 and as I said, I was a school governor (including acting Head of Governors for two years). I’m not anti-school in the slightest.

In our home ed community, we’ve just had a bunch of our teens pass exams this summer. Some of them took exams as home educators; others went to college at age 15/16 and flew through their exams despite never having attended school before.

The fact you also referred to it as home schooling tells me you know little about home education. There are - of course - the occasional mad frogs like the PP but the vast, vast majority of home educators are diligently educating their children and doing a bloody good job of it. In many cases, the children have SEN and there simply weren’t suitable school places for them.

Every home educator is required to provide annual proof that their child is receiving a suitable education - and some of those checks are intensive to a degree that isn’t applied to children in schools. It’s not as easy path.

The fact that so many of our home educated children don’t have the option of going to school because of a lack of suitable places makes it especially shitty to have it summarily dismissed as “bad”.

I don’t expect to convince you, nor am I trying to - we can agree to disagree. It’s just that there is so much untrue nonsense that gets bandied around and repeated, it’s frustrating because it ends up having a real effect on our kids who have to deal with prejudice. As an ex-school governor I could talk about a number of children who were failed by the school or where the quality of teaching was poor - but I don’t dismiss all schools as “bad”. I’m just asking for the same level of respect.

Omg they are 15 not 6! If she’d walked home she’d have been home later anyway!

I stand by my views of home educating, as I said the poster is a perfect example of that, it’s not the first time I’ve experienced this attitude and never experienced a positive attitude from home schooling/educating. .

I referred to it as home schooling because the PP did, although I’ve no real interest in the terminology to be fair, it’s irrelevant to me if it’s called schooling or educating, I know what I’m referring too and it makes no difference what they call themselves, my opinion remains the same.

Unless you are running a proper taxi/ minicab business , I can't see why she had any reason to think you had agreed to give exclusive lifts for her daughter and a guaranteed time home. She's nuts.

Sadly for her daughter, I think you must decline her ' terms and conditions' for future lifts.

And the worried neighbour has OP's number and OP's daughter's. She could have phoned one of them.

Yes it seems strange to hold OP responsible.

@DinonneS I'm glad it all worked out and she apologized. Several times in fact.
I think we have all panicked about something at some time and maybe didn't act our best. I'm glad you both talked and you've let it go.

Your village sounds like a lovely place to live with people who care about each other. 💙💛💚💜💖

I wouldn't even pick up the phone and entertain that kind of nutty behaviour

The girl would have known as she was in the car and what difference does 15 minutes make when the mum is in work until 7pm 🤦🏻‍♀️ Sometimes busy traffic can add that to you journey.

This. If she's stressed about 7 minutes, she'll be a very panicky parent as her DD gets ollder and needs to become independent..and if she goes to uni, this mum will have to get used to not knowing where she is for much of the time. Foe her own sake, she needs to learn to accept that sometimes things run late, or phone batteries die.

Honestly? The neighbour has apologised more than once. I expect the OP will just draw a line under it. It doesn’t sound as though she and the neighbour know each other well enough to recommend going to see the doctor about anxiety.

What a completely disrespectful woman your neighbour is. My words to her would be that's the last time you transport her daughter.

The neighbour thinks you are her personal taxi service, then - tell her where to get off.

You're very kind. No lifts for complainers child again though

YANBU unless:
She might have been worried when her daughter wasn’t home at the time she estimated?
Maybe she made plans in light of her daughter being home early. If she works full-time or has other commitments it may have been a chance to have a chat with her daughter.
Maybe she has snother child to consider and it affected her plans?
Or maybe she dislikes the other girl in the car?
Just prepare yourself for any of these or other possible scenarios. You were well-intentioned, just be honest with her.