Page 9 | WIBU to give my daughter's friend a lift home in torrential rain?

Isittimeformynapyet · 08/09/2026 23:12

DisappearingGirl · 08/09/2026 19:34

That's utterly batshit and you did nothing wrong.

However (and people will disagree with me here!) it's worth a lot to not fall out with your neighbours / kids' friends' parents, even if they are a bit highly strung. So I'd probably just listen to what she has to say and if she says "I was really worried" I'd just apologise - genuinely but not grovelling - e.g. ah I'm sorry you were worried, I should have got your DD to message you.

I'm sorry you were worried, I should have got your DD to message you

I agree with your overall point about keeping on decent terms with neighbours, but OP should tell the woman to speak with her own daughter about communicating with her about this. It's really not OP's responsibility to manage her neighbour's issues.

Freshrain · 08/09/2026 23:12

ForEdgyHare · 08/09/2026 20:29

I voted the wrong one!!!
OP your neighbour is being ridiculous!
After you have done her favour too! Some people. Anyway sorry again. I voted YBU but I actually meant to press YANU

Just so that you know, for future reference (or for anyone else who has done this), you can change your vote by just clicking on the other option if you vote wrongly by mistake, or on those threads where drip feeds paint a very different picture and you want to change your vote.

Isittimeformynapyet · 08/09/2026 23:17

Walkerzoo · 08/09/2026 19:35

I.would.want to listen so that I could then say would you prefer a child get soaked in dangerous conditions. Then I would walk away and never offer a lift again.

Sorry, what was dangerous about the conditions? Rain is merely unpleasant.

Try not to get caught up in the increasingly hysterical anxiety so prevalent these days. (that's not an order btw, just a blanket suggestion for everyone's good mental health)

Laura95167 · 08/09/2026 23:19

Aww thats a nice ending. Glad youre sorted OP

MsAmerica · 08/09/2026 23:22

You've done nothing wrong. In fact, you were generously kind.
You don't owe the mother any information about other people, just like you're not obliged to tell someone you've invited to a party who the other guests will be.
If the mother has this bizarre rule, she should lecture her own daughter about it.

Bogliasco · 08/09/2026 23:23

DinonneS · 08/09/2026 21:53

Right so neighbour has been over. It’s a bit of an anti climax but I’m glad we have sorted it now as I was genuinely confused I was missing some kind of unwritten parenting rule.

Neighbours dd battery died in school so when she was later than expected (neighbour was listening out for the ring doorbell alert), she had tried to call her dd and it went straight to voicemail. She said as the weather was so bad (driving conditions were pretty terrible tbh) she had a bit of a panic and was thinking that we’d had an accident or something and thought the worst. I did say to her that she has my number so she could’ve called me. She also has my DD’s number. I have my phone set up to the car hands free. She said she’d been having a rough week and ‘lost her shit’ for a moment and just panicked.

Neighbour was apologetic and said she was very grateful that’s I’d saved her dd a wet walk home and that she was glad I dropped the other girl off too. Think she just jumped the gun out of panic and realised that after calming down. As she left she she said it wasn’t her finest moment and that she hoped there were no hard feelings. She will also be picking dd up for me on Friday as it’s forecast to be another windy, rainy day.

As I said, I don’t really know her well socially but we have been neighbours for a long time and out DD’s get on well so I didn’t want any bad blood. I’m going to chalk this down to her having a bad week and waking up on the wrong side of the bed and put it behind us.

That's the best possible resolution really. We're all human and she was sorry. I would think more highly of her after this rather than less.

Original poster

DinonneS · 08/09/2026 23:23

She clearly still feels bad because she messaged me to apologise again and to thank me for being so kind. The thing is, I wasn’t being particularly kind or going out of my way. This is just the way we are in my area. We help each other out and many, many times I’ve been stuck at work or at an appointment with my other dc and had to call on other parents to pick dc up. It’s give and take.

i can imagine she’s lying in bed overthinking her overreaction and probably feeling bad about it. I don’t want that, it really wasn’t that big of a deal and it’s sorted now so hopefully we can move on and I’m happy to pretend it didn’t happen.

I remember when dd was in nursery and I went to drop her off with my 2 month old ds. I was so overwhelmed and exhausted I snapped at another parent about their parking and then started crying. I was mortified as I then had to see said parent most days for the next 3 years. It happens to the best of us. At least she had the grace to apologise.

OP posts:

Original poster

DinonneS · 08/09/2026 23:24

Bogliasco · 08/09/2026 23:23

That's the best possible resolution really. We're all human and she was sorry. I would think more highly of her after this rather than less.

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I completely agree

OP posts:

Original poster

DinonneS · 08/09/2026 23:27

Isittimeformynapyet · 08/09/2026 23:17

Sorry, what was dangerous about the conditions? Rain is merely unpleasant.

Try not to get caught up in the increasingly hysterical anxiety so prevalent these days. (that's not an order btw, just a blanket suggestion for everyone's good mental health)

Show quote history

It was very heavy and windy and it was hard to see even with my wipers going on full blast. I agreee though, as a responsible adult I would’ve pulled over if I genuinely thought it was too dangerous for me to drive. I think she’s just really stressed at the minute and jumped to the worst case scenario. We’ve all been there. Sometimes rationality goes out the window

OP posts:

Isittimeformynapyet · 08/09/2026 23:31

DinonneS · 08/09/2026 23:27

It was very heavy and windy and it was hard to see even with my wipers going on full blast. I agreee though, as a responsible adult I would’ve pulled over if I genuinely thought it was too dangerous for me to drive. I think she’s just really stressed at the minute and jumped to the worst case scenario. We’ve all been there. Sometimes rationality goes out the window

Show quote history

I was very heartened to read your update and think you've behaved impeccably all the way through.

I was responding to a pp who said that it would have been dangerous for the girl to have walked home. It's probably safer than driving.

Gwenna · 08/09/2026 23:49

DinonneS · 08/09/2026 15:31

A bit of advice need to how to handle this situation. So dd is 15 and walks to and from school. It’s about a 10 min walk so not far and dd has a group of friends, including one of our neighbours dd, who all walk together. Today we have had torrential rain all day so I dropped her this morning and said I’d pick her up. Messaged my neighbour (who works until 7pm) and asked if she’d also like me to pick up her dd. She said yes please so I’ve rocked up outside school to pick the two of them up. While there I see dd’s friend who lives about. 20 min walk but only a 7 min drive away and offered her a lift too and it was genuinely pouring down. She was very grateful and I know her mum so I knew she’d have no problem with it. All in all the extra drop off took me an extra 15mins and we were home at 3.10pm instead of the usual 2.55pm. Neighbour has completely kicked off that I didn’t tell her I was picking up and dropping another child while her daughter was in the car. She said we’ll be chatting about it tonight when she’s back home. Not sure what I’ve done wrong tbh

You’ll be “speaking about it” when you get home? Is daddy going to be there too?! She sounds lile a mum speaking to a naughty child!

Pause4thoughts · 09/09/2026 00:22

I wonder if your neighbour saw this post?

Calliopespa · 09/09/2026 00:58

I think you summed it up by saying she had the grace to apologise.

So many people don't!

Dweetfidilove · 09/09/2026 02:12

Bless her heart 😊. Good outcome

ThisJollyTaupeGuide · 09/09/2026 02:17

DinonneS · 08/09/2026 23:23

She clearly still feels bad because she messaged me to apologise again and to thank me for being so kind. The thing is, I wasn’t being particularly kind or going out of my way. This is just the way we are in my area. We help each other out and many, many times I’ve been stuck at work or at an appointment with my other dc and had to call on other parents to pick dc up. It’s give and take.

i can imagine she’s lying in bed overthinking her overreaction and probably feeling bad about it. I don’t want that, it really wasn’t that big of a deal and it’s sorted now so hopefully we can move on and I’m happy to pretend it didn’t happen.

I remember when dd was in nursery and I went to drop her off with my 2 month old ds. I was so overwhelmed and exhausted I snapped at another parent about their parking and then started crying. I was mortified as I then had to see said parent most days for the next 3 years. It happens to the best of us. At least she had the grace to apologise.

If she has some general and social anxiety like it sounds, she will probably be overanalyzing her own behavior for days and cringing in mortification, and 10 years from now when she's trying to fall asleep, it'll suddenly be like "Omg remember when you sent that hideous text to DinonneS??" Been there, done that. But that's not your problem; you seem to have handled the whole situation with aplomb and accepting her apology and pretending it didn't happen moving forward sounds like the perfect thing to do.

Strawberrryfields · 09/09/2026 02:28

CrispySquid · 08/09/2026 15:39

How ungrateful and hysterical. I'd never be picking her daughter up as a favour ever again. You've done nothing wrong OP. No good deed ever goes unpunished!

Rude and ungrateful yes but not hysterical.

Applewisp · 09/09/2026 03:22

Add this to the list of why my kids will not be attending British schools! In America you get picked up and dropped off at your house! Here in the UK, kids walk long distances in all weather carrying heavy bags which is so bad for a child’s back. British schools are abusive in so many ways. And the “school gates” dramas? No way am I standing around on the curb like a chump with a bunch of cackling women every morning and afternoon. No thanks. Home schooling it is.

99bottlesofkombucha · 09/09/2026 03:50

I’d say you’ll have to have the chat to your daughter, as if I see a soaked child from school who lives near me, I’ll be offering them a lift. Your daughter or another child. You can tell your daughter she has to jump back out into the rain if I ever do that to another child while she’s in the car, I’ll leave it up to her.

Pinkchickenwine · 09/09/2026 04:16

Applewisp · 09/09/2026 03:22

Add this to the list of why my kids will not be attending British schools! In America you get picked up and dropped off at your house! Here in the UK, kids walk long distances in all weather carrying heavy bags which is so bad for a child’s back. British schools are abusive in so many ways. And the “school gates” dramas? No way am I standing around on the curb like a chump with a bunch of cackling women every morning and afternoon. No thanks. Home schooling it is.

Oh give over!

There isn’t enough time on the day to say why home schooling is a bad idea!

But you crack on!

I mean a child getting wet from rain will surely ruin their life! No doubt whatsoever!

QueenCamillaMW · 09/09/2026 06:30

Applewisp · 09/09/2026 03:22

Add this to the list of why my kids will not be attending British schools! In America you get picked up and dropped off at your house! Here in the UK, kids walk long distances in all weather carrying heavy bags which is so bad for a child’s back. British schools are abusive in so many ways. And the “school gates” dramas? No way am I standing around on the curb like a chump with a bunch of cackling women every morning and afternoon. No thanks. Home schooling it is.

Yeah children walking? Whatever next!

Stingycow · 09/09/2026 07:31

Applewisp · 09/09/2026 03:22

Add this to the list of why my kids will not be attending British schools! In America you get picked up and dropped off at your house! Here in the UK, kids walk long distances in all weather carrying heavy bags which is so bad for a child’s back. British schools are abusive in so many ways. And the “school gates” dramas? No way am I standing around on the curb like a chump with a bunch of cackling women every morning and afternoon. No thanks. Home schooling it is.

"In America you get picked up and dropped off at your house". 🙄

I could tell you some of the downsides of school in America compared to Britain, but it would probably be considered in poor taste. I'm sure you can think of a couple if you put your mind to it, though.

MitheredNotDead · 09/09/2026 07:42

Applewisp · 09/09/2026 03:22

Add this to the list of why my kids will not be attending British schools! In America you get picked up and dropped off at your house! Here in the UK, kids walk long distances in all weather carrying heavy bags which is so bad for a child’s back. British schools are abusive in so many ways. And the “school gates” dramas? No way am I standing around on the curb like a chump with a bunch of cackling women every morning and afternoon. No thanks. Home schooling it is.

Yeah, it’s terrible in the UK having infrastructure based around pedestrians instead of cars like the US plus our lack of shooter drills in schools…

BitOutOfPractice · 09/09/2026 07:43

Well this won’t do op! A minor drama that was solved quickly and easily by two people acting like reasonable adults. You won’t last 5 minutes on mn with behaviour like this op!!

Thank goodness @Applewisp is here to inject some peak mn ridiculousness into the thread to keep us entertained.

HectorPlasm · 09/09/2026 07:48

Tell her to invest in some stout walking shoes for her daughter

AlwaysExtraHot · 09/09/2026 08:03

Applewisp · 09/09/2026 03:22

Add this to the list of why my kids will not be attending British schools! In America you get picked up and dropped off at your house! Here in the UK, kids walk long distances in all weather carrying heavy bags which is so bad for a child’s back. British schools are abusive in so many ways. And the “school gates” dramas? No way am I standing around on the curb like a chump with a bunch of cackling women every morning and afternoon. No thanks. Home schooling it is.

In America about 70% of people are overweight.